What are your opinions on love and s*x under the following circumstances?

Question

I got to a nudist resort now and then so I can sun bathe topless. Many couples, however, go there to swing. At night they have parties where lots of "love" is shared. I was wondering how you view such a lifestyle. Is it healthy? Is it still love? If not, what is it?

My one buddy actually lives there and is into this sort of thing. I don't judge him even though this particular lifestyle is not appealing to me.

I guess the whole thing sort of puzzles me. So, what are your thoughts?

Answer 1

I have no opposition to this sort of thing.  It's not my cup of tea, but so long as both parties are keen to the idea I think it's fine.  I've been to nude beaches, but most of the people I see are overweight or obese, often men, and rarely do I see attractive young women, so it's not even interesting for me.

Answer 2

If a couple is open and honest in their communication and and both are consenting to swinging, I see nothing wrong with what adults choose to do as long as they aren't hurting anyone.

Answer 3

As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, and the spouses consent to the swinging, then to each his own. Not my thing, because I don't like to share.

Is it healthy? Only the people involved can answer that. Is it still love? I don't think so. I think it's just s*x. As to whether the spouses love each other, I'm not sure. I can't imagine that if you love someone you would want them to be having s*x with other people.

Answer 4

My parents took me to a nudist resort in the late 70s. I obviously didn't see any swinging, but there were some nice topless ladies.

I'd like to go back there, but I haven't yet worked up the nerve.

Answer 5

As long as rules and limits are understood and agreed on beforehand, go nuts.

Answer 6

The Nudist Resorts I have been to, the people do not openly swing..

Answer 7

It's certainly not something I'd choose to do.  I honestly can't understand it on an emotional level, but I don't object to others doing it.

The people I've known who were swingers struck me as emotionally immature.  I don't know if that's a typical swinger characteristic or if it was particular to those 3 or 4 couples.

Answer 8

Its a wonderful lifestyle. You would not believe the feeling of freedom from the norm. There is a huge difference between s*x and love. I only make love with my wife. The other ladies are just s*x between friends. Its not a lifestyle for everyone, but for those of us who enjoy it, its wonderful. I have made the best friends in my life swinging. I don't know about the rest but it seems like we are closer when we share everything.  

Answer 9

The whole swinging phenomena just goes to show how spineless so many men have become. A primordial man would have killed another  man for even trying to get his female to go with him. So many modern men with their longer lifespans and lower testosterone levels are far less territorial about their mates. The mate guarding instinct has diminished from a lot of men. Thankfully, it has not dissipated at all within me.

Swinging is so non-Darwinian. The male offspring that are the product off swingers will also be very unmanly.  

Answer 10

Love and s*x are two separate things.

Swinging is for evolved,mature thinkers who realize that jealousy and insecurity is the result of wanting ownership of your spouse.

For those with a solid relationship, swinging can't hurt it.

STD's among swingers is far, FAR lower than the national average, because swingers take care of themselves.  Couples who cheat on each other have a better chance of catching something, and swinging isn't cheating.

Answer 11

It's a sexual fantasy that both of them are expressing and living.

Answer 12

The S.T.D. risk of that particular lifestyle is enough to turn me off from it.  Not everything I could catch would kill me but some of this stuff out here never really goes away.  For that reason I wouldn't date a woman who I knew to  have been in a swinging relationship.  Nor would I myself engage in such a practice.  I value my health too much.

To answer your original question that type of relationship sounds like an arrangement designed around convenience.

It gives both parties the ability to act on lust anytime they feel like it.  It doesn't sound like love but more like two people who don't want to be alone but don't want to commit. It's an attempt to  try to find some sort of bizarre middle-ground.

Answer 13

*shrugs*

Whateva, whateva, you can do what you want.

Answer 14

its a shame that for a woman to sun bathe topless she has to go to a resort

if i were into tanning and damaging my skin..i'd soooo do it at a public beach on principle

Answer 15

I would never personally do this, but if someone else were to I do not think I would think less of them.  However simply having a relationship is different than having a monogamous relationship or marriage. If these were marriages I would say that they have lost the true meaning of marriage and probably the love a couple shares within a monogamous relationship as well...the more intimate, understanding sort of love.

Answer 16

It may be healthy for some sexual palates, but I just can't see room for it in my individual code of what's moral, and what isn't. To me, it would be very wrong. I've known couples that had threesomes and the like, and they all regretted it. That's my two cents.

Answer 17

to each there own..... we live in a land full of freedoms!

Answer 18

I think it all depends on how much they trust each other and how open they re about these things...

There's some people in this world that think that s*x is something casual, is not what define a relationship therefore s*x is meaningless to them... Love on the other side is something they valorate in top of everything... In there perspective they don't think that the fact that they as a couple are open to have s*x with different people will affect how they see each other other...

Obviously this is not everyone cup of tea...but Who are we to judge? Is not something I would want to try, because of the risks of having multiple sexual partners such as STD and pregnancy among other beliefs.

In your case, if he enjoys this way of life anddon't dont, then you must talk to him, because if you relationship evolves to something serious this definitivelyively affect it....  

Answer 19

Swinging is not love, it is just s*x.

Apart from which s*x is far better if you love the person you are having it with.

While in itself it is not "Unhealthy" swinging carries a greater risk of STD's.

Answer 20

It really doesn't matter. I don't pass judgment on people for what they do in their personal lives as long as no one is getting hurt, or they're not hurting themselves.  

Answer 21

I would never do that, and if I was with a guy and he really loved me, he wouldn't even dignify that suggestion.

Answer 22

I lived at a nudist camp wherein people partied at night and engaged in swinging.

It's no more a requirement to swing than it is to get completely naked.

Most camps/resorts are clothing optional (as you have discovered) and so swinging is also optional.

My opinion regarding swinging is, as many on here have said, a sign of emotional immaturity.

Nudity ain't s*x; s*x ain't love.