What are your opinions?

Question

what if you were the one to fall,

would I leave you there and not help at all,

I fell in love and hurt myself as I fell,

and the bruises and cuts now hurt like h***,

and the many tears stream down with heat,

and all I want to do now is retreat,

and run and keep runing away,

but the scrapes on my knees are the things that make me stay,

and I want to run so far away,

from you and all of your kindness and torture today,

but I think something is broken,

but words for help remain unspoken

you don’t listen as I cry,

so on the ground I lie,

you can be so cruel,

I am such an idiot,

I am nothing but a fool,

I have no right to love it is wrong but I hate being right,

may I always love you through-out the day,

and cry into my pillow into the night

Answer 1

I like the poem ... Did you write it yourselve  ?

Answer 2

I really like it, it's cool. Yeah, there are a couple of spots that need work, though. It seemed like you said "and" alot, lol.

Answer 3

that's pretty good!

Answer 4

amazing i like it!

Answer 5

thats deep!!

it shows what you feel and thats really good!!!

Answer 6

wow, u wrote that urself? its very good. a lot of love poems are boring and just talk about how their heart is in pain but u expressed it with the entire body. it switches it up a bit. i think just to make it even more interesting put the line breaks in different places (eg-

"but words for help remain

unspoken

you dont listen

as i cry") but your the poet so do whatever u feel like doing

Answer 7

Very nice work, it's just that there's too many "and"s.

Answer 8

It's good but I would make it flow better. There is a couple of spots that need work.

Answer 9

wow. deep.

Answer 10

I love how your poem rhyme with each verse, but i can't really get this, the first half I love it, but the bottem, you kind of lost it.

for the last verse, ...while I cry on my pillow and into the night...

I write a lot of peom...love them soo much...like your too...

Answer 11

Hello,

I'm not sure

GOD BLESS YOU

Answer 12

It doesnt matter what other people say about your writting as long as your writting.....keep it up!!!! A+

I dont share what I write on the net, it's too personal

Answer 13

It doesnt really flow. It makes sense, but it seems like you were trying to get a rhyme every sentence you said, also there were too many 'ands'.

Answer 14

i'm sorry but it doesn't cut. i would try to write about something else.not trying to be mean. sorry.

Answer 15

re-write and don't rhyme.