What are your thoughts about this.. ?

Question

This is a poem I wrote a while ago, I'd just like to hear your thoughts on it.

What just happened ?

Car crash; hold my breath.

Too fast, too soon.

Visiting hours; death.

The family was there,

in my time of need.

But what went through your mind ?

You repulse me, I'm just a seed.

A year later;

the past was left behind.

You know that I'm off limits,

that thought clearly left your mind.

I can't tell anyone,

I'm too ashamed.

I can't get help,

or I'll be blamed.

Leave me alone.

I am shaking and scared.

What is going on ?

I am not prepared.

Answer 1

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 2

This is a lovely poem with a lot of raw emotion and pain wrapped up in a striking format of such few words. An amazing job! Sorry for the death of your uncle, and I hope the person who hit him is found and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Such senseless acts are so reprehensible. Love your poem. Please continue to write. Thanks for sharing.

Answer 3

Really good poem. Short words used here are just so effective and the flow of the poem is lovely too. It really makes you think about how this person is feeling - a really deep poem.

Answer 4

omg if u put it backwards it would be SO PERFECT . It would  like bulid up suspense... idk .

Answer 5

This poem is beautiful. And it has special meaning to me since my friend died in a car accident last friday night.

I hope however that you were not involved in a hit and run in any way shape or from.

God bless

Answer 6

the best poems always come from the worst tragadies

emotionally insparational im not really good at those type i can only write haiku and tatanka poems and freestyle non from emotion i just cant do it like that great poem and yet a sad one

Answer 7

It was by far, the best of your poems I have read yet! I can feel the emotion coming from this poetry. I can feel the sadness and hurt as well as the sorrow for committing the deed. This poem of yours has flowed the best and I can find no fault in it. Keep writing from your heart as it produces the best written work.