What are your thoughts on a 36 yr old woman dating a 19 yr old guy?

Question

The 36 yr old (my best friend) looks to be about 25-27 yrs old. People tell her this nearly everyday. She is very pretty and I think he's lucky to have her. (I think he knows this)

They have been dating like 3 months now and get along very well. She talks about him like he's the sweetest thing ever. He tells her he would do anything for her and treats her really well. They do get along well too.

Up until last week, she thought the guy was 20 about to become 21. She started to plan him a 21st Bday party and he felt guilty and confessed that he's only 19. Now she has a complex because she now knows she's dating a teenager. He claims that he felt that if he told her in the beginning that he was only 19 she wouldn't have anything to do with him. I'm not sure she would or not. Neither is she. But now she has grown quite fond of him and isn't ready to end this. I told her that I understood what she was going through, but really I don't.

Can someone out there give me some perspective on this?

Answer 1

in my opinion, age is just a number. if either one of them are uncomfortable with it then they should be friends. but i think they should see what happens

Answer 2

Must be pretty desperate.

Answer 3

If they get along well together and he treats her right, then good for him (and her).  They are at very different stages in their lives, but so far it sounds like they have enough common ground for this to not be an issue.  I don't have any problem with older women and younger men at all.  I dated an older woman once (6 years older) and enjoyed it for the short time it lasted.  Most of the women I dated were my age or younger--my wife is 2 years younger.  Age does not matter--if you are happy together and have things in common, that's all that matters in my book.  And that applies to anyone, including your friend.    

Answer 4

19 vs 21 is a difference due to the legal drinking age. Depending on her long term plans - boy toy vs serious It may or may not work.

Answer 5

I personally think it is ok for her to date a 19 year old guy. I am 19 and I am dating a 35 year old man. Who cares about the age. Why does it matter to her that now that she knows he is 19. She was already into him b4 she knew. It showed how mature he was since she fell for him. Although it was not right 4 him to lie. But it is ok. I do not find it disgusting. I mean it certainly isnt disgustung when a 19 year old gets sent to war, is it? So why is it disgusting for him to date a 36 year old. (:

Answer 6

is there something wrong with being a cougar? 19 or 20 or 21... whats the difference? shes just having fun. he prob wont last cuz he will get bored with her first. just let it go and dont take it sseriously.

Answer 7

Well there is two things that I feel are a concern here, one, he wasn't honest with her which tells me that he is immature. If he couldn't tell her he is 19 what else is there that he feels that he has to lie about? Two, most teenage and young men act younger than they are.

But, overall it is not a matter of what other people think of the younger and older relationship it is a matter of whether or not it factors into their own relationship or not for them. If they make an issue of it, it will always be an issue for them. (It sounds as if it is an issue since the guy lied about his age). Not the way to start a relationship if you ask me.  

And truly if a much older woman and much younger guy are in love who are we to judge, same goes for a much older man and a much younger woman.  

Answer 8

no disrespect intended to men but lets face it, even at the ripe age of 30, men do not mature lol.

I personally think that the age difference isn't important if they are both happy and want the same thing then why not.

Wish your friend the best of luck

Answer 9

I know it's possible to fall in love with someone alot older or younger than yourself, but I think if a person is old enough to be the mother/father of who they are dating, it shouldn't happen.  

Answer 10

well he's gonna be 20 soon, i dont see whats the problem. kinda back at square 1.

Answer 11

She's robbing the cradle.  Any woman messing around with someone that young is insecure and craves the attention that obviously isn't coming elsewhere.  It is a disturbing with the age difference at those particular ages.

Answer 12

the age difference is something that is on the lines of strange, as long as they're okay with it I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Answer 13

I think its disgusting that a grown woman is dating a child.  Yes he is "legally" an adult but he is still mentally a child.  

Answer 14

Hmm...I have a friend who is 16 and goes out with a 37 year old women :P. I dont disapprove of it, because if you like each other mutually; there really shouldn't be a problem. Age shouldn't really come in the way if you really are devoted to each other :]. Sure it might cause problems, but I dont really disapprove of it.

Answer 15

In society we tend to have the males to be older than female, taller etc, because its what we define as normal! but doesnt really matter!  

Answer 16

Hey don't worry about other people. All you can focus on is yourself and as long as they are happy more power to them. But i personally wouldn't date so much younger than me. But if it's been working for them keep it going.

Answer 17

I THINK IF THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT,,THEN THEY SHOULD GO FOR IT,,LOVE !REAL LOVE! IS VERY HARD TO FIND OUT THERE,,PEACE

Answer 18

Nobody has stated the obvious here, Folks.

Thirty-six year old woman with a 19-year-old MAN (not boy, thank you)...  Both are directly smack-dab in the middle of their sexual primes.  Pheromones are flowing, everything is attractive about each other...  But...

Whereas there is an undeniable attraction between the two (obviously), the relationship may or may not work based on maturity, life experience and common interests, rather than age.  I don't care how many years there are between the two, if they both want a career, a nice big house on a hill, and the standard 2 1/2 kids and a dog, then everything could be fine.  But if he has any interest in partying at all hours of the night, roaming the country just to travel, and she's got work and doesn't want to support his frivolous lifestyle (just an example, you get the drift), then, no, it won't last.  Some people are ready to settle down at 20, some aren't by 60...  You just never know.

All in all, if they care for each other, let things be.  What I mean is, just be together, live life, enjoy each other's company.  Don't try to plan for the future right from the start.  Let things happen naturally, and you'll know if things aren't right (whether it's regarding age or the way he farts in his sleep...), and it will be easier to end things or work through them then, rather than worrying over the little things now.

Tell her good luck with everything, and to remember these important words:  Sexual Primes Do Not Last Long!  ;)