What are your thoughts on closed adoptions?

Question

for it ?

against it?

why?

why not?

please be elaborate

Answer 1

I hate it!!!!!!!  They serve no purpose other than hurting the child involved with the premise of "protecting the child". What a closed adoption early thought was to protect the adopted family from people knowing that they adopted. Private adopting is only to protect the adopting parents.

Answer 2

Im sort of for it, and against it at the same time.

For it, because if i adopted the child, and it was an open adoption meaning the mother/father can visit often, i have to send pictures, they can take them out to the zoo or whatever, id feel like i was just doing the nasty work. Giving it food, a roof to live under, ect. Id feel like i wasnt realy the mother, so closed adoptions would be better if i was adopting.

Then again, If i was sending my child out i would want it to be open adoption, so i can recieve updates and visit them.

So its sort of a hard decision.

Answer 3

I’m not for it or against, every situation is different. Some people both PAP and BP want closed adoption, for various reasons. If people have  a closed adoption though I think they need to try and get as much information as they can from about the birthfamily. The birthparents should be willing to supply that information, any medical information that would be beneficial.

Answer 4

you know sometimes when adoptive children seek out their biological parents, they can get a hurt that just won't go away.  sometimes ignorance is bliss.  some biological parents turn away their biological child when they try to meet them and have a possible relationship.  on the other hand, i have seen people who met their biological parents as adults and a new rewarding relationship is formed.  i hate to be so wishy washy because usually i am not but there are so many variables.  i really have seen some heart wrenching situations where an adoptive couple have had a child and loved it, adored it, and built their whole world around a child only to have the biological parents really wreck their world.  and that is not EVEN mentioning what it would do to a child who had only known one set of parents.  i suppose if i had to be pinned down, i would say i am against open adoption unless their are some extremely special circumstances.  i have tried to examine this from all standpoints.  i guess i haven't mentioned the biological parents so much because they are the ones who for some reason, and many times very good ones, are the ones who gave up the child.  as far as telling children they are adopted, i strongly believe they should be told and most adoptive parents know just the right words to say that are age appropriate and will also make the child feel like they were especially chosen and important.  i have known adopted children who were extremely proud to be adopted.  i also know an adopted adult who does not under any circumstances want to meet her biologicals.  there could be horrible things to learn in some instances.  some examples, drug abuse, prison, mental illness, physical abuse, unwanted  unplanned pregnancy, etc.  to give up a child so it can have a better life is a noble thing but i am not so sure if you are the adopted one that you will realize how noble it might have been at the time.  it is a very very complicated situation .

Answer 5

I sm against it.  I have been thiniking about adopting and I wouldn't want to go through the process af being accepted getting a child loving it and then have the birth parents rip it away.  I do believe they have a right to know that they are adopted, when they are old enough to understand.  And when they are old enough they can even try to look up thier birth parents.  The parents gave up the baby ar child for a reason, why should they have the right to change their mind and wreck a family.  We didn't choose to not be able to have our own kids, and should not have to pay for someone to not fully think a situation through and turn around and change a mind.  Most parents adopting have been thorugh enough, they don't need more pain added on to it.  They can and will give the child as much love as the birth parents would if they had decided to keep the child or hadn't done something wrong to lose the child.

Answer 6

I have mixed feelings about it and that is why i am here to better educate myself on open adoption. I completely agree that the child should know form day one that they are adopted and who the natural parents are but like one other person answered here I am afraid. I am afraid that nothing I do will be good enough that the natural parent will feel I am doing things wrong. I know it may sound silly but no one wants there parenting judged. I will not have a closed adoption but how frequent i will be comfortable with visits is what I am trying to come to terms with. For selfish reasons it probably would be easier for us if it is closed but I know realisticly that is not in the best interest of the child and would not do that. It is very tough on the adoptive parents to come to terms with another mother being in the picture but like all aspects of adoption I plan to continue to learn and educate myself so that we make the best decision possible for all parties involved.

Answer 7

I was adopted at birth & I've never had contact with my biological parents. That was their own decision. I have their names, back round information, and all their medical history which is important. My parents have told me from very young if I ever wanted to find them that they would always help. The truth is I have my own parents, and for me there is no need to contact them for anything. I personally feel that open adoptions are difficult and confusing for the child. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I know I wouldn't want that. I don't think people have a right to be against it if they weren't adopted. There's no happy medium here. If you choose to give your child up deal with consequences. It's not fair to the adoptive parents and the child. I can't believe how ignorant people are.

Answer 8

I'm against it. The reason being is that the adoptive parents of that child will most likely not tell him or her that they were adopted. The child will mostly likly find out and wonder why they didn't tell them. This will make them feel like they did something wrong or wonder why their parents had to lie to them. Now that the whole parent child trust is broken the child will begin to wonder what else they lied to them about.

Answer 9

I am for a closed adoption. here you have a biological mother and or father who are not relatives or close family friends yet they are part of your child lives. How do you think the child will feel about that . who is this person.? why are they always around.

Also adoptive parents can sometimes feel that their parenting skills are being judged. the biological parent(s) may  not agree with the parenting style, dress, religion, what have you.  There are to many things that would have to be worked out in the begin. I believe a clean break is best for everyone. When and how a parent choose to to tell their kids about their adoption is their business.

Open adoption just forces their hand to explain to a child what adoption is  when a child to young to understand what adoption is.