What are your thoughts on this?

Question

The pain was crushing.

She bowed her head.

"Please Lord, one last task...

I ask."

With trembling fingers,

she smoothed his bed.

Then slumped down on the floor...

quite dead.

Answer 1

Interesting, it can take one's thoughts several ways, I like it much.

Kudos.

Answer 2

I think it's quite poignant myself.  And far more powerful in its image because of the brevity of the piece.  

Well done in my book.

Answer 3

This is personal in a way. Dear friends of ours, though the husband was the caregiver, cared for his wife until her passing, hiding the fact he knew very well, he was also dying of pancreatic cancer. While she was alive he remained strong, as soon as she passed he quickly deteriorated and passed within 3 months. Just goes to show the power of love can over-come anything.

Answer 4

Is this an image of devotion to duty run amok or a wry commentary on the dark side of domestic bliss?  We are uncertain whether her problem is physical or societal/cultural.  The mystery is palpable, and far more words could have been expended in sorting all of this out than were employed in the poem's economy of expression.  An intriguing piece...

Answer 5

A 30 word mystery...  The rhyme is fun.  Intriguing!

Answer 6

Quite morbid.

Answer 7

I like this, it makes me think and lets my imagination take it from where you left off!

Answer 8

This poem of devotion is very poignant. I hope it does not start an argument about domesticity. You have said much with few words, but as in every good poem, you have left something to the reader's imagination.

Answer 9

i honestly don't like it one bit... it doesn't make sense to me... u need to put in a few more lines to make it clear what's going on...