What can I do? I feel so helpless... And its not even that bad. No-one is dieing, I'm just feeling c**p!?

Question

I've never ever had a boyfriend or a first kiss. I have a friend who is, well, bigger than me and she's snogged plenty of guys. Not saying she's a bad person,she's lovely. They were all in teen discos and in teen disco's, you snog the first lad who asks you; its all about appearance. I've never been on a date, never been kissed, never been complimented and my self esteem is non existent. I've never had any. Guys tend to look at my friends, not me. I haven't even hit puberty! Two years ago I attempted suicide and a year later was diagnosed with depression. It got better last year but over the summer I've just been getting these feelings again...

Please help.

I dont even know what I'm asking.

Answer 1

it will happen it just means you have to wait a little longer, if your friend is off kissing any boy that will have her then it just makes you a better person, i would rather have respect for myself than have loads of boys like me and only like me for my looks !! you need to feel good about yourself first ! I'm guessing your shy i was like that and didn't get invited anywhere but i would rather have my close friends than people that just ignore me . . you need to stop worrying about how everyone else sees you!

Answer 2

anti depressants

Answer 3

First go back to your GP. Then talk to someone--your mum?--you dont say how old you are--maybe its just hormones that make you feel bad. then get some new interests- join a gym, club, class, anything you are interested in. that way you will make new friends and have something else to talk about. Then when you go out, be interested in the people you are with. They will  love talking about themselves . No good just jumping a guy and snogging him just to score points--he wont want to know after.

The gym is a good idea, apart from keeping fit and sport and meeting fit guys- the excersise really can lift your mood!

hope your feeling better soon, if you want you can mail me if i can help

Answer 4

Ahh. I'm the same as you without depression. You just have to deal with it and know that one day you will meet someone special who likes you for who you are regardless of anything else. And don't compare yourself with your friends because you're you and they're them. You just got to accept that everyone is different and be happy :D

Answer 5

I was about 20 years old before I had my first real kiss.  22 for my first real relationship.  It was because I didn't have any confidence before then.  I've always been pretty, but didn't start feeling like it until after a lot of counseling.  When guys see you, they can sense your insecurities because you will show them through body language.  This body language is not inviting, and guys may think that you're beautiful, but not think you're approachable.  Give yourself a while to grow, mature, and love yourself.  When you are ready, the boys will respond naturally.

Answer 6

Its not all about looks when it comes to kissing boys. I was like you at school. Everyone thought that my friend was  the pretty one - but friends mums use to say it to me. When I look back I can see that I actually was prettier than her - i just didn't have the confidence.

Go and see your doctor about the depression. Don't suffer alone - you can get help. It is a difficult time of life for you - it is hard growing up. but don't worry about kissing boys. You have plenty of time for that.

Answer 7

Promiscuity is overrated! If you make a conscious choice to remain pure until you find the right guy (marriage material), the pressure to conform is off and that guy you marry will cherish you all the more for remaining pure.

Think I'm old-fashioned? Try asking several guys if they'd ever have a serious relationship with a girl who behaves like your friend does.

As for self-esteem, it, too, is overrated. Studies show that those people with the highest self-esteem tend to have the most shriveled consciences. They are not the ones you'd describe as compassionate, wise, loving or other-oriented. Rather, they tend to be psychopaths in embryo (no, not all psychopaths are slash-and-burn types; there's a subgroup sometimes referred to as "political psychopath." They won't kill anyone, but they will walk all over people - with a smile - to get what they want).

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, vow to stay pure, and maybe have a little talk with your friend. Promiscuity is a sign something is wrong.

Answer 8

so what are you going to do about it ?.

are you going to sit there and wallow in self pity our are you going to get up off your knees and do something.

what are your interests, are there no clubs where you live that you can join where you will meet people that have an interest in something you like.

team activity's are the best way to make new friends and start to feel good about your self, i know its not easy, when you feel low its hard to go out and do new things where you don't know any one but trust me its for the best.

good luck..xx

Answer 9

Go to your doctor or tell your mum how you're feeling.

As for the kissing thing don't worry, it'll happen eventually.

I was 15 when I had my first kiss and felt like I was the only 15 year old in the world who'd never been kissed !

Please go to your doctor.