What can I do about a childish husband?

Question

This will sound ridiculous but I am so ticked at my husband (41) right now over a dumb thing. It's just that he does this to me really often when he doesn't get his way or has to, heaven forbid, compromise!

Last night it was really warm in our house and he wanted ice cream. As usual, he sends me out to get it. I didn't feel like going out again but I went anyway while he showered. The line at DQ was really long and I didn't want to wait so I went and picked up fudgcicles from the grocery store, ones he likes and has eaten before. Thinking he'd be happy to have something cool I went downstairs and gave him one. He pouted for the rest of the night because he didn't get his blizzard and on top of that, he left the fudgcicle to melt in its package on the table. When I realized he hadn't eaten it yet, I said "I think the fudgcicle is melting" just as a reminder in case he'd forgotten it was there. He just shrugged and ignored me for the rest of the night. I know, I know, this sounds silly but there are lots of other things that happen like this. He gets me to do something for him and then ignores it or says he doesn't need it or whatever. The other night we were out shopping and he saw a computer game he wanted. I suggested checking to see if there is a trial version online first just to see if it's something he'd like. He looked at me and just like a child said "but I want it now". So I ended up buying it for him against my better judgement and when he got it home and tried it, he didn't like it. What do you think of all of this aside from the fact that I'm am idiot for putting up with this for nearly 10 years?!

Answer 1

There'd be no way I would put up with that bullshit.  

Answer 2

Well for starters you can stop enabling him.  Why in the h**l are you jumping to get him these things just because he says so?  

It's great that you want to make your spouse happy, but if he doesnt appreciate it then he doesnt deserve it.

Tell him to get his own d**n blizzard.  He'll probably throw a tantrum (Also like a child).  So treat him like one and dont give in.  Maybe one day he'll grow up.

Answer 3

buy him a pacifier.. stick it in his mouth when he pouts.. you have allowed him to do this.. don't put up with it.. just withhold s*x from him saying you don't have s*x with children.. he in manipulating you.. many men do it.. well, many wives do it also.. you have to stand up for your self...  

Answer 4

Get the h**l out of there and be happy for a change . I went through the same c**p with my ex . Don,t think he doesn,t know what he is doing . Your no more then a dog to him.  

Answer 5

sounds just like my dad.  

Answer 6

You should have gotten him DQ (sorry it's because i work there).It kinda seems like you give him his way and thats why he acts like this.he knows you love him and would do anything for him.He seems like a d**k to me.Don't put up with this stand your grounds.You did not stand your ground at the store about the game and you ended up wasting money.You also are wasting time on this guy.

Answer 7

He sounds like an 8 yr old child.  I would not put up with his c**p!  I would not be able to be married to someone like that.  Maybe get some professional counseling or couples' therapy.  He needs to grow up.

Answer 8

try telling him he cant always get wut he wants and he can go get a blizard himself instead of pushing u around and if that didn't work try marrege cousiling

Answer 9

I don't think that " putting up with this" is a good way to put it. I mean there are alot worse husbands out there.Like husbands with bad tempers and abuse...etc. Even tho he does immature things, all guys do. And if you're looking for someone perfect, you're not going to find him. You might find someone who doesn't do this to you, but he might do worse things. you should consider yourself lucky if that's all the harm he does to you. I would just talk to him. And don't make it seem like he's the only wrong one.compromise. Be like... is there anything I could fix about myself? And then he'll be like yes or no... and then you tell him what he could do for you. I mean yes, there may be worse husbands out there and you should be grateful, but if you've been married 10 years then he should defiantly listen to you. Because you also shouldn't have to put up with his immaturity. And I think that's because you give in. Two can play the little kid game. Just be stubborn and put your foot down next time. You're not a slave, don't let him treat you like one. You should find something you want and ask him for it and if he says no then tell him you're stopping the spoiled little kid thing for him too.

Answer 10

he needs his butt whipped and have a kid if u dont already that should teach him to grow up some...

Answer 11

He's not YOUR child. Pack him off to his mama, perhaps?

Answer 12

The way you put things it seems like you are mother and son!

I would obviously seek counseling

I would say...oh! It seems to be your turn to go out! Can you get me ice cream!

It sounds like you may be a little too laid back with him. I am not telling you to go to extreme but talk to him and say it is time for him to be fair.

You need to be telling him , in a nice way, how you have been feeling. Give him a chance to change.

If he wants to buy something he is an adult and it is his money too. You could only give advice. He chooses what to do. Unless, there is a budget issue.

good luck!

Answer 13

tell him to man up!!!!

Answer 14

Sounds like a spoiled child to me.  And it also sounds like you enable him in every way.  You have to stop doing that or he will continue to act like he belongs in Mrs. Johnson's kindergarten class.  I can even picture him stomping his foot for his game and ice cream.  Pathetic.

Answer 15

he acts childish but you keep folding to him. next time tell him you will not go out and get him ice cream because of the way he treated you was not appreciative but downright rude.

Answer 16

You got him so spoiled! He obviously takes you for granted. You need to talk to him about it, he will probably start pouting and say 'i don't wanna' but you have to make it clear, be very firm, don't give in, there's no way an adult can behave like this.  

Answer 17

as long as you continue to waste your time and energy catering to him and getting discouraged he is going to continue to act the same way. The next time he wants you to go get him Ice cream and you really don't feel like it don't your not his slave. If he wants it so bad then he should go out himself and get it If he doesn't feel like it then why is it ok for you to go when you don't feel like it either.. If you know how he is you are enabling him to continue to be the same way because your not telling him anything about his actions and yet it bothers you and you continue to do for him..

Answer 18

Sounds to me like you are at your wits end and thinking of leaving him!  I think you should be happy and find someone who wants to go to DQ for you late at night sometimes too!  

Answer 19

I would leave him. I dont think people can change. Especially childish men. Honey just give up hes only going to make you miserable forever you deserve to be happy.

Answer 20

What I wanna know is how you were able to put up with this nonsense for 10 years!!! I wouldn't have even given it a month!

Answer 21

It sounds like your husband is actually a child.

Give him some tough love- if he wants ice-cream either he goes himself or you both go together. Or if he's really that childlike, eat it in front of him and make a big deal about how good it tastes. If he wants to act like a child, treat him like one.

Don't wait at his beck and call- you are EQUAL in a marriage and should not be his mother, nor his slave.

At the same time, you probably need to talk to him and tell him how you feel so that he knows what's going on in your head.  

Answer 22

that sounds like my boyfriend. such an a*****e.. he was spoilt by his mum and expects me to do the same. first of all if he wants an ice cream tell him to GO HIS SELF! and if i wants a game he buys it with his money, if you share the household money whatever occasion that is coming up (christmas, birthday..whatever) tell him that Can be his present if he wants it that badly....then go ahead and don't buy him anything else. you wouldn't put up with this behavior from a child so why should you from a fully grown adult (just for the record, i would have shoved that fudgcicle down his throat for being so d**n ungrateful)  

Answer 23

my boyfriend pouts and does the "whiney voice" when he doesn't get his way sometimes its cute but sometimes its REALLY aggravating so I understand exactly where you are coming from!!  At some point you just have to tell him that you want to be his wife not his mother.

Answer 24

I don't know how you put up with it for so long. Next time if he tells you to go out and get something tell him to go and get if he really wants it. Keep using this method and he'll soon start understanding your point of view, if he doesn't he doesn't respect you and you might have to get a divorce.

I hope this will help!!

Answer 25

This is how I would have handled the ice cream issue.  I would have let him know that I did not deserve this treatment from him.  I made a special trip to get him a treat and did the best I could and if he cannot appreciate it, then he can go get them from now on.  I was not going to. Remind him that he is 41 and you are not his mother.  He needs to grow up and start acting like a man with some wavos.

I was married to a man like that for 11 years.  Note, I said WAS.  His immaturity grew larger and larger till he started doing some horrible things to me just because he was a brat.  Don't let your husband go too far with this.

Answer 26

I don't think you are ridiculous, I think you are frustrated, and rightly so. I too live with a childish husband, and I too feel unappreciated at times....in fact I don't really have any valid advice, how sad is that?! I know that due to recent life changing events in our marriage, I have got into the habit of laying it out straight to him. My latest quote is "If you don't like it my way, do it yourself!" and then I don't do what ever it is again until he either apologises or ultimately fudges it up so bad that I have to re do it for my own sanity. I also now tell him straight out when he is behaving like a child and tell him that I don't appreciate his attitude.

I really don't have anything to lose though. He already has a girlfriend living in my spare room, so anything I say from now on he can sulk as much as he likes, but ultimately SHE has to deal with it. he he.

Best of luck with it...I hope you manage to find some constructive way to deal with his annoying behaviour!

Answer 27

Good God woman!! You say he is 41yrs old? If I were you I would put my foot right in his a*% and tell him to grow some B#%%* and to grow up. Why would you put up with this for 10 yrs? you are the one at fault for giving in to his childish ways, you enable him to act this way so you are the only one that can change it .My advise is say no when things like that happen and he pulls the "I want it now" unless he uses his own friggin money. Stop treating him like a child and maybe  he might see how he is acting at the age of 41, or better yet show him this message.  

Answer 28

i would have put the fudgcicle ' somewhere else . someone needs to tell him to grow up . and you need to get yourself a new partner .

Answer 29

Marriage counseling if you want to save the marriage.  Otherwise, he's not going to change.

Answer 30

He really needs to grow up!  And yes you are not the wisest person for allowing him to get away with this behavior.  Start putting your foot down and saying "no".  If need be, get some confidence counseling to help you.  Your husband sounds like a spoiled brat, demanding ice cream and video games.  I wouldn't take that sort of behavior from my 16 year old, let alone an adult.  Please get a grip on things and I hope you can sort it out.

Answer 31

I would be disappointed to if you came home from a trip to DQ with cheapo grocery store fudgesicles.