What can I do about my daughter?

Question

My daughter is 19 and she's been dating this guy since February. He left for the Army in April. Before leaving he proposed to her. She accepted. I'm alright with that he seemed like good guy. Now that he's been away since April. She's ok with that most of the time. She's had a few nights or days when she's depressed, gets angry at people if they bother her enough, thinks she's done something wrong and worries about him if she doesn't hear from him for a day or more. She had a really bad night awhile ago. She talked about hurting herself, giving up on everything, and some other things like that. It worried me. She was alright the next day. When she's unhappy like she is right now, I still worry about her. Worried about her having a break down and not coming back from it. Or getting her heart broken. She tells me she's never loved anyone the way she loves this guy. She wants to be with him forever. He says the same. What do I do about her? I know she's 19 and that's an adult now. I still think of her as my little girl. She's my last one.

Answer 1

It might be a good idea to talk to her about seeing a therapist.  It sounds like she's pretty depressed, and when people start talking about hurting themselves, it's time to do something about it.

Answer 2

I don't think you can ignore her comments about hurting herself.  She needs help.

Answer 3

That is a very hard situation to go through. You should look around in your area and see if there is an army wives group in your area. They could possibly help her to stay focused on him coming home and stuff like that. She probably just needs to talk to someone who is in the same situation.

Answer 4

I know that it is hard to watch our children in pain.  I would recommend that she see a therapist.  It is hard to have a loved one so far away and she could use the extra support while she is in this difficult time.  This is something that she will have to learn how to deal with especially if he wants to make a career out of the army.   Although you sound like an excellent support system to her I think she needs more if she is talking about hurting herself.  This is common when people are anxious or depressed and cannot make their worries go away.  

Answer 5

You may want to look into getting her some help psychologically. Never take a threat to hurt herself lightly. She is in a situation that is very difficult. Granted they are both 19...he is halfway around the world.

Protect your daughter from all possible outcomes.  

Answer 6

awwww such a touching story i think you two need a vactoin some where and it doesnt hav to be some where expenice may be to a another state close by that will be and hav a mother daughter moments so u to connect. also u can tlk bout u husband or boyfriends and how ur where in love i think u two need to do fun activities where she will hav so much fun where she wont think bout her fiance for a while.

IF U THINK I GAV U THE BEST ANSWER PICK ME AS BEST ANSWER

Answer 7

my brother is over seas in bagdad. everytime i open the paper and see a nother soilder killed my heart sinks and i get teary eyed then i start looking for the name. with someone you love far away it is hard. but with her saying she wants to kill herself that is something different. i think you should ask her to go and talk with someone like a doctor that can help her learn how to deal with this life style. an army wife is very demanding on a person. sounds like she has depression. there are medications that can help with those feelings. it is okay to ask for help. good luck

Answer 8

Just be there for her, Tell her do go do stuff with her girlfriends to help pass the time. She could be going to school or working so they can have a better life when he gets back. That will help keep her mind off of it.

Answer 9

All you can really do as her mother is be there for her. I know its not much, but its better then nothing. There's nothing better then having your mother there to support you through thick and thin.