What can I do about my daughters teacher?

Question

My daughter started 1st grade this week, (she has been to pre-k and kindergarten) and she has always loved school and spent the whole summer ready to go back. But everyday this week I have picked her up and she has been crying. She says her teacher is mean and she scared of her. Some instances my daughter gave me was my daughter was couphing and the teacher wouldn't let her get a drink and she was supposed to take $6 to school yesterday and the teacher singled her out and yelled and her for not having it infront of the whole class (that's my fault not a 6 year olds) She says the teacher yells very loud at them all day. These are just a few of the things. Now I can understand that the teacher gets aggrivated with kids sometimes but if she's already yelling at them that bad in the first week it makes me wonder what it'll be like later. I had a meeting with the prinicpal to see if I could get her switched and they said no. I don't know what I can do, my daughter is a very sensitive child (me and my ex husband had a bad marriage, so she hates yelling, it scares her) and I don't her to cry every day when I take her to school for someone she is afraid of

Answer 1

Your daughter is going to have to deal with all kinds of people in this world...this is a lesson she will have to learn sooner or later...you can't shield her from everything...

Answer 2

Sounds like the movie Mathilda.  Have you talked to the teacher?  Maybe your kid is just vying for your attention and is making it up.  Kids do that sometimes.

Answer 3

I would take a day and pop into the classroom.  The school cannot legally tell you that you cannot visit the classroom of your child.  Sit in the back, or off to the side so that you can observe the dynamics of the classroom without interfering.  Observing can tell you everything you need to know about the teaching style of the teacher, as well as the dynamics of the students in the class.  Sometimes, the teacher just may not have good classroom management skills, and the kids take over.  If this is the case, you need to find another setting for your daughter, as no learning will be going on in a classroom of chaos.

The last thing that you want to do is put the teacher on the defensive or make her public enemy #1.  Talk directly with the teacher about the allegations your child is making, and allow her to explain.  Your child's perception of the situation is from a six-year-old's perspective, so you want to be sure that you are getting your facts straight without insulting anyone. Sure, the first week of school as a teacher is hard, and if she truly is stressed out that much- this is not the job for her.  After your talk with the teacher, have a talk with the teacher and the principal to discuss plans for making a smooth adjustment/and plan to make your daughter feel more at home in her classroom.  Just as younger children go through an adjustment period, so do older children in new situations.  This is absolutely not to say that your child is lying about the situation, just that her perception may be different than what really happened- so find out what you can about the FACTS.  

This is definitely a situation for the administrator to look into, but you don't want to go over the teacher's head unless you have to.  Especially since your choices are limited, you really want to make this teacher your ally in your child's education.  However, if this teacher is not performing her job duties, or is treating the children with disrespect- the principal needs to know about it.  

Answer 4

I would def. confront the teacher and if there is still a problem, I would pull her out.

Answer 5

I would complain to the principal and have her put into another class immediately. This type of behavior is very harmful to children and a lot of parents don't take the time to check up on there kids at school enough you will be doing the right think by speaking up. I go up to my child's school unannounced all the time and she is in the 3rd grade now but ive been doing this since pre-k with so much going on these days you just have to be aware of who is teaching our kids and who are around them. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Ask for a conference with both the teacher and the principal, ask for it in writing and let them know you will be taping the meeting.  Also, don't go alone, if possible take the dad (I know it isn't good between you, but if he would go it would be great) or even one of your parents, etc.  Put your concerns again in writing.   Give both of them copies, state for the tape you gave them copies and the date.  ask for written reasons for not switching your child to another class.  If they ask why tell them you are taking it to the next level, the superintendent and if not there the school board.  If they refuse to put it in writing, then you have the tape.  Let them know that you will continue even up to the state board of education.  The squeky wheel gets the attention, be that squeky wheel.

In the first grade it should be a secure, safe, supportive learning environment, not one of fear.

Answer 7

Did you inform the principal of why you wanted to transfer your daughter? If not, I'd try explaining as you did here, to him. That she is sensitive and that she doesn't like to be around yelling or anger. If you did and the principal still said no. Arrange an appointment with the teacher. Maybe she's not aware she's making your daughter feel this way. If she hears you out and still doesn't change her way, I'd change schools if there is another one in your area. It's not fair for your daughter to be afraid everyday. School is challenging enough... No need to make her face unnecessary obstacles... Good luck and tell you're little girl to hang in there!!

Answer 8

tell them that your going to take them to court for verbal abuse of discrimination or something they cant do that i would post this question in the legal section good luck babe

Answer 9

You need to talk to teacher.  You should have done that from the start instead of going straight to the principal.  Keep in mind, the jump to 1st grade from Kindergarten is a big one.  More learning, less play, and a further release of the "hand holding" used to help guide and get the little ones used to school.  Each year they're expected to act more grown up.

Blatant abuse by a teacher is unacceptable and should be addressed and you have every right to step in and defend your child, if it's actually abuse.  

To ask for her to be moved after just 4 days and on the word of a six year old as opposed to actually finding out what's going on and why does not help your daughter in the long run.  If you give her the indication that you're going to jump and save her without following up on her details, she will learn to perfect and rely on you forever.

If you don't think she needs to start learning out to deal or cope with unpleasant and hard situations now, at what age should she?  The tough lessons are learned young.  You can't wait for her to be 10, 12, 15 to start productively problem solving, she will have already grown up with the sense that "problems will go away if by just walking away" or "all i have to do is play the victim" or worse, "mom will solve it for me'

However, you do need to take into consideration what others have said here in regard to your daughter learning to deal with things.

Answer 10

Take her to a counselor.  She needs to learn how to cope with life.  The whole world is not going to baby her.  

Answer 11

If she is having issues this early in the year I suggest you try to get her put in a different class. I had issues with my sons 1st grade teacher and I wish I had switched him!

Answer 12

File a complaint with the school board, or request a hearing to get your daughter switched (or her teacher fired)

Answer 13

Request a parent/teacher conference, and ask that the school counselor and the principal attend as well. It is better to get these things straightened out as soon as possible.  Every time your daughter comes home crying, request a parent/teacher conference. Believe me, if you cause enough of a headache for them, they will move your daughter to another class. They will say no at first because they don't want to deal with it. Keep calling. Write letters. Contact the superintendent's office and bring the issues up with them. You have every right to request your daughter be moved from the class, remember, your taxes are paying for your child's education.  Most importantly, do not discuss the issues with the teacher in front of your daughter, this might make her behave differently toward the teacher, and cause the teacher to treat her unfairly in the classroom.  

Answer 14

I would talk to the teacher, schedule a conference to have you the teacher and the principle talk about what is going on. I would call the super attendant of the schools. Tell them what is going on. and if you need to start a petition to have the teacher fired, Have parents sign it, and present it to the principle and the school board, at one of the meetings that they have.  

I would also maybe pretend that you forgot to send her to school w/o her lunch or something, and stop in to give it to her. Or take her out of school early, and go get her. Sneak an announced visit. Play detective, even, Send her to school with a recorder stuck in her book bag or something. I don't think that you could use the evidence though. If it was my child I would not stop until my little girl felt comfortable at school. Her education depends on what happens now. So don't listen to those people that are saying she needs to learn to live with it. These people must have very depressed children. Good luck.  

Answer 15

Ask the teacher if she holds the creed that says something like "Never smile during the first week of school".

Some teachers are like that to gain better control of the classroom.  After that first month, the real fun starts and the kids are good.

Answer 16

You need to get her out of that class, even if it means to change schools...

Answer 17

Considering you have already gone to the principal to request a classroom the change, I would recommend setting up a Parent-Teacher conference with the teacher.  Have a sit down with her and find out what EXACTLY is going on, and let the teacher know that your child is sensitive to yelling due to things that have gone on at home.  

Once you have done that, you should be able to build a relationship with the teacher so you know what is going on at all times in your daughters classroom.  Get to know the teacher and how she is with the children, it helps a whole lot.

Answer 18

demand she be switched or switch schools if you can. first though, talk to other parents with children in that class and see if their kids feel the same.  

Answer 19

The last I knew parents were the ones paying the salaries!! If it was not for your children they would not have a job. Have you spoke to the teacher? Speak to her and explain to her exactly what you said here INCLUDING the abusive relationship. If that does not work speak to the principal. If that does not work have a PTA meeting. If that does not work bring it to the mayor (they are very interested in the future and the children, well so long as it was  good mayor)

In my book, this constitutes as verbal abuse and if this behavior happened OUTSIDE of school and the authorities were notified the adult would be AT LEAST questioned.

DON'T GIVE UP for the sake of your daughter.

I wish you all the luck!

Answer 20

i live in a smal town in Arkansas and we still have a choice of another school.  You just may have to fill out some forms and make a longer drive.  She does not need to be in this class with this teacher.  You talked to the principal, now talk to the teacher, if you will not stand for you kid, who will right:)  If the teacher doesn't change or starts taking your conversation with her out on your kid, then get her to a different school.  if that is seriously not a possibility at all, home school her for this year until you can figure something out for next year.  Her and her comfort is the most important thing, you as a parent must work around that.  Good luck.