What can I do about the first day of school?

Question

I am 17 years old and my 3 year old is starting school. (preschool) today I had to miss school and so did she because me and my mom took her and she came running out behind me. She was so upset and wouldn't stop crying. I didn't know what to do. So I just told her teacher that I would bring her back in the morning. I don't understand. When we go to the playground she seems to enjoy being around the other kids her age.

Answer 1

She's just frightened of the new surroundings. You probably don't remember first starting preschool, but like most children, you were probably afraid, too.

Maybe try offering her a reward (like candy or something of the like) for behaving and attending school like she should, without pitching a fit. If that doesn't work, just leave her be. She'll stop crying after a little bit. She'll have to.

You BOTH need to be in school, though. So you don't need to miss too many days, especially for things like this. If she gets sick, you're going to need those days off to bring her to the doctor or whatnot.

Good luck

Answer 2

Maybe you can try and explain it to her today that she is a big girl and she needs to stay. Her teacher should have stopped her from coming out though. Make sure you hug her and tell her bye, maybe starting a ritual every morning. Make school sound exciting. Please dont get mad at her though, she is still so little and really doesnt know better. My son is 2 and I jad to leave him in Daycare, and wow, its the worst feeling when your kid is crying and you know you have to leave them there that way. Just be firm and say 'ok, mommy is leaving bye" and then leave. Dont stick around after you say bye.

Maybe you can arrive a bit earlier and have her engage in an activity before you leave.  

I hope this helps  good luck, and I hope she has a better day tomorrow. =)

Answer 3

Just take it easy. It'll work out. Take the advice the others gave you.

Answer 4

If she continues to want to run after you, have your mom take her next time. See if she can stay for a little while until she is engaged in school then slowly sneak out! You might also try setting up a time with the teacher after school to get your daughter more acquainted with her. Once shes used to her, and she knows she'll have fun, then she will be fine. Right now she sees it as a punishment being separated from you and is having difficulty adjusting. Just be patient. Talk about going to school with her. Make it fun for her. Let her know you will see her soon and ya'll can talk about what you both did in school!  

Answer 5

This one is tough, I know-as a mommy of a 1 and a 2 year old, I have been there and I know how it breaks your heart. I also used to work in daycare and I can tell you that the worse thing you can do is to linger. I know it may be painful, but the easiest and best thing to do is to drop her off-don't say anything, just leave. Allow the teachers and other kids to comfort her-after all, that is what they are they for. Your precious baby KNOWS that you will be back for her-but it's hard to reason with a 3 year old-she won't understand-so again, the best thing to do is to NOT prolong the issue, don't make it a bigger deal than it is. Drop her off, say mommy loves you and walk out-don't even look back *I know it's tempting!* believe me, I had several children at my daycare center who had the same issues, but it was easiest for them to adjust to the classroom if the parents just dropped them off and left--it made it harder on the kids whose parents stayed and said "I love you" 100 times. AGAIN, I know this is hard-but over the course of a week or two, she won't cry for you anymore..she will be well adjusted and you will both be comfortable. Good luck, mommma.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, you have set a precedence with your daughter that will likely make the next few drop-offs as difficult, if not more so, as today.  In hindsight, it would have been best to return your child to her classroom and let her teachers do their job of working to calm her down.  It is normal and expected that many little ones will deal with some level of separation anxiety when faced with a new experience without their parents.  Her reaction had nothing to do with how much she enjoys playing with other children, but rather was a result of fear of the unknown.  As her parent, it is important for you to put on your "happy face" when it comes to school.  Speak positively about school and set up a firm departure routine that you don't waiver from.  I have been a mom for 29 years to 4 children plus I am grandma to a 16 month old grandson and I have provided child care in my home for nearly 21 years.  What works best is to give one hug, one kiss, and follow-up with some routine saying such as, "Mommy has to go to school now.  You have a good day at your school.  When I am done with my school I will come back and get you.  I love you."  Then you leave and don't come back until pick-up time.  If, by chance, she manages to escape the room and come after you, you take her by the hand and return her to her classroom with words such as, "It is time for your school now and Mommy has to go to her school.  You will have fun today and Miss Cindy will take good care of you."  Then, making sure her teacher is near at hand, you repeat the farewell routine of one hug, one kiss and words of parting.  It will be hard.  She will cry and you most likely will, too, probably a lot.  That is normal.  It will get better.  Your child's teachers are professionals and have dealt numerous times with this very same situation.  At this moment in time she will have a connection of her crying means you will take her home, so it may take longer for her to transition because of this.  No one wants to see their child sad or upset, but sometimes it happens and this is one of those times when you have to let someone else comfort your child.  If you stick with this routine I guarantee that within a short time she will be escorting you to the door so you can get out so she can get down to her business of her school.  Her first day of school has come and gone and it did go badly, but you can do a lot to help make future school days be better.  It is OK that you didn't know what to do.  No parent knows what to do all the time and sometimes we parents make mistakes.  Fortunately, kids are more resiliant than we give them credit for and come out of a bad parenting moment relatively unscathed.  Try again tomorrow and the next day.  Keep it up and it will get better, maybe never easier, but it will be better.  As old as my kids are, I still find myself weepy at letting my kids go through difficult times, but I know it is what makes them stronger and aids in their growth and development.  ADDED:  I want to strongly encourage you NOT to ever sneak out on your child.  Some parents think this is easier because they don't witness the tears and the clinging when they leave, but from a professional viewpoint, what this sneaking out fosters is a sense of abandonment in a child plus often makes a child more fearful and clingy.  It is far better to announce your departure with a consistant parting routine even if it brings on tears than to simply sneak out when you think your child isn't aware you are going.  If you leave without saying you are going it makes your child wonder when the next time is you will suddenly disappear.  I encourage a short leaving routine as the longer the parent stays the longer it takes for the child to settle down after the parent finally goes.  Additionally, children do not know that you will return for them until they have seen it happen for themselves.  It is helpful to have a pick-up routine as well where you say something like, "Mommy is done with school and she came back to pick you up.  Show me something fun you did today and then we will go home."