What can I do about this???

Question

This is a serious problem, please... no lame answers...

I have a friend, ok, let's call her Tara.

She is best friends with, say, Fiona.

Tara hates Fiona's dad, because of some religion problems in their family. These problems are really very serious ones. Fiona feels really bad about the fights going on at home, so she sometimes cries at school. Tara, looking at how Fiona is affected by all this, feels that what her dad is doing is wrong (I think so too - sorry, can't explain more).

Tara gets all rude and irritated whenever Fiona speaks about her dad, and gets all snappy and sarcastic if he is mentioned by Fiona, for any tiny normal thing also. Fiona doesn't hate her own dad, but she has a tiny amount of dislike for what he is doing.

Tara doesn't mean to act like this, but she cannot help it, for she is so angry at the effect Fiona's dad's behavior has on his daughter.

1) Do you think Tara is right in feeling this way? Or is she merely stupid and overreacting?

2) Does Fiona have a right to be angry with Tara for this?

3) What can Tara do about this (to control her anger)?

Answer 1

Hi!

1. Since Tara is best friends with Fiona, Tara shouldn't be mad at Fiona whenever the latter speaks about her dad. It could be Fiona wants opinions on how to deal with the situation or just want someone to talk to, in this case, to Tara cuz .. well, they're best friends.

2. In my opinion, Fiona has the right to be mad because her best friend doesn't seem to care about her problems (getting all rude and irritated etc) but they should consider talking and Fiona has the right to point out Tara's behavior.

3. Does Tara have an anger management problem? If yes, she should seek help. If not, she sounds as if she doesn't care about Fiona's problems at all so Fiona has to retreat to someone else to have a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 2

he was offered money to change religions?

lol

just remember two things not ever to discuss is religion and politics.

Answer 3

I can not tell Tara how to feel and no one can, but regardless of how she may feel, she should act in the best interest of your friend, instead of gratifying her emotions at their expense.

Fiona has the right to be angry, but ought not be crying to people who aren't prepared for her emotional baggage.

Self control is a difficult skill to master, she must firm her resolve, and attempt to catch herself before speaking out in anger. Self control is all about calm and will power, my only advice can be to relax and be resolute.

Answer 4

Tara isnt being fair. Even if she has strong issues with Fiona's dad, its still not Fiona. If she was a friend, she'd only care about Fiona, not her dad. Fiona can be angry, it would be the same if anyone said anything about someones parent, it might be true..but its not needed. Tara can also realize that her issue isnt with her friend, and its probably not worth all of the **** =)

Answer 5

Your question's are good but to answer them I think we need to know what Fiona`s dad is actually doing or saying.

Just trying to be fair...