Question:

What can I do for this situation?

by Guest59885  |  earlier

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Ok..so I was in a 2 year serious relationship where I was engaged. A couple weeks ago he decided he wanted to be single and alone and then the next day he said it was because he has blood cancer. He refused to budge and reason so I decided to take my vacation early for my sister's graduation and took a detour to Tulsa for a job interview with NCL. Anyways, he then claimed I left him. The day before I left for vacation I found emails pointing in the direction that he had been cheating on me for at least a month with one girl and then there were a few other emails from others (hey...I went in to write down an address in the budget book that was in there).....After I left I found out he was telling people he broke up with me b/c 1.) I told him to quit his job and we were moving (I actually said that when it comes time to sell our house I'd like to move towards a bigger city where I can use my degree), 2.) He'll TAKE ME BACK if and when I finish my degree (he was supposed to be taking care of my tuition b/c I was doing the stay at home mom/house wife deal and i'm down to my last 20 hrs for my degree) and 3.) I NEVER cleaned the house (I refused to clean up after his friend whom he let throw a sheet cake around our house)

Anyways, he was nice at first and said I could keep the house, but I can't afford the mortgage alone. Then he said if I moved he would give me all the money I needed, still help with my bills until I got on my feet, and take whatever furniture I wanted. Then he decided I could be a roommate...and now he has turned to I'm supposedly not allowed in the house.

Well, I just got back from my vacation and came to MY HOUSE....and he had his ex-father-in-law move in to take care of his son (instead of sending him to pre-k) and I now found out he asked the girl he was cheating on me with to move in with her two kids (she's 20 and her kids are 5 and 3 and my now ex-fiance is 29 and his kids are 6 and 3).

Our original agreements on the house he doesn't want to agree to, but considering his ex father in law has the pull out sofa I climb into my side of the bed every night and put our dog in the middle of the bed so he can't touch me. He wants me to sell him my half of the house for $1....I said he can either buy me out or we can put the house up for sale. He said he talked to the VP of the bank and he said our house depreciated by over $25,000 since march of this year even though we've put in over $2000 worth of work into it (which actually came from my mom and I did the labor). I'm considering getting an actual agent out here (probably 3 of them for three appraisals). I want to hold onto my house as long as possible since I came into the relationship going to school full time, working full time, paying all of my bills on time, fully supporting myself etc and now would be leaving my my car, clothes, movies, music stuff, etc. The kids keep begging me not to leave and his daughter has actually started acting up at school because of it (she kicked someone and said it was because she is mad that her dad hurt me and I am moving away and never coming back). My mom found a lawyer for me, but what else can I do since we aren't married and can't go through divorce proceedings? I said I would pay my part of the mortgage while my name is on there and we aren't together so that I always know that I have my house. If he has his new girl move in, could I charge her rent as a contribution towards my half of the mortgage since she would be living in my half?

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  1. Kick him out and get a roommate to help pay the mortgage.  If the house is in your name and you leave but you keep "helping with the mortgage" you can guarantee you will come back to a house with holes punched in the walls and puddles of pet messes that were never cleaned out of the carpet and burn marks in the countertops and broken pipes that were never fixed.

    I am really hoping you didn't put his name on the house, too.  If the house is in both your names, even though you weren't married yet, then you have a real mess.  I'm sure you have already figured out what a bad idea it was to buy a house together without being protected legally by a marriage.

    But if you owe $25,000 more on the mortgage than the house is worth, definitely take him up on his offer to buy out your half for $1.  That's like him giving you a $12,500 gift.  Probably more like a $17,000 gift once you figure in the costs you would have from selling the house on the open market.

    If you put the house on the market and split things between the two of you, make sure you draw something up on paper describing how you are going to split up the sale.  Otherwise you can guarantee he will stick you with all the costs.  He has already proven that he is dishonest and that when he agrees to things he will change his mind later and not honor the commitments he made.  Don't put yourself in any position where you have to trust him to take care of anything.

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