What can I do to convince a teenager that she shouldn't get pregnant now?

Question

My mom and I are both afraid that my step sister is going to become pregnant (on purpose) soon. She's told us both multiple times that she wants a baby and nothing we've said has convinced her to wait. She's 16 with no income, no place to stay, no way to raise a child properly.

I don't want to see another child born into a horrible situation for selfish reasons, especially if I could have prevented it. She doesn't realize that taking care of a child is far beyond just changing diapers and feeding it; that it doesn't just develop on it's own.

Also, she doesn't have goals ahead of her. She's not afraid of ruining her career or something because she doesn't know what she wants to be yet, she only sees being a mom in her future. I've told her all of this but it's only lead to arguments. What can I do?

Answer 1

I don't know if theres anywhere you can do this from but if you could rent one of those mechanical babies that might make her change her mind. We had to have them for 3 days in grade 12 and it was horrible. Especially if you get it set on a harder setting like colicy or just fussy. It will wake her up in the middle of the night, and trust me i doubt she will be a very happy camper by the end of the experience. Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

Give her long term birth control (like depo provera- that would be the shot) and do everything you can to keep an opportunity where she could have s*x from coming up, by any (legal) means necessary. If she doesn't like the "invasion of privacy" tell her that having a kid won't help that go away any.

*AMBER~*

Answer 3

Tell her that she can't just drop a baby some were and leave it and if she does she will go to jail for a long time. She has to be with a baby constantly.

Answer 4

do you know anyone (friend of a friend or something) that had a child young and struggled financially to raise it? maybe if she talks to someone who experienced it first hand they can tell her its not as easy as she thinks

Answer 5

let her know that without goals, a job. a place to stay. a stable income, and the fact that she is not psychologically ready, chance that she will lose her baby to children's aid are very high.

I had a baby when i was 16 and thought i was ready..boy was i in for a surprise. my mom took care of this baby full time while i tried to finish school and i took care of her after school..EVERYDAY..i was not mentally ready and broke down..had a lot of emotional distress, could not go out like a normal teen. and boyfriends did not last because nobody wanted to date a teen with baby. finally after almost 2 yrs of my resenting the baby because i had to sacrifice ..yes this is the word ..my teens..my mom decided to put the baby up for adoption..and even after i was babyfree in my early twenties i was dumped left and right by guys because i was judged!..and luckily for me family members adopted her so we still have contact but she doesn't know who i really am..now i am 32 and have a 4 month old son..and these past months i have learned a lot about motherhood..firstly, you must have a certain kind of emotional stability, and self esteem and be able to love oneself before caring for another human being. when you are a teen and an adolescent..you are still discovering who you are and those around you!

being a mother requires a lot of patience and persistence and determination..qualities that come with experience..in hindsight..at 16 even with a baby..it was all about me..now at 32 with a baby..its all about my baby and the sacrifices i HAPPILY make without any expectations..his smile and his cooing lights up my heart but back then everything felt like an obligation..i believe that one needs to be able to experience a little of life, the good and the bad before being able to bring another human being into the world to share all these wonderful experiences with!..a wise man once told me that he knew he was a happy person when he woke up each morning and looked in the mirror and had no regrets of his choices yesterday..make sure that your sister will have no regrets!! good luck!

Answer 6

give her a stimulated baby and put her out for a weekend and let her she what's it like to have a baby! do not give her any money.. and get people u know ( that she doesnt knoe0 to mess with her! trust me she would not want a baby after that experiance.

Answer 7

set her up with some of your/her older friends who have problem children. tell her that if she really wants to have a kid that she should, but maybe take it for a test run first by watching these kids for a while. tell that no matter what she does you and your family will be supportive, you just don't want her to rush into things.

Answer 8

It would be great to have her spend some time baby-sitting...with NO help. If anyone you know might have a baby that's teething or high energy, that would be perfect. She'll quickly realize that being a mom isn't all glamorous like might think it is. Maybe see if you can get one of those educational childbirth videos too. The kinds with the complicated labors and deliveries, and of course graphic. I know it sounds awful, but maybe seeing how painful the birthing process can be, and seeing some of the complications that could occur would make her think twice about getting pregnant anytime soon.

Answer 9

Take her to the Maury show! I guess put her on birth control (depo, IUD, something long lasting that you can make sure that she is receiving) Normally girls like your step sister wont change their mind unless they have a life altering situation.

Answer 10

Tell her that you're not taking care of the baby when she goes to school.

And if she wants to take the baby to school, then she'll have to wipe it's *** right there in front of all the girls in the bathroom. Or if she wants to drop out, she'll really be in deep **** later on.

Tell her that you're not going to put up with her ****, and if she still wants a baby, let her and kick her out.

Then when she's all struggling and on welfare, just tell her "You got what you ******* wanted."

Answer 11

I would have your mom explain to her that when she has a baby that she is responsible to take care of it including paying for everything the baby needs.  Also a babysitting job with a young baby would be a great lesson.  Although it is still hard for peopel to imagine having that baby 24-7.  Maybe find a book that really goes through some of the things you should prepare for before you have a child and all the work involved, may help a little.  Other than that I really don't know.  Some kids just get it in their heads and don't let it go.

Answer 12

one thing you can do is keep her away from whoever she plans to have this baby with and talk to her about all the things mothers do. Also, get her into a babysitting career so that she can actually work with young children to see how much work it can be. Let her experience it, because i know once I did I totally changed my mind about wanting to be pregnant.

Answer 13

i'd have to say definitely do not have her "work at some place involving working with children" or w/e because it might backfire and make her want a kid even more. have her talk to women that got pregnant at such an early age about how they struggled and how it ruined relationships, education, career opportunities, etc. i hope this helps. umm also explain to her how this would affect her life in every aspect and how she will regret missing out on her youth.

Answer 14

have her work at some place involving working with children, then shell relize how hard little children can be

Answer 15

Do you know anyone with a very young child?  If so, could it be arranged for her to spend quite a bit of time caring for that child?

I took care of my nieces and nephews from a young age (from 11 years old) and it definitely made me realize that babies/children are a LOT of work!

Good luck, and its wonderful that you are trying to help your sister!

Answer 16

well..if she has a supportive boyfriend (or possible husband) that can take care of the bills while she stays home and watches the baby then let her have her dream!

taking care of the baby isn't really the hard part ..the hard part is making ends meet on top of all of that!!

(she probably doesn't realize that she is going to miss out on graduating..going to college and all those parties..starting a career..and being able to go out on weekends with friends.)  if she is cool without all of that..then let her be.

i would ask her about financial stuff first..is she able to afford everything that comes along with a kid? (or possibly..is her bf able to afford it all)? cause having a kid isn't as enjoyable when u got bills to worry about.

maybe she needs a little bit of knowing what responsibility  is(such as paying for her own car..insurance..rent..utlities..food..ga... still have extra spending for a child) after she starts paying that on her own..she will then realize the importance of having money b4 having a child.

Answer 17

just tell her that she has her whole life ahead of her to have a baby. i'm sure you've probably already told her all this.

tell her all the weird thinsg that happen to your body when you're pregnant, how much it hurts to have a baby, and how she may regret it when she has the baby.

Answer 18

Have her be around a child or baby for a day, and she'll realize that it i shard work and she'll be happy to give the baby back at the end of the day. I became a mom at 18 and it was and still is extremely hard, and I am a single mom and wow, it's takes a toll on you emotionally. I agree that it would suck to have a baby born in those circumstances, so I think something has to get done, maybe have her see a doctor or psychologist so they can see if she just wants a baby so that she can love someone...it's a possibility , that maybe she wants ehr future baby to love her..I got a degree in psychology so I think she needs professional help. If you need more info, feel free to email me