What can I do to deal with an 8yr old daughter that is acting like a teenager?

Question

I need help. I am a stay at home mom and have been for 4years now. I have been working with my kids and my daughter in the last year acts like a teenager. She is backmouthing immediately, refusing to mind...I get through the day trying my hardest to respond correctly...by the end of the day I am ready to run away from the house and in the process I have raised my voice w/her(of course that is all my husband sees). That is what I typically do as soon as my husband gets home. I have tried biblical, I have tried to get her to help me and she starts out fine and then flat out refuses, I am ready for summer to be over. PS with everyone else who knows her..."she is an angel" HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

unless shes tring to get a boyfriend or something teenagerish you shouldnt say shes acting like a teenager becuase not all teenagers are bad!

Answer 2

You need a vacation away from your kid and husband...let your husband take responsibility 24/7 for a week and take a break

p.s ..get a nanny cam , so your husband can see what is really going on

Answer 3

If she acts up, take away her tv and stuff.

Answer 4

Guess what?  She has entered puberty.  It isn't impossible for an 8 year old to enter puberty and no, kids are not entering puberty earlier these days.  I was 9 and that was in the early 70s, I have a cousin who was 7 and that was in the 60s.  The difference is that there are more people on the planet these days so of course there will be more younger children hitting puberty.  You can't treat your children according to the way you were at their age, they are not you.

Answer 5

i'm so sorry for what you are going through!!  my daughter is turning 8 in september and has exhibited some of the same problems!  we have taken away shows like hannah montana and camp rock, as they seem to be where she is getting most of her ideas.  look at the things in her world - all of their favorite toys and tv shows are centered around being in high school, and so they are trying to emulate that! and don't even get me started on libby lu!  i don't mind girls dressing up and having fun, but some of them are taking it to such an extreme level that seems inappropriate for their age.  so, i have started buying my daughter littlest pet shop, as that seems to be her favorite toy that isn't associated with high school.  it seems harsh, but we do not allow her to have any hannah montana barbies, clothes, etc.  i also watch what she wears very closely - she is only allowed to wear things suitable to her age - so no mini skirts, bikinis, low cut tops, halters, etc.  it seems harsh, but it does help keep her in check.  i believe our daughters should be able to be kids, and not worry about being a teenager quite yet.  my daughter also suffers from attachment disorder, which is why we are so strict on this type of thing.  anyways, one thing that does work is when she starts acting like she's older, i tell her she is 7, not 18, and if she doesn't start acting like my 7 year old daughter then we are stopping whatever activity we are doing.  she typically pulls it together, otherwise something gets taken away.  ex. she acts weird when she puts on her swimming suit, like she's an adult or something, and i tell her she's 7 not 22 and if it doesn't stop we're done.  and if it doesn't immediately stop then we are done swimming, and she immediately changes into regular clothes.  i've had to stop giving her numerous chances to get something done - she needs to know i mean business the first time.

does your daughter respond to rewards systems?  mine doesn't at all (i wish she did) but you could start a reward chart and she could work towards something that she really wants.

good luck, i know how frustrating this is for you!  stay strong!

Answer 6

If she doesn't treat you with respect then ignor her until she can be more polite. If she asks for something in a rude manner, just pretend you didn't hear her until she says please and thank you. It worked with my nephew!

Answer 7

show her what teenagers REALLY go through. the teasing at school, the shape the body becomes, the pimples, the responsibilities, everything. try treating like an older kid. she wants to stay up late, fine, but make her get up early as well. give her more chores, without reward. talk to her about adult subjects, ones she won't have answers to. give her a small allowance, then make her pay for her phone (this is all for show, but she is not to know that) sometimes reverse psychology works better than anything. if she wants to have a party - invite some older kids ( just a few) ones that she will think want to hang out with her. when they don't, she might see things differently. put the reality to her, use your common sense on certain things, but maybe this will help.

Answer 8

Consistently and soundly spank her EVERY time she acts out and make it VERY clear to her that this will happen EVERY time she acts out.  No kid wants a sore butt.  If it is clear why she is being spanked and what kind of behavior will earn her one than she will soon learn to behave.  You could also compliment this with praise whenever she displays positive behavior.

Answer 9

Take her party away for sure! She's a brat if she's acting like that. Teach her a lesson. I know, it's veeeeery hard!

Answer 10

Don't let her do anything if it means not hanging out with friends or not attending a school game & when shopping, just don't buy her anything.

Let her know your her MOTHER and not her punk FRIEND and she WILL treat you with RESPECT.

(Alot of parents send their kids to bootcamp) If she is just a flat out brat, it might not be a bad idea, I bet she will come home will a whole new outlook on things!

Answer 11

uh! not all teens act like that!!! im WAY better behaved!

Answer 12

Treat her how you would a teenager- ground her. Until she changes her attitude, why should she have this and that? Take away her priviliges and make her earn them back by behaving properly.

Good luck

Answer 13

ok, well what u need 2 do (and im serious, im 15) ok look what u need 2 do is give them a spanking and tell her y she's getting it. 1st warn her, and tell her the consequences if she does it again. or let her b around kids her age, and make sure shes not watching anything grown up.  u dont want her 2 grow up being too mature, and having s*x and stuff. so do that, or whip her. it will teach her not 2 do it again. (i promise), dont take stuff away or it will make her act worst, so just do that.  and tell her if shes nice she can have something. (toys, happy meals, or ice cream) reward her 4 being nice, and punish her 4 being bad.

GOOD LUCK.

Answer 14

okay well I mean she really crossed the line. Threaten her and at the first "so, I don't care, and?" Go smack her ***! She might not respect you b/c she isn't scared of you. Truthfully respect isn't respect it's fear of someone else. Try working out or getting into really good shape. then I swaer to god she will "respect" you. Also try what others suggested. My LAST resort would we boot-camp but thats only if you seriusly cannot control her. Before taking her there warn her at least three times and tell her she only gets three. If you wanna know why she doesn't act like that in front of your husband it's b/c she fears him. Try getting her new friends as the ones she has now are teaching her $hit.

Answer 15

you get to the bottom of the problem

hers..  

spank that a$$

Answer 16

My goodness we have the same child I think.  My 7 y/o (who will be 8 on the 18th) is doing the same thing.  Back talking, bad attitude, not listening, doing things she knows is wrong and no matter what we do (taking away toys, dessert, tv) she seems to get over it immeadiatly!

I have wondered about the bday as well.  How do I give her a party and gifts when I am no angry with her behavior?  My mother told me I cant not celebrate her bday and the party is planned to canceling it will be out of the question.

At this oint, her gifts will be very humble and items she more or less needs then wants.  The DS went back to the toy store last week after throwing several fits and lying!

I am not sure what to do but hearing you go through the same makes me think its a stage and the age.  Luky us, they are getting older!

You ever need some mom talk send me an email!  Maybe we can figure them out together!

Answer 17

Im like that right know, Im 10 years old and really sarcastic, my family got used to that quick, also it is normal for a kid to start to repel from their parents, you cant stay a mommys girl forever, she is just going through a fase of growing up.

Get used to that, and accept her for who she is!

Answer 18

Let her keep acting that way and get it on video tape and show her what she acts like cuz most kids dont know what there saying to there parents unless they hear it for them selfs! U could also try saying like someother kid is being bad at your childs school and has to be grounded for 3 monthes and that might scare her so she wil act better!

Answer 19

spanking...

Answer 20

she needs an old fashioned *** kicking it worked for my daughters i think its a girl thing and you let her get away with disrespecting you thats why she does it spank her take her S***e away and she will learn quick whos boss good luck ps........ thats the problem you threaten her DO IT!!! take the party away it will p**s her off but she will learn sometimes you have to be a mother  instead of a friend to teach them lessons!!!!!!