What can I do to feel better about returning to work?

Question

Please help! I went on maternity leave in January and had my baby in February, then my partner lost his job as he had to support me and our baby, I needed a blood transfusion a week after giving birth then I had post natal depression, I have suffered from an anxiety disorder since I was 18 (im now 27) We get tax credits every month and I get paid 50% of my salary as is normal with maternity pay, my partner doesnt have an income we decided ages ago that I would return to work as I had the better job, its 9-5, easy and its round the corner from my house, meaning I can even come home at lunch time, and I get on well with everyone there, we were finding finances a struggle so I picked a date to go back its next week but now i am absolutely sick with dread about returning, I dont want to leave my baby, its really getting me down, is there any advice you can give me, do you work full time with a baby, thanks! I cant work part time as my employers told me that my job was full time only!

Answer 1

you could try talking to your employers about doing some part time work to start with i.e. going into work for half aday at a time for say 2-3 weeks to get you used to leaving your baby at home.

good luck

Answer 2

Les, I am a "single mom" with a 6 year old son. I have been there so I think I can give you good advice. It may be hard going back at first but I am sure your coworkers will definately give you a warm welcome back, don't worry about that part. Sounds like you have a great husband,so the baby will be fine. I was 19 when I had James (now 26). God helpled me get through it. I have been very ill before,he sent me someone to help with James at that time. I was even laid off before and you know what. I got another job soon enough. James and I are doing just fine and so will you and your family. Remember everything we do is for our kids so do what you have to do. You have a child so if emergencies happen or whatever the job has to understand if you ever had to take off,so stay strong and go clock in those dollars.

P.s. feel free to ask me any more questions that I can help with.

Answer 3

First of all, if you live in England, your employers have to consider part time hours.  They cannot just point blank refuse without good reason.

I work full time (my employers agreed to me starting at 7 and finishing at 2.30).  There is nothing you can do tto make you feel better.  Mums are programmed to feel guilt whatever you do.  All you can do is get on with it and eventually it gets easier.  I have been back 3 mnths now and still miss Jess terribly.  All you have to remember is that it isn't doing your baby any harm, and you feel so much worse than they do about it.

Good luck x

Answer 4

Moving on and getting back to normal life can be difficult after having a baby, but life does have to carry on. I hope you'll find what I did, that your self esteem and confidence will grow once you have made a start, even a small one. Your partner will also have a better chance than most to build a bond with the baby. All in all it looks to me as if you'll all be fine. Follow the advice re flexible working and talk to your employer about it. Above all try not to let the words"difficult" and "problem" haunt you , where there's a will there's an answer. Lots of love and best of luck.

Answer 5

You have the legal right to apply for flexible working - perhaps a trip to Citizens Advice to talk to someone about your rights would set your mind at rest.

Answer 6

Discuss it with your doctor, because you had post natal depression you should be able to go back to work gradually on full pay, I am in the same possition although I'm now on the sick with postnatal depression, I will be returning to work on this basis, my job is the same, its full time or nothing but Im hopeing after this my doctor may be able to help me go to part time.

Although you have the right to apply for flexible working it dosent mean you will get it!  I am on flexi time and that is as flexible as they are willing to get!

Answer 7

Get on medicine for your depression, suck it up and go.  Sorry to be so blunt, but you have to do what you have to do for your family.  It sucks going back to work!  I did it three times now after each of my kids.  It only gets harder.  You just have to make yourself do it and believe it or not, eventually it does get a little bit easier.  Still sucks though.

Answer 8

I understand your dilemma completely, returning to work is hard especially after your first child.  With regards to working part time you are legally correct in asking for flexible working hours and if you put it into writing your employer has an obligation to consider your request and have a valid reason should it be declined, even suggest a job share type role & then they would only need to advertise for a p/t person should this be required.  Also you may be able to reduce your hours from 10:30 - 15:30 (eg) if you can complete your workload within that timeframe.  There are lots of different options out there.

With my first born I took a full year off and then returned to my job on a part time basis - 3 days rather than 5 & by the time I returned I was expecting again.  After my second I also returned & changed my hours again only working 5 hours per day.  My role was initially full time only as well.

I would advise you to seek professional advice on this maybe from citiozens advise or another option is to return to your workplace for 12 weeks whilst looking for a more suitable part time position as that way you do not have to pay back any of your mat pay and reducing your hours to p/t will be made up with your tax credits.  Have you informed TC that your husband is now unemployed as you may be entitled to a one off top up??

Also if your husband is going to look after bubba whilst you are at work then you dont have the added worry of finding suitable childcare.

Good luck & I hope it all works out for you. x