What can I do to have my husband plan more dates for us, I need more fun?

Question

HI I really need more adult conversation in my life lately, Taking care of my 15 month old all by myself and having my husband come home tired and off to the gym really doesn't leave much time for us to talk, don't get me wrong our s*x life is great and we connect at night, but I feel like I need to get pampered more and I don't know how to get the message across with out adding more to his plate. we spend the weekends as a family, usually with his family which is stressful for me since I know they don't like me to much, I try to not let that bother me. he is solely responsible for them since his father passed away when he was young. Help me get more time to us!

Thanks.

Answer 1

Him going to the gym and letting you "man the fort" all the time is a mistake. If he went to the gym early in the morning (before work) and devoted his after work time to you and your baby...instead of himself (sounds pretty selfish actually)...things might get better. You need to sit him down and talk...He's missing out on raising his kid...and looking after his wife. Sounds like a "Me Generation" thing...He needs to be spending time with you and the kid...not trying to be Arnold in your prime time.

Take Care (by the way...that's what I do)...If I don't take everyone to the beach (surfing)...I don't go. If I do my 20 mile cycle in the mountains...its before people wake up in the weekend.

Answer 2

quit putting out, till he takes you out. Let him know that you still need to be buttered up, and you are not just his s*x doll when he wants some. he seems to have plenty of time for himself if he is going to a gym to workout. so he should be able to make time for you. If he is interested.

Answer 3

I use to be in your shoes.  I would actually look pathetic when an adult person came over because I had no interaction with others.  You need to find a hobby.  You need time by yourself as well very very healthy while he tends to the baby.  You need to tell him to have his family over less so the three of you can enjoy some family time alone.  It didn't work out with my first marriage thank God and now I am a happier person.  

Answer 4

Just like your 1st answer....  you make the plans - tell him when and where!  Yes, we do have to give more to get more... It's life!  

Answer 5

i feel the same . and worst no matter what i do hubby said he is either too tired or he doesnt want ot go out so this is a question i really like . not that i have any answers but thank you  

Answer 6

You should schedule a date night at least once a week.  Maybe you could take your child to his family to baby sit on Fridays while he is still at work, be waiting for him with plans made already, looking hot and just say I have a fun evening planned.  Think of something that would be fun for the both of you. Preferably without either of your friends or family.  Alone time.  Make it for the enitre night so you come home alone.

Answer 7

get a babysitter. me and my hubby go play pool, we drink and have a great time. i wear a low cut shirt and bend over the pocket he is trying to put the 8ball in to increase my chances of winning.. the night always ends great

Answer 8

This is an easy one:

1.  Tell him what you just told us, and ask him for what you need.

2.  If he doesn't do it, stop having s*x with him.  m********e a lot and make up excuses why you're not in the mood.  Do this for months.  Eventually he'll start to get upset and try all kinds of tactics; ignore him, even if you're worried he'll get violent or leave you, cheat, etc. you must ignore him.  If he ever figures out to just ask you if there is anything he could do for you, then tell him again.

3.  If he still doesn't do it, repeat #2 as needed.

This is what my wife does; however she also goes further and stops talking to me as well, which pis*ses me off incredibly, but it works.    

Answer 9

You do need time to be by yourself, and if he is too busy or tired, to arrange a night out, with a good babysitter and all. Then it's up to you.

Pick a day late in the week, like Thursday or Friday.  Think of what you want to do. Take in a movie, perhaps with dinner too. So no cooking or cleaning that night for you.

With all his pressures, too, I'm sure he'd love some alone time, seeing he has to take care of his family as well as you and your baby.

That's a bit much to ask of anyone. Being a caretaker isn't easy, and they need a break, just as much  as you do. Talk it over with him,  it doesn't have to be anything real special, just as long as you are together and no issues to deal with,except what movie to see or food to order.

Answer 10

Do the planning yourself.

How can you go out more and still take care of a 15 month old?

Answer 11

why does he have to plan the dates? why can't you plan some dates for the 2 of you?

Answer 12

Why don't YOU plan some of the dates?  You can't just expect the other person to do this and will have to take some kind of initiative.