What can I do to help my son get his life back on track?

Question

I have a 16 year old son that runs with the wrong crowd

I have moved out of the area where all of his friends were

to give him a fresh start. And now he is hanging around

kids that smoke weed and drink liquor. I put him in a program

and he passed it with flying colors and now hes doing the same thing all over again. please help!!! I dont want to lose my young black male.

Answer 1

i still hang with the wrong crowd and i'm not to shanny of a person. not saying that you should let him. my parents found out that i was smoking and drinking and they grounded me for life. i noe i'z jus a kid but have a talk with him and tell him how much you love him and make him realize the position he's putting you in and how it puts a strain on your relationship together. make sure you don't raise your voice at him because as soon as you do that kids stop listening and caring. fo r without a struggle there can be no progress.

Answer 2

My girlfriend had the same problem and well I am white and she is black but I don't think race is an issue. I would like all of our young men to become successful and take pride in themselves. Okay so here is what happened. She started out the same, he was running with the wrong crowd. She packed them up and moved them to another town. His father was not involved because he was killed in Iraq people so don't ask where the father was. I gues being a military life gave her some ideas/ He had actually run into a small problem with the law and had to enter a boot camp type program. Came out great, top of his class actually, proved to be quite the leader. But once he got home he hit that slump again. SO, his mom removed every bit of entertainment technology from his room. He was seriously left with his bed a set of sheets a table lamp, dresser and dirty clothes hamper. She removed all phones in the house placing on in the kitchen that hung on the wall and was corded. So that he could not talk to anyone without her overhearing it. She also removed his clothes and left him with 4 pair of underwear, four pair of khaki pants (that fit him and would not slip down his butt),  four white undershirts, oxfords and a 2 ties. This was his wardrobe. She made him launder and iron all his clothes. He had no car privilidges she would take him to school and pick him up afterwards. She had worked out a job for him through her boss and after school he spent time in the mailroom stamping letters and any odd jobs around the office. Now for every month they had a goal for him to achieve and everytime he achieved it he would get a prize but none of the technical stuff or phones until much later. This ran his whole junior and half his year. But let me tell you he graduated high school with honors and is now attending Cornell in New York. We are very proud of him and he loves his mom for forcing him to behave.

Answer 3

How about grounding him and  not allowing him to hang around the wrong crowd.  It's not going to be easy and it will take more than one day, but if you set rules for him, enforce them, and punish him when they are broken, you will see a difference.

Answer 4

you could ask the police to help you. have the police fake arrest him on the charge of possesion of illegal substances or something. even if he is not doing theese things, it would prove that the crowd he hangs with influences the things that happen to him. this may set him strait. well i hope this helps  ^ j,^

Answer 5

The first remark about his father being a part of his life was uncalled for...

Anyway, you may want to have a system of rewards for him.  I'm sure that as any parent these days, you are very generous with your son.  But perhaps he should "earn" those points with good scores.  Also take him to see some adults who have succeeded in life and have them talk to him.  You can also have him talk to other people who have not worked as hard in school and are living to regret it.  Show your son the lifestyle of people who are successful who live in nice homes, in good neighborhoods and drive good cars.  Also show him how people who didn't work as hard in school are now struggling...  It's really hard and annoying to have to study.  But what's harder and more annoying is not making enough money, having bad healthcare or not any, etc.  Good luck!!!

Answer 6

kick his a$$

Answer 7

Have the father be involved in his life.

Answer 8

i think your husband should be getting a good grip on him...when i was going down the wrong path my dad took me and set me aside and told me the right way to do things.....

Answer 9

This is really hard.  I am 22 and I was in to that crowd when I was his age.  My parents knew that I was up to no good, but for some reason didn't take any action against it.  My father excommunicated me, spoke to me as little as possible, and they stopped paying for my things (clothes, food, etc.) If this happened to me I would try to send him to a boarding school or have him talk to a psychologist or go to a drug rehab...get it early before it starts getting out of hand