What can I do to lessen the pain of losing a pet?

Question

My 7 year old daughter had a pet mouse...until yesterday that is. The mouse was getting really old but, my daughter still played with her everyday. Yesterday, when she had her out for her usual playtime the mouse passed away...in her hand.

My daughter was screaming and crying, I thought she had hurt herself until I realized that she was screaming "She's dead Mommy!" So, I sent her out of the room and checked. Sure enough, the mouse had passed away.

My daughter was 100% convinced that she had done something to cause the death of her mouse until I explained that she was just getting old. Now my little one is having a hard time eating because she says she always thinks about how her mousie felt dead in her hands and she isn't hungry anymore.

We are going to have a funeral for mousie this weekend and her father promised to buy our daughter two new mice (which helped cheer her up a bit) but, what else can I do to help her feel better? She is so sad and it makes my heart break.

Thanks!

Answer 1

Just talk to her and listen.  Children are very resilant.  The funeral will help.  Maybe let her help make the coffin out of a cardboard box or maybe a cross out of twigs to mark the grave.

Answer 2

whatever you do, don't replace it until your daughter gets over it. Maybe you can take her out for a special treat like go see a movie, get her a new toy, or let her have a sleepover. I hope I've helped!

Answer 3

Only time will be the cure.  She'll be fine by next week.

Answer 4

Time will ease her pain. I would ask her if she wanted a new pet. She might not or you may not want another one. Children become attached to pets, beleive me I know first hand. My nine year old daughter was attached to our dauschand dog. We had her since Madison was born. She got ran over last month, and it was hard on all of us especially Madison. It took a while but she got over it. You have it to give it time, thats the main thing

Answer 5

As a former vet tech and a parent, I'd say not to get a new pet until a little more time has passed. Pets teach us how to grieve. I'm sure you've heard of the stages of grief, she needs to go through them. Getting her new mice right away may temporarily help, but will stunt her healthy grieving process in the long run, I've seen it happen. We have always had a lot of animals and my daughter is 7 also. We have lost a few and the last one was particularly hard because of the awful circumstances. Your heart breaks for your kids, but you are helping her develop a skill she will undoubtedly need in life. She just needs to go through this, you can't cure normal.

Answer 6

though sad, kids losing pets is the beggining of understanding death. Let her grieve, have your funeral and in a couple of days she will be fine. Kids bounce back quite well. We have lost several animals and it has actually helped for when my children's great nanna died. They understood death and we had talked it through. She will be okay I promise

Answer 7

Seeing as mice and other similar rodents (gerbils, hamsters) have very short life expectancies I wouldn't suggest getting another animal of that nature.  They only live about 2-3 years (some live quite a bit longer, but others live very short lives).

Maybe you could get her a bigger animal, like a guinea pig or a rabbit.  Or maybe even a kitten, turtle or dog.  I'd be wary on the guinea pig and the rabbit though, both tend to be skittish and bite unawares.  And they have very sharp teeth.

Getting her another pet may not ease the pain though.  You need to explain to your daughter that sometimes, even though we love them very much, pets leave us.  

This is a good chance to explain the concept of moving on (or Heaven, depending on your religious structure) and how it's a wonderful place where they don't feel pain and are always happy.  Tell her that mousie knew how much she loved her by playing with her all day, and the greatest joy to mousie would be to pass on while in the arms of her favorite companion.

You need to explain that it was the mouse's time to go and she wanted to stay, but she decided to wait until her friend was near and that she had nothing to do with 'killing' her.

Answer 8

Sorry that you daughter is taking it hard. I think you're right to have a small ceremony for the pet. It will give her closure. Let her know that she can talk about her feelings at any time. I would not just buy her another pet. Let her make that decision when she's ready to.

Answer 9

Get her a new pet!Seriously!That is the only way she will forget!Get her a new pet of her choice!Maybe a hampster!

Answer 10

oh my i am sooo sorry for your daughter that must be haertrenching! ok i was like six and my kitten got hit by a car, what i did was cry and try to do lots of activities to keep my mind off mittens, then i got a new kitten and sure enuf he ran away on CHRISTMAS EVE, that was the worst christmas ever, so that time i just talked about it and that felt better, sorry there really isnt much you can do! but i suggest lots of hugs! as for the whole eating thing, she will start eating again soon dont worry she just lost her appitiet from having her pet die in her hands, once again so srry!

britt