What can I do to make this feeling go away?

Question

My aunt, whom I have been living with since i was 4 (im now 15), has been acting like a total ***** to me since she woke up yesterday morning and i dont know what i did to make her act that way towards me. i cant explain how exactly she's been acting but its just the the bitchy vibe that i get and i wish that there was something that i could do to make the feeling of rage and depression go away. i am mad because i just wish shed stop acting like that and just ***** tell what the h**l i did to ******* deserve this and i am depressed because i am tired of feeling this way. with her, if its not one thing its another. i just want this feeling to go away. alot of people say that childhood only lasts so long but dang it she makes me want to just kill myself. i think that i do mean it when i say that i wish she'd just drop dead because im tired of this. its like a freakin emotional rollercoaster in this house. one minute were all happy and **** and the next minute i feel like this. i just wanna get out. i want to be successful and pay her off...for skool and all this **** she calls "love"...$50K should cover it, right? its not like she gave me life or anything. i just dont know what to do. there are other people that i could talk to, but i just dont want to. ive been crying so much that i nearly threw up. i am home alone and i want this feeling to go away. any suggestions as for what to do? i just want this feeling to go away. if it wasnt a sin, i would kill myself...i know that there are other sins that i have committed but if i do that one, then i wont be able to ask for forgiveness because id be dead

Answer 1

Guess what? You're 15. No matter what, you're going to be riding an emotional roller coaster. And your aunt, I'm sure she does love you. You don't just put up a child in your house, feed it and clothe it, ESPECIALLY if it isn't your child unless you love it. I know, its hard right now, but believe me, this is what being a teenager is all about. You're supposed to want to get away. That's what makes children ready to leave their parents. As well, you have to realize, your aunt is only human. She's allowed to have her bitchy days. Raising a child isn't all sun shine and rainbows ya know. Raising a hormonal teenager is significantly more stressful. Just give her her space and realize she does love you. Keep your chin up and hang in there. There is no problem big enough that suicide should be the way out. Do you really want those you love to have your death on their conscience? Do you have any idea what that would do to them? I'm not trying to be mean, I just want you to realize, you are loved.