What can I do to prepare my 3 year old MONSTER for preschool?

Question

Hi all! I have a 3 1/2 year old little girl. She is an only child, and has stayed at home with me all of her life. We unfortunately are a one car family, and her father works long hours, so we are at home everyday. She has never had interaction with large groups of children, never been to daycare, etc. I am worried she will not be ready for such a big life change like preschool. she is very intelligent, but very head strong. she wants what she wants and will not stop till she has it her way! I have tried very hard to explain to her, and teach her all the things she will need in order to do well in school. she is not intrested at all. she will tell me... mommy i dont want to go to school! what can i do to get her excited about being a big girl, and starting school? she is the center of attention at home, so im sure it will not be an easy transition having to enter this new phase of life without mommy being there. I am trying to be optomistic, but i can see this turning into a disaster!

Answer 1

I have a three year old little boy, and in a very similar situation. He is a monster!!!!!! Never spent one day in daycare. So I don't know (sorry) but i fyou get any ideas, I sure would like to know. Thanks and good luck.

Answer 2

This is something that I'll throw out to you - do you have a local mommy and me group in the area? It's really importatnt to get her involved in age appropriate activites with other kids her age, she'll learn to share, wait her turn, follow directions within a group and how to be social.  She'll make friends that live in the area that are her age that could be attending the same preschool and therefore, by making friends, she'll look forward to seeing her friends in school.

I ask about the mommy and me group because I was in one when I first moved to my new home, we met at the park that was four blocks from my house every Friday and once a month we went to the movies or met at someone's house for a pool party, everyone who had a car, didn't have a problem picking up the moms and kids who didn't.  It became a community thing, a woman thing, an important involvement where we got to know each other's kids and spouses even.  

Try it!  Look it up in your paper and go to yahoogroups.com and look up mommy and me GA or whatever your state abbreviation is.  Also call some local churches, many churches have playgroups and they have vans that can pick you up.  

Not only will this help your daughter get socially involved but it will help you too as a mom to have other moms to talk to about your concerns and it always helps to have contacts to know what schools in the area are "good" vs "bad".  Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Try visiting the school with her for an hour or two, preferably at snack or circle time.  This way she can see the other children and interact with them while you are there, so she won't feel abandoned.  When it's time to leave she might not want to go!  It's amazing how even a little social interaction can have a positive impact on a 3 year old.  She may even ask when she can come back.

When you do send her to preschool and you start to leave for the first time, she will probably cry and cling, but the teacher will help you by distracting your daughter.  The first few weeks won't be easy for you or her when it comes time for you to go, but tough it out and don't give in to her demands or pleas.  She will learn to cope with separation better if you just leave while she is playing with a toy or another child.

Answer 4

Ask the teacher if you can come in and take pictures of the classroom. It's also great to have pictures of the other children that are going to be there. Make a photo album and look at it with her each day at home. Also, find out the schedule for her preschool and go ahead and start getting her used to their snack/ nap/ meal routines. Getting her body in sync with what will really be going on could prove to be quite helpful. On the day that you drop her off and leave for the first time, make sure that there is a picture of you available for her to look at it. Let her know that the picture is to remind her that you are coming back. I had a child in my class that actually wore the picture of her mommy and daddy as a necklace for the first few weeks. It sounds like going to school isn't something that she is interested in doing, so taking away little bits of the unfamiliarilty should help some. Don't give up during the first week. She will adapt! It might be hard. This may be obvious, but some of my parents seem not to be aware of this one...BE SUPPORTIVE OF HER!!! Let her know when she is crying that it's OK to be sad. Then, let her know options for making herself feel better (ie. look at books, sit on a teacher's lap, if possible, go to a cozy area if she needs some space, draw a picture for mommy or dictate a letter that she can give you when you pick her up). Develop a predictable drop off routine, and make sure that you are consitent each day. It's harder for a child who's parent comes back into the room after they have already said good-bye, so if you hear her crying, clench your jaw, wipe the tears, and keep walking. I promise, it is better on your daughter in the end. Oh...and sometimes this process is harder on mommy than it is on child, so be good to yourself, too. Plan a massage, drink some tea, or spend some time outdoors...whatever you would consider treating yourself. Your daughter will need you to be in good spirits, so make sure that you take care of her mommy!!!

Answer 5

Have a private and frank talk with the teacher and the director of the school about your concerns. Then when you take her there for the first time. Be prepared to leave here there and exit as soon as possible. Like a lot of other children, she may scream and cry, but by the end of the week she will have a new and interesting environment. Don't back down. Pretty soon you'll be wondering why she doesn't want to spend more time at home.

Answer 6

First of all, remember that it is not up to her.  If her parents decide she is going to school, she goes to school.  It's YOUR decision, not hers.  She is playing you a bit, I think.  Know that she will be FINE in preschool.  She will.  I'm a preschool teacher and I've seen this a lot.  You need to be calm and confident and not waiver.  Don't over explain...normalize it...the more you have talks with her about it (especially if you are saying the same things over and over) the more she is getting the upper hand.  Say something once or twice and then try to move on.  Tell her you already talked about it and that you know she may be scared, but that she will be fine.  Don't linger when you drop her off...normalize, normalize, normalize.  

The most important thing a child can learn in preschool, in my opinion, is how to get along with their peers.  She will have a huge advantage on kids in kindergarten who haven't been to preschool.  If you are confident and strong and don't let her be in charge, it will not be a disaster.  If you are over preparing her and letting her dominate the discussions with her fear and controlling behaviors, it will be a disaster.

Answer 7

i would take her to the center she will be going, take her everday for a couple of hours and stay with her, slowly get quieter and leave the room and come back a couple of times(like go to the bathroom) try to get her involved and talk with the other children and teacher. she'll get more comfortable. dont worry you CAN do it. The center shouldnt miind you staying or oming and going, if they dont like surprise visits and you coming to investigate every now and then obviously theres something wrong. but this shoul help her transition easily.