What can I do to punish my 11 year old for acting up?

Question

He's acting up in school, haas an attitude, not finishing assignments, always wanting to "Text Message", hanging with the wrong little boys. IHe wanted me to take him to magic Mountain for his 5th grade graudation and I said I would not take him since he was acting up.....HELP!!! What do I do...I don't want this problem to persist when he goes to middle school.

Answer 1

Well first you should take away the cell phone, take away any gaming systems he has, and don't let him hangout with the bad kids - make the other kids come to your house or meet the other child's parents before you let him go over to their house.   Tell him that you won't take him to Magic Mountain and stick with it.... if he's acting up don't reward him.

Answer 2

In order for taking away stuff to really be effective, the taken stuff must really be valued by the person....therefore a sacrifice to him personally.  Give him more responsibility and make him feel valued for his contributions.  Tell him that with every privilege comes a responsibility.....his not yours.  Young parents these days are so busy trying to make ends meet and are losing focus on what really makes children happy.  I am not preaching because I know....I was found guilty of this from my aunt who babysit for me.  Every Friday I got paid and came in with a toy for my son.  It became taken for granted and usually forgotten in less than 2 days and I had worked lots of hours to earn the money to buy it.  When I stopped, he started to notice and I took time to spend with him at the park or wherever riding bikes and skating with him.  Time is precious to all these days....and our time with our children is limited and soon over.

Answer 3

ok take his phone away but what ever you do do NOT beat him... please...

Answer 4

Take away his privledges (no TV, no cell phone, no PC, etc.). That will teach him. :)

Answer 5

Take things like tv, video games and cell phone unless YOU need him to have it for a certain amount of time then take it back. Stick to your decisions, when you say he will not get something or won't be able to go somewhere mean it and stand by it even if you want to change your mind. I would still give in to my 11 yr old and he knew how to work the system so now I stand firm and after the first rough couple weeks he's definitely gotten better

Answer 6

1. WHIP HIS BUTT!!

2. Take away the text messenger

Answer 7

make him start cutting grass and doing some yard work without giving him any money for it.   make him help you clean house too.  he will be too tired to goof off.

yes, stop this now because it will only get worse, and he will get bigger and stronger then you will have a real problem.

Answer 8

If he is 11 it is in his job description to act up.  Figure out what is important to him.  For instance that cell phone he texts on.  I think 11 is a little young for that anyway, but take it away if you can't get his attention any other way.  Be consistent and don't make false threats.  If you tell him there will be consequences for his actions...FOLLOW THROUGH.  If not he will lose respect for you.  Take heart...he will get better when this puberty thing is over!  Good luck.

Answer 9

First of all WHY does he have a phone especially in class?  As far as his assignments they are HIS responsiblity.  If he dosen't complete them they won't be graded and he will fail.  The world won't come to an end if he does.  He is acting up because he is 11, haven't you ever heard of puberty? I don't think no letting him have a trip that was already promised does any good.  He doesn't NEED a phone to begin with...Who is he going to call...his stock broker?  It is nothing more than a distraction from class.  If YOU purchased it for hi then YOU are to blame when he uses it not him.  When he gets into middle school and doesn't do his school work again, he will fail the classes and be left behind.  I don't often recommend books about raising children however John Rosemond has an excellent book called "Ending the Homework Hassle" that you may find answers your questions.  Just remember at his age HE is responsible for his assignments so it is HIS decision to fail.  Sometimes failure is in itself a lesson.

In answer to your tirade...I AM a single mother of THREE children and NONE of them have cellphones and I CERTAINLY would NOT allow them to take them to school.  My 9 year old and my 11 year olds are responsible for their own schoolwork, if they don't do it they are the ones who will suffer with failure and having to be held back a grade, I won't, I've already been through my 16 years of schooling.  But I would never NOT allow my kids to do something I had already promised them especially if the reason they got into trouble in class is because they were texting on a phone that I had ALLOWED my child to take to school.  Grow up mommy and learn how to PARENT your child.

Answer 10

First of all, if all he wants to do is text message, take away his cell phone (and computer so he can't instant message that way).

He's a bit too old for spanking, but you need to "hit 'em where it hurts".  For an 11-year old, that usually means taking away their cellphone (all phones actually), video games, computer, bicycle/scooter/skateboard, and television.  You could also not allow him to see his friends, especially since he's picking some bad ones right now.

Answer 11

spank him

Answer 12

hes 11 now, it sounds like you should have tried a little better method of punishment as he was growing up. i think its pretty easy to figure out he doesnt NEED to text and hang out with friends and alot of the other junk you ALLOW him to do, youre the parent, so act like one.

Answer 13

you can try gounding him or punish him from certain things

Answer 14

take away his cell phone and if he has a phone in his room unhook it. Ground him and tell him he can't have any friends over.

Answer 15

Take the game consoles, cell phone, etc away from him for two weeks.  I know that might be even a punishment for you but you have to do it.  Also, don't let him go outside to play.  If friends call him, say he can't talk because he is grounded. Have him do house chores everyday.  Summer is right there, tell him his summer is going to be very miserable if he doesn't correct himself.

Answer 16

How about don't punish him?

Instead start a program that rewards him for good behavior.

Let him earn a new video game or something he really wants.

See how fast he'll shape up..

Answer 17

Don't worry. All boys go through this, and little girls (but not the same way). He just sounds like he wants to fit in. Over time he will realize being popular isn't everything and he will mature. In middle school he will meet a lot more children, and most likely not hang out with the same group of guys. He might find some better friends to hang around with. If he has an attitude than you should take his text messaging away. Or explain to him that you don't like it when he says things like that towards you, but don't yell at him just calmly tell him. And if he wants to go to magic mountain tell him his grades need to improve which would help with him not finishing assignments. Try to award him for doing good things or if that doesn't work take away things when he is bad. Just don't give in! Stay strong and persistent about it.  But always make sure he knows that you love him.

Good Luck!

Answer 18

Take him back to the old days. Beat that ***.

Answer 19

My eleven year old brother, Kyle was constantly getting into trouble, my sister Yvette and I acted as if he did not exist. he then came up to us and we talked it ALL out it. All he wanted was to fit in and be liked. Now he gets almost no detentions or suspensions. And hangs out with a group of guys and girls who don't get into trouble.

Answer 20

My son will be 11 soon and I take away the things he likes or he can not go outside and play. Maybe you can try taking his phone privileges away.