What can I do to stop my little cousin from getting pregnant at 18 when she wants to? How do I get through to

Question

her? My Cousin is 18 and she has never worked, has a lisience but no car, graduated high school in June but sence has no plans to go any further. She lives in the Projects but there nicer ones in a small town and most people that live there still work somewhere, but her parents dont and never have, there on disability. She doesn't know how to cook, clean, do laundry nothing. She has a boyfriend who works but has no eduacation and they started having s*x. The boyfriend is very disrespectful to her parents and has gotten in her mothers face, she has a absolutly horrible spoiled brat attitude and when the mother tryes to stop her from seeing him she runs away to live with him. The mother tryed to get her on the pill but after recently looking at her computer the mother saw IM's between the boyfriend and my cousin saying she wasn't going to take the pill and all about getting pregnant and stuff! I've talked to her, screamed at her, everything possible besides a good punch in the face. My aunts calling me daily crying and I dont know how to help. She is about to ruin her life and she thinks its a game and thats how shell be able to stay home and do nothing! Please any advise would be appreciated=(

Answer 1

IT IS HER CHOICE, SHE HAS BEEN AN ADULT FOR TWO YEARS, BUT OUT!

Answer 2

Wow i can understand your frustration. I think your whole family need to have an intervention where you all get everything off your chest calmly. She needs something to get her teeth into so she should get a job, go traveling or do something productive with her time.  

Answer 3

I think she should try living out on her own. And see if she could sustain herself. When she realizes she can't even afford toilet paper for herself, shes going to come back running.

Answer 4

I cant imagine the frustration you and your family must have, especially if you have kids of your own, you know the responsibility and selflessness that goes into raising a child. It's going to take consistent intervention and a positive role model to change her heart and mind, t only about having a kid, but about staying in an abusive relationship. She needs to be around responsible, loving friends that can show her she is worth more than what she's giving herself. Are you willing to invest in her? What about your friends? Do you feel comfortable with her hanging out with you guys? Get her out of that enviroment!!!! I think the only thing you can do is continue to love her, unconditionally. You can share your heart with her, but if she chooses not to listen, then let the cards unfold. You cant force someone to listen to you, and heed your advice (unfortuanantly). Your cousin will grown up once she's forced to, unless everyone continues to baby her to eery extreme. Advice for your aunt: Make her do her own laundry!!

Answer 5

Tell her i got pregnant at 17 and had a baby.

I lived in council housing for 15mnths, i then LUCKILY, honest to god, won the lottery believe it or not! I then moved into a very small house, got back together with her father, he had been studying, he made us a living, i studied. We had another kid.

I knew how to do all those things.

No doubt if i hadnt won the lottery id be still living in council housing with one outfit.

Answer 6

Unfortunately she is almost an adult and this is her choice. The only thing you can do is feel very sorry for that poor kid. I have a similar cousin who had her first child at 17 and has all sorts of social/behavioural problems. I have had to distance myself from her because I can't bear seeing the way she and her family (which now include four kids, 25 fish, a lizard and 3 cats - none of which are adequately cared for) live. All you can really do hope to whatever god or force you want the she or her boyfriend is sterile...

Answer 7

Show her the consequences. im 15 an i kno not to have a baby till i have a stable relationship, a stable amount ov £££ comin in and a nice home. i wud need to kno how to cook cleen all the things a mother shud kno. does she kno wat she cud do to this child. why wud u wnt to bring a child up if u dnt kno how to cook clean. u dnt have ne money. is she for real. and that boyfrend needs wun h**l ov a kick up the ***! no boyfrend ov mine wud ever disrespect my parents. hes not worth it. if she doesnt understand wat she is doing. then let her make her own mistakes. and she will *** cryin bak wen she aint got no more money or newhere to sleep. and ur family will have to pick up the pieces probably one ov u will end up lookin after the baby as ur own!!

Answer 8

i am sorry there is nothing you can do now maybe last year you could have but she is an adult now all you can do is talk to her with out getting mad and explain it to her. best of luck

Answer 9

She's 18. If she wants to be a loser, you can't stop her.

She knows she is about to ruin her life, and doesn't care.

You can't help those who don't want to be helped.

Mom needs to kick her azz the h**l out and give her a wakeup call. She needs to stop enabling this stupidity. She has let it go like this, this is why the kid is the way she is. However, she is now old enough to figure out that c**p won't work.

Sorry, this is how it is.