What can I do with a joint mortgage and a fiance stuck in his ways...?

Question

My finance and I own a home together. He grew pot plants in our house and I didn't do it myself but I knew about it. We were busted and I ended up getting a possession charge while he got a manufacturing charge. It was a terrible situation. After all was said and done he ended up in jail because he broke the rules on his probation. Now he is out again and wants to grow illegal mushrooms. Based on this information you may think I am crazy to stay with this person but my head and heart say two different things. If I move out and he grows these anyway can I still get in trouble because I am on the mortgage? What can I do to convince him this is a bad idea? I don't have the heart to turn him in myself. He is a good person but has some stupid ideas sometimes. I have tried to talk to him and I even got rid of everything when he started it but he still decided to start it again. I am also 8 months pregnant and I cannot stop thinking about the position this puts me and my child into if we were to get caught again.

Answer 1

Hate to say it but this guy is bad, bad news.  The signs are right in front of you.  If you stay with him then it could mean jail time for you and you dont want to be having a baby in jail.  You already got busted because of this guy once.....you think they really going to have mercy on you a 2nd time?  You need to start figuring how to just get away from this guy because it doesn't look like he's wanting to change his ways about making money.   Why put you and the baby in yet another situation?

Answer 2

"I am also 8 months pregnant and I cannot stop thinking about the position this puts me and my child into if we were to get caught again."

Then quit listening to your heart and get away from him.  

Answer 3

Yes, I do think you’re crazy for staying with him, and you’re even crazier for bringing a child into the mix.

He’s not a ‘good person’ if he's intentionally breaking the law.  I had a friend whose older brother manufactured drugs.  He’s dead now—shot and killed by an unhappy customer.

Sell the home and get away from him unless you want to risk someday losing custody of your child.

Answer 4

Inform the police, and then arrange for the home to be sold.

Get away from him. He won't change and you'll end up in his cycle of growing illegal subtances and getting half the blame simply for being there.

Why oh why do women stick around with these losers?

The best thing you can do is go far away from him.

Once you sell the house, it pays off the mortgage, and you're free.

You're pregnant? Then start thinking about the child instead of the deadbeat father.  

Answer 5

I'm probably the only person on here who's not going to yell at you to remove yourself from the situation immediately and dump him.  Sure, i feel what he is doing is horribly wrong, but there's always room to change, and you need to do what's right for you.

I'd sit him down and calmly express how you're feeling to him.  Tell him that you simply cannot live in a home with drugs, and that you fear for the safety of yourself and your unborn baby.  Explain to him that the drugs are illegal and wrong, and you've already gotten into trouble for and you're unwilling to do so again.  Tell him you love him with all your heart and want this relationship to work more than anything, but you need him to stop using / selling / growing drugs.  Say that his family should be more important than the drugs, and that if you are he needs to stop what he's doing.

If he refuses, then you have a decision to make.  Do you want to live the rest of your life in a house with a druggie?  Are you okay with you and your CHILD living under a roof with drugs?  Are you willing to accept the fact that you may be arrested again, and have a spouse who is always in and out of jail because he refuses to change?  If you answered yes to those questions, then stay with him if that's what you want.  I personally feel if you do stay with him when he does these things, that you're throwing your life down the toilet.  Make whatever decision is right for you and your daughter, and hopefully he will change his ways.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You need to talk to a lawyer to see if you can get this duel ownership resolved.  Until then you need to get out of there and post one of those notices that you are no longer responsible for his actions or debts or what ever.  You must distance yourself from this man and get something to show you are in the process of disolving what ever legal unions you have with him.  I don't know what your heart says but if your head tells you to stay with this guy, then you need to have it examined.