What can I expect at a Jewish synagogue?

Question

My boyfriend attended a few Jewish services in boot camp and was very intrigued, and he wants me to go to one with him. I am very open to the idea (we are both very spiritual but not necessarily religious, and so we enjoy exploring many faiths in hopes of finding one that works for us) but I have no idea what to expect. How are the services conducted? I attended a Christian church as a child, will it be similar or very different? What should I wear? How should I conduct myself? I have only a blanket concept of the Jewish faith, and I certainly don't want to offend anyone. The synagogue we would be going to is not Orthodox, it is a bit more liberal.

Thanks for any help you can give me!

Answer 1

Reform or Conservative synagogues vary rather in dress code - to be on the safe side, I'd wear something reasonably smart but it doesn't have to be formal.  As you are not going to an Orthodox shul, men and women sit together.  I'd suggest you contact the synagogue before you go - this isn't essential, but if you do, someone will probably be around to help you through the service.  Some of it will be in Hebrew and some in English.  Sometimes people stand up, sometimes they sit; when they stand, they often are facing the Ark, where the Torah scrolls are kept.  Just copy what everyone else does - there won't be any shock or disapproval if you don't manage to do exactly what everyone else is doing.  

Much like in a Christian church, there will be some singing and some prayers said together and some readings.  We don't pray with hands together and eyes closed like Christians do, though there are certain prayers where we do cover the eyes.  Again, just follow everyone and if you have someone assigned to help you, they'll probably explain as you go.  Congregations vary, but it's likely there will be children around for some of the service and there is acceptance of the fact that they may not be quiet all the time - in fact, in general, there isn't a big thing about being silent and reverential.

If you go to a shabbat morning service, one or more of the Torah scrolls will be taken out of the Ark and taken around the synagogue.  It is customary to bow as it passes you.  If you don't feel comfortable doing this, no-one will mind if you just stand as everyone is doing.

Most congregations are very friendly and welcoming to visitors.  You can expect to have your hand shaken many times, particularly at the end of the service, and people greet each other with "shabbat shalom" (Sabbath peace).  If you don't feel too awkward, it's nice to return this greeting.

I really hope you enjoy the service.  Do remember, however, that Judaism is practised in the everyday more than in the synagogue - there is much more to it than the weekly shabbat services.  If you feel interested, there will be people only too happy to talk to you at the synagogue.  Good luck!

Answer 2

Services are conducted depeding on the synagouge either everyday or only on Shabbat(Friday night and Saturday). If they are everyday there will be three or two services. Either Shacarit and Marriv(Morning and Evening) or Shacarit and Minhah(Morning and Afternoon). Or a combination of Minhah and Marriv with Shacarit in the morning. It depends on the Synagogue. It will be similar to a christian service in a Reform synagogue sometimes. There may be music with intraments like a piano and organ. There will be a sancatary with mixed seating. In conservative synagoues there will be mixed seating but music isnt as of the norm as in Reform Judaism. In Orthodox synagugues, women and men are seated seperatly and there is no music on Shabbat. You should wear anything casual at a Reform Jewish service. A more modest but casual outfit in a Conservative synagogue and long sleeves or at least sleeves pass the elbow and a dress pass the knees in Orthodox synagogues. You should just conduct yourself like in any other house of worship. Turn off all electronics in all synagogues(Reform - Orthodox) for respect but in Orthodox synaguges really so you wont stand out.lol because electronics arent used in Orthodox synagogues. But since you are going to a more liberal, i am thinking it might be conservative because you said "a bit more liberal" so on the safe side just follow everything i said about the conservative service. I will include pictures and info so you wont be confused.

This is a Torah. When you see this out you should rise. You may already rise up when they open the cabinet it is in called the Ark. The torah is the five books of moses, or Genesis though Deutornomy.

http://uptojerusalem.com/photos/TorahRea...

Here is the ark it is kept in

http://www.jija.org/ENGLISH/JIJA/Synago/...

Here is the sancatary

http://www.tremontstreetshul.org/images/...

Answer 3

The services I have been to are conducted mostly in English (the prayers are in Hebrew). I would dress nice but not formal. Maybe a nice dress but not as if you are going to a big dance or something like that. During the service be quiet during the prayers and if you want to stand when everyone else does and stuff like that you can. Most Rabbis I have met you can talk to before the service and introduce yourself explaining that you are just going to see what it is like and he/she should be understanding and answer any questions you have.  I have never been to Christian service so I can't compare.

Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Most of these answers are right on the money!

I do have a few things to add.  

For example, if the service is on Shabbos, then do not take out any money to put in the pushka.  

And, if it is Shabbos, dress fancy.  We honor the Sabbath by dressing in beautiful clothes we normally wouldn't wear during the week.

The usual times to stand are:

When the Ark is open.

When the Torah is being carried around the room.

During the Shemoneh Esrei, from the beginning of the silent portion until after the Kedushah during the reader's repetition (Kedushah is the part that includes the "Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh" (Holy, Holy, Holy) blessing).

During the Aleinu prayer, near the end of any service.

There are other times, but these are the most significant in an Orthodox synagogue.

When the Torah comes out, do not face your back to it.  When the Torah is brought out from the Ark, it is paraded around the room before it is brought to rest on the bimah (podium), and it is considered an honor to have the opportunity to recite a blessing over the reading (this honor is called an aliyah).

As a woman, we are not allowed to directly touch the Torah, but take your siddur (prayer book) and touch it to the Torah then kiss the prayer book.  The first time I was able to kiss the Torah with my siddur, I felt chills!  What a special honor - what a feeling.

Answer 5

I'll just add to not be shy.  Ask any questions you feel like (afterward or before).  On a Friday night there may be an oneg afterwards, a short eating of cookies while everyone chats.  On Shabbat people may tend to linger a bit after services.

You can be completely honest about yourself.  You will likely be very welcome & nothing will be considered offensive.  Things likely run on a relaxed time schedule.  There won't be any plate passing.  (There's a tedaka box in the back that people can put money into for the Rabbi's charity fund, but things are payed for with membership dues rather than collections.)

If you call in advance, the Rabbi will know to look out for you, & if he/she is any good, will try to introduce you to people to make you feel more comfortable.

If you'd like to read about Judaism a few sites:

www.jewfaq.org - good overview from orthodox perspective.

www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org  - everything possible

www.aish.org - by orthodox Rabbis for all jews to learn more about judaism.  Some great essays on every topic imaginable.

As Ambivalent emphasized, Judaism is a lot more than services once a week.   The service probably shows only a small part of Judaism.  An interesting piece is the study process, and the concepts.  We don't use the services to learn our concepts (except for the Torah reading).  We do most of it outside of services.  But again, ask ANYTHING you feel like.

Answer 6

Dress modestly.  Stand when everyone else stands, and sit when people sit.  If you feel moved to read along in English, then do so--otherwise, don't worry!  I've never been to a Christian service so I can't say.  But in general the services are mostly prayers interspersed with songs (sometimes sections of the Psalms, sometimes the prayers themselves).  The prayers are often read responsively; sometimes they are in English, sometimes in Hebrew.  There will be a sermon at some point (or at least there usually is).  If you go on Saturday morning you are likely to hear the Torah chanted--it's very beautiful.  Feel free to e-mail me if you have more questions.  Have fun !!!