What can I say that's comforting?

Question

A girl I have known for two years has a cousin who is being put up for adoption. This cousin is like a sister to my friend. The girl's father was a drunk and beat up his father for telling him 'he was a failure at life'. Her mother apparently sent the girl this for her 13th birthday, "You're a stupid, ugly child. You were a mistake. I would've aborted." I only know all this because my friend comes to me to talk about things like this. Her family is one big mess, and her only stable family lives far away. She hardly gets to see them, because her family really doesn't have enough extra cash to splurge on plane tickets. I don't know what to say. I can't relate to her. But, what I can I say to comfort her? I'm not very good at making people feel better, but I'm understanding.

P.S: We're both eleven. For a while, I almost didn't want to be her friend anymore, because I felt like she wasn't trust-worthy. But, then I realized that she tells me so much and I should trust her because she obviously trusts me. Now, I really want to be there for her.

Answer 1

Does she know you know so much about the situation? Bc if the girl does, I would just tell her she has all your support and let her know you're there. If she doesn't know you know about this situation, I wouldn;t bring it to the table . She might have wanted this to be a secret.

Answer 2

There really isn't much you can say, but just be there for her when she needs to talk to you. I wish I could give you a more in-depth answer, but I'm not very good at comforting people, either. In fact...I tend to feel awkward when people confide in me.

I assume that's how you feel or you wouldn't have posted.  

Answer 3

This is a really hard time for your friend. If you've ever lost someone you loved, you might be able to relate and understand how much pain she is in right now. All you can do is say, "I'm sorry," and be willing to talk about it when she wants to. Don't bring it up when she is interested in something else. Don't say you know how she feels, because you don't. You most likely haven't been in this situation, and the only thing you can do is be with her, be there for her, and tell her you're sorry. Letting her spend the night at your house sometimes might be a way for her to escape the pain of her life at home. Good luck!

Answer 4

Try to give her advice, like, "Why dont you write to your cousin? That will cheer you up.", something like that.