What can a person do about a 5 year old girl that consistantly cries for her "mommy" every night?

Question

I am a live in boyfriend and my girlfriend's 5 year old daughter cries every night when it's time to go to bed, and usually gets up between 5 and 6 times through the night wailing for her mommy. I can hardly ever get a full night sleep and the girl is really beginning to get under my skin. If she were my daughter, I would have given her a spanking a long time ago and that would have been that. I yelled at her a while back and it helped for that night only, then I got yelled at by her mom. Her daddy lives 4 hours from us and she stays with him every other weekend and sleeps in his bed with him. When she comes back it is the worst. The daughter wants my girlfriend to baby her and lay by her and cries for at least an hour to sometimes three or four hours and she's in first grade. I tell my girlfriend to take care of it but she keeps pussyfooting around her full grown baby so she won't cry more or louder. The whole thing literally makes me sick to my stomach every night. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Your girlfriend needs to make the daughter stop the nonsense.  Spanking the child is not going to do any good so get that out of your head.  

Create a score chart or something that you can put stars on.  Show the girl that if she can sleep the entire night, she'll get 3 stars - if she cries once, it's 2 stars, etc.   Give her a goal to reach - if she gets 10 stars, she can get a new movie, a trip to the zoo, a new doll perhaps.  Does she take naps during the day?  That needs to stop.  Wake her up early and keep her busy for the day so that she is actually tired at night.  

Remember though that you AND your girlfriend need to talk to the child together if this is going to work.  

Another option would be to take the child to the doctor and see if there is something wrong that is keeping her awake all night.  Better safe than sorry!

Answer 2

You're not related to the child so you have no right discipllining the child...my advice...if you don't like what is going on in the home the child lives in move out.  If I were the child's mother you would have been out a very long time ago...

Answer 3

ur the "boyfriend" so hers ur role keep ur mouth shut im surprised she hasnt broken up with YOU

Answer 4

As a live in boyfriend, it's not really your call. I agree that a 5 year old should be sleeping in their own room, in their own bed through the night. The father should also not be sleeping in the same bed with her.

The only thing you can do is put her back in her room and let her cry. Everytime she gets up, just take her back to her room and put her in bed.

Answer 5

Wow, you sound like a real compassionate guy.... It sounds like the five year old isn't adjusting well to the new arrangement. If she sleeps in bed with dad when she stays with him, this is never going to work. Mom and dad, together or not, need to get on the same page with a bedtime routine. If not, Mom needs to spend a little extra time with her in the evening to give her the attention she obviously craves and soothe her to sleep. Then whenever she gets up during the night, it has to be all business, no cuddling. Mom has to put her back in bed and say something simple like, "it's bedtime", and leave the room. The longer it takes to get her back in bed each time, the longer it'll take to break this behavior. You have to remember that this is a child. She really does need her mommy. She just has to understand that she won't be getting the attention in the middle of the night. It will be much easier if dad did the same thing. It would be a good idea for you to purchase a good pair of ear plugs. If you are getting mad at her for keeping you awake it's just going to make her want mom even more. You have got to stay out of this and let mom handle it. Good luck!

Answer 6

maybe you can find  a new girlfriend without a child.  i would have dump YOU