What can an adoptive parent do so ........................?

Question

their adoptive child won't lose their identity. I have concerns about raising both a bio child and an adoptive child. I want to make both feel equal in my heart. Besides the obvious stuff like doing the same thing for both....what phrases, wording, or behaviors should i avoid or include in our daily lives.

Answer 1

This is such a good question! There are a lot of adopted kids (grown ups now) who can tell you about their experience with that and I know some had a really hard time (but I can't speak for them, I didn't experience that)

I think the fact that you are already thinking about it will make a difference because you can really be sure that you give your child room to have whatever feelings they have about it, let them know they are ok for having those feelings and that they are loved absolutely equally.

I love how people describe that they love each of their children differently, even if that love is equally. If that makes sense. I hope you'll get some good comments from people who have experienced this!!!

: )

Answer 2

Live like a 'normal' family, your his/her mum,treat them as equals as they are both yours,you shouldnt really have to question it, good luck x

Answer 3

i was raised in a family like this. my parents didn't think they could have children so they adopted me and then ended up having my brother. we were not treated the same. that is a big key. treat them the same. and try not to dwell on it. all my life i have heard, we love you just like you were our own. well, if they really meant that, they wouldn't have to say it because i would already be one of their own.

Answer 4

Just treat him or her the same as you do your bio child.  Don't make a big deal about the adoption, if questions arise from your kids let them know what a family is all about.

Answer 5

My little sister is adopted.  We are treated completly the same!  When people ask my mom if we are both adopted, she says no.  Then they ask "where is she from" and my mom says, my heart.  She also gets questions like how many years have you had her? and she says her whole life.  What we found is that if you say something to confuse(if someone asked does she speak chinese, she would say she isn't chinese and then they would look wierd at her) or embarrass(like if someone asked which one is adopted, she would say neither) that way we both feel the same and she is letting my sis stick out!