What can be more insidious than someone's curious gaze at the changes on your face...?

Question

after they haven't seen you for years?

have you ever felt strange and embarrassed when you met one of your former classmates, acquaintances, etc... whom you haven't seen for years while realizing all they wanted to see were the changes caused by age on your face?

Answer 1

This reminds me of a very special and poignant quote by Khalil Gibran on 'Faces' which I'll share with you.  Take from it what resonates, discard the rest.

A look which reveals inward stress adds more beauty to the face, no matter how much tragedy and pain it bespeaks; but the face which, in silence, does not announce hidden mysteries is not beautiful regardless of the symmetry of its features. The cup does not entice our lips unless the wine's color is seen through the transparent crystal."

Answer 2

yes

Answer 3

Noooo!  The very first thing that we notice IS the physical change in us/our friends.  And then we burst forth laughing and joking about our 'past' appearance.

Nothing insidious...just curiously interested!

Everyone changes with time.  Why get all self-conscious/insecure about it?

Answer 4

You look good.

Answer 5

Boy, this is a paranoid question. Why do you think people examine the faces of friends they haven't seen in some time? They're just adjusting to the present you, that's all. Some people get better looking as they get older (they stop drinking, stop smoking, lose weight, etc.) There are a few gifted people who will always be good looking, such as Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, etc. The rest of us suffer somewhat from aging, but a good part of that comes from behavior, such as never wearing sunscreen.

Answer 6

I am not concerned with this notion,people can accept me for who i am,and look, or leave me be.

Answer 7

I tell them... " ..What??... Did I forget some parsley on my left ear, or something?"

Answer 8

This may be so, but If we have a positive self image of our self, we our less likely to read into what the long lost friend is thinking. If we view ourselves as having aged a great deal, or have gained weight or are generally unhappy with ourselves, we may expect that others see us this way as well. That is why it is so important to check our self perceptions at the door when we interact with others. We see the world through our own personal lenses, and if our lenses are "smudged" by  a negative self image, or an image that focuses on only our flaws, we will interpret others impressions in the same light, regardless of what they might truly think.

Alternately, they are looking at us through their own lenses as well, which may be tarnished by their own beliefs.

I think our best bet, is to see ourselves in our best Light, and we in turn will likely incorporate that into our perceptions of others.

Great, thought provoking question. Inspiring questions like these give me good practice at looking at situations like these with an optimistic lense. Kudos!