What can i do about my father in law? please help!

Question

me and my husband are both 19, his father is wealthy man and my hubby is his only son. about a monty ago i found out i was pregnant and we were all very excited. but after everyone went to sleep my father in law wanted to talk to me and he told me that if my first kid was'nt a boy, he was gonna want me to divorce Michael (my husband). i was devestated and he told me that since michael is his only son, he wants his first grandchild to be a boy so we can guarantee him that his family last name is gonna be passed on for another generation. the other night, my husband came back from work and he was very upset because his dad told him that if i didnt have a boy for my first child, he would have to divorce me, and if my husband refused to do it, my husband wouldnt receive none of his money once he was dead.i dont know what to do, im so nervous because i dont know what im gonna have.... is there anything i can do to free us from this nightmare?? i mean we cant just move somewhere else since my husband works with his dad. any advise would be great. thanks guys

Answer 1

Suggest that the man be evaluated for Alzheimer's.  It sounds to me like he's unable to think clearly.

Answer 2

Your husband needs to get another job and the two of you need to make you own life together, with your child, your priority.  Your father-in-law is a jerk and not deserving of the title of grandfather.  If your husband doesn't stand up to him now, he never will.  If you do get a divorce, soak both of the bstrds for as much as you can.

Answer 3

Perhaps you should get a book or two on genetics to show him your husband is responsable for the s*x of your offspring, not you. Secondly, divorce won't change the s*x of your baby either. The child would still have his/her fathers last name and your husband would still be responsable emotionaly and financialy.  I think even if you have a boy, the nightmare will continue for you.  The money will always be held above your head to get you to do what he wants.  I would advise you and your husband to continue your education so that you know you can support yourselves without his money or business. That would allow you to feel free of the pressures he is putting on you and make the choices you really want to make in your life.

Answer 4

Your FIL sounds like an a**hole!  The SECOND grandchild  or THIRD could be a boy and his name will go on - it doesn't have to be the first grandchild.  Your husband may only be able to produce girls - then what!!??  He could have 10 kids and they may all be girls.  

Answer 5

Your husband is a ***** if he has to rely on his dad's money.

You should divorce him just for that.

Answer 6

Wow, and to think that may battles have been fought to liberate us from mediocrity. Your father in law sounds like he still lives in the dark age. If you really want a happy pregnancy you shouldn't be listening to his nonsense, for that baby is suppose to bring joy to your life not misery...

Good luck!

Answer 7

You dont have anything to be scared of, and you need to find a voice.

Just pull your father in law to one side and give him a reply to what he saiid to you about if you dont have a boy, you get divorced.

All your father in law has to use his sinister controlling tactics on you is his stupid money.

tell him if you have a daughter she will be loved and wanted, maybe not by him, and that has far as you are concerned is of no consequence whatsoever.

This is a golden opportunity for you to find your feminine power, and mothers love.

He is being totally disrespectfull to you and your baby, especially if its a girl.

So stand up and let him know that you are quite capable of providing a safe, and loving home for your child.

  all the best

Answer 8

you know, i saw this on an episode of Lifetime.

Answer 9

Who cares what he says. You and your hubby are adults. Your father in law has no say over your marriage. If you are living with him, you need to get your own place so he can't upset you all the time. You husband should tell his father he is going to change his last name to yours or his mother's maiden name. I bet dear old dad wouldn't like that! The bottom line is, happiness is more important than money. You and your hubby need to make your own money so the dad has no control over you. It doesn't sound like his money has made HIM happy!

Answer 10

Hold on I have to get some popcorn.. This is great!

Ok continue!:)

Answer 11

You married into a family of retards. You can't have more children later on? Why is it so important the first one be a boy, why not the second or third? Or maybe you will have all girls, who knows?  

Answer 12

I think the best thing for you to do is leave him.  Then have you man make more money than his father and be the real man of the family.  There are a lot of wealthy families that as big on the "first born son of a first born son" thing to the point of it mattering with some sort of secret society that may have been in the families for centuries.  

Answer 13

Well I think the best solution to this is for your husband to grow up and realize that he can't always count on daddy's money. If your husband was to tell his father that he didin't care what child he was blessed with and that money wasn't inportant, I bet you his father would back off. I know the lure of an inheritance seems lovely but you guys are young and capable of carving out your own existence in this world. You chose to have a child together and get married so now you to need to choose to survive without the threats of money by you Father in law. Good luck!

Answer 14

Honey there is a GOD anad he will deal with him in due time. He has no control what so ever over your relationship. Your don't need to be stressing yourself anyway, you have a higher chance of having an miscarriage during your first trimester. Let GOD deal with him, just pray for the best!!! hopefully everything works out.

Oh yeah and regardless of what you have it's still going to be his grandchild..he's so stupid!!

Answer 15

Simple. You either let your FIL  scare you into divorcing your husband, or you ignore the ba$tard and let your husband decide if that's what he wants. If that's what he wants, then there's nothing you can do.

My husband's niece has 4 daughters, and her husband came from a family of nothing but boys. So it's a c**p shoot.

Side note. The way your FIL is, maybe it's better you don''t carry on his name. Just my opinion.  

Answer 16

That's psycho and ridiculous. If your husband truly loves you then he wont leave you if you give birth to a daughter regardless of a threat of being cut off financially. Your father in law obviously has no respect for women.

And if you do have a girl, and your husband leaves you. Make sure you get everything in the divorce!

Answer 17

I don't know the full relationship of your story, but if the both of you love each other and love that child, You don't need his money. Make your own.Enroll in school, Get an education, and no one can lay a burden on  you like that. Good luck !!!

Answer 18

This makes no sense.  The most important thing is for a baby that is healthy.  Also, if the issue is to carry on the "family name" what difference would it make if the first child or next is a boy?  I really would start looking to be self sufficient and not count on your father in laws money. Just know if you do you will both spend your lives being controlled by money.  No matter how much money your father in law has is it really worth giving up your freedom.  

Congrats on the baby.  

Answer 19

You poor things.  This is the time for you and your husband to agree and bond closer than ever before. This is YOUR baby and YOUR family, not your father-in-law's. Whether the baby is a boy or not has nothing to do with your father-in-law and what he wants. Tell him that you, your husband, and baby are a family. If he wants to remain a part of your family then he will cease threatening you all or he will not be a part of your family.  Ignore his threats or suggestions. If you have a boy first, please be aware that the father-in-law may try to control or take over through his position as grandfather and try to become the parent himself. You must put him in his place or withdraw from his control.  Don't be scared of him.  

Answer 20

it should not matter what you have! there is still a chance for your second child to be a boy as well...his dad sounds like a pig headed b*****d and he can't make you get a divorce. and if your husband does divorce you to get his money you are better off with out him anyways.