What can i do about my marine husband cheating on me??

Question

now i for one am wanting to join the marines in about 4 months. i know all about the honor and courage and things like that. everything the marines stands for. my husband is in the marine corps and we were married for about a year and 1 month and i said you can go home and see your daughter and family, we left on good terms...however when he came back things were different there was tention...this was at the end of june (08) and just 4 days ago his sister told me that he had a secret or well she thought it was my hubby and she said if you get back with her i will tell her your secret...well i got her to give me a name and she said joni...so i asked aaron when i talked to him if he had anything at all that he wanted to tell me any secrets to get off your chest he said no...then i said ok whos joni.. he said oh shes just a friend of kristis (aarons sister) and i said is that so i asked well what did you do, hes like nothing i stayed the night at her house b/c ginger (his daughter) was already asleep. i told him that if he doesnt tell me the truth then he would never hear from me and his son again...so he admitted it, he said if you say it i will answer yes or no...so the first thing i asked was did you have s*x with her...he said yes it took him a minute but he said it...so my question is...if i tell his master sgt...who i have talked to on many occasions about our problems should i tell him that aaron admitted to me that he cheated while we were married about 2 months ago...and another question is i printed out all the phone records for about the past 2 months so i can show his master sgt or whoever how much he has been talking to his ex fiance, is there any way i can get him for infidelity?? and would he lie to his master sgt about cheating??? and i have an email he wrote me saying "i know i should never raise my hand at you" i printed it...and i printed where his sister said ill tell your secret and your hint is joni...aaron does not deserve the name marine and i am wanting to try all i can so his command can see that....people like him are what give the marine corps a bad name!!! and he doesnt deserve the marines!!! so with all the things i have can i get him for infidelity and cheating??? if not what do i need to get to do so??? do i need to record him saying he cheated on me??? thank you so much any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! semper fi...

Answer 1

Mistakes happen...some say once a cheater always a cheater but I'm not so sure about that

Answer 2

Wow - you're being really vindictive. I know you're upset about his cheating, but divorce is probably far enough to go. Don't ruin his military career because of this. Worse, you could ruin your own. The military tends to be an "old boy network" and you may end up shooting yourself in the foot if you go blabbing this to his master sgt. Just divorce him on the grounds of infidelity and keep private matters private.

Answer 3

Come over.

Answer 4

Confront him on the issue. Provide proof (voice recordings). I imagine if he doesn't respond favorably (or at all, for that matter) to your questions I would then take the matter to court.  

Answer 5

It's simple.  Get rid of him.

There are plenty of honest, decent guys in this world that would happily replace him and value you.

Answer 6

Why are you trying to mess his/your life up just get over it all men cheat at one point it's natural expressively military men get used to it.

Answer 7

I would get him out of my life forever. For me the trust and bond is broken..

Answer 8

I'm sorry.  I got about 5 sentences into your story and started thinking "soap opera".  Just couldn't go any farther.

Answer 9

So much for honor.  Just divorce him.  

Answer 10

Unfortunately, no matter the branch of military, most superiors already know when a service member is cheating, and most could careless because they cheat too.  That's due to the lower standards the military has today in who they accept in the service.  Sucks huh?  But, in the occassions where the command is approached by a spouse they have to investigate the alleigations of adultery.  Usually you have to have witnesses that will sign a sworn statement, pictures of your spouse with the tramp, emails from him or the tramp that can prove of an inappropriate relationship.  You can ask for his command to bar him from any further contact with that person, which they will do.  If you have proof you can have him brought up on charges of adultery and request that he be prosecuted under the military law which in most cases will give him a bar to re-enlistment, meaning he can not re-enlist and kick him out of the service with a dishonorable discharge.  

Those who hate this have to remember, the military made this law as part of the UCMJ and it has everything to do with being a person of good moral character.  If they don't want this to happen to them, they shouldn't commit adultery, plain and simple.  There is always getting a divorce before having relations with another person that is not their spouse.  

Hope this helps.

Answer 11

You must realize that if you do this, you stand a good chance of ruining his career. He could be seriously disciplined. Personally I would do it, but the decision is yours

Answer 12

Well. Let's assume for a sec. I would be his Master Sgt.

or anyone else besides the chaplain. Why the h**l should

I give a frag?

If this should be a reason to discharge anyone from the corps

it would be half the size by the end of the month. You would

have to kick out guys for cheating, for drug abuse when they

were 14, for beating up the guy at school. For not eating up

supper.

If you're pissed pour it out over him. Not someone who isn't

remotely interesting in this.

Answer 13

I feel your pain. I had a ex cheat on me while I was deployed overseas. What did I do? I called her up, gave back all the stuff, and threw her out of my house.

Regardless of honors in the Marine Corps, I have a few buddies who have cheated on their girls, too. It happens in every military branch in the world. You should try to get over him and start fresh. Don't linger on with him anymore bcause you don't deserve it.

Semper Fi.

Answer 14

I just wanted to let I tell Like I See It that your the type of individual that gives the military a bad name and i am also willing to bet that you have never served and just enjoy ripping the military that has fought to preserve the right to spew your hateful rubbish.

And i agree with most people that say you should not ruin his career but it is your choice and right to take him to the cleaners but whatever you choose i hope you find an honorable person to treat you right. Just met a great girl and we were both in the military those people are out there you just have to find them.  

Answer 15

Honestly just divorce him; all the rest of the stuff is alll just revenge on your part to be honest.  He had an one night stand it sounds like so either divorce him or forgive him and try to patch things up.  All the calls to his ex-fiancee could be some thing or nothing; they do have a daughter and the ine night stand wasn'ther.  If the way you sound here is the way you are talking to him then you might just be pushing to feel even more wronged.  Honestly his siteer appears to be a trouble maker or possibly a match maker and set it up but the talk of printing an email where he mentions raising hishand to you but nothing in the long story about him doing it-you print it just because it would appear that he had so you could see about getting him in more trouble?  The phone calls aren't proof of infidelity but again you could make it look that way.  Honestly I would have never wanted a person like him or you in my unit; vindictive, revengeful people actually made poor military personnel and you are both plus it appears unforgiving and also will use innuendo and smears as well as facts.  Divorce him ot forgive and forget is what you need to do; leave the rest behind and move on.  In case you wonder my wife did mess around on me once while I was deployed (though we know service wives never do that) and she was really adament about me messing around when I got back until everything finally came out-No I hadn't-really makes me wonder about you honestly.  No didn;t divorce her or run her name through the mud, we worked it out and got over it after a while.

Answer 16

Ok so I will start with this disclaimer I am a mean vindictive person when it comes to cheating, so this might be too much.

I personally, would start by slowly siphoning off money out of the joint accounts into a private account and make sure you change all passwords. Then I would take any proof, not hints or guesses, absolute proof to his command and JAG and start divorce proceedings. Being military I believe they will want you to go through a separation period first. This won't get him kicked out just demoted probably. I would then make sure to file for Child support, you weren't married long enough for much else.

That's just me I am mean and nasty and would not take being cheated on well. Doing that would probably ruin your relationship forever, including any kind of friendship which will not helpful later when dealing with your child together.