What can i do about my niece?

Question

I have a niece who is 12 & she is going thru something that i never went thru as a teenager. My sister (her mom) is a little over weight & her teeth is not in the best shape. My mother (her grandmother) is in a wheel chair because she cannot walk due to arthritis. My brother has a hearing aid because he is deaf in both ears & when i was in middle school i had to take some resources classes but i was a little slow. ok so my family have some problems & my niece is so ashamed of us that all she does is talk s h i t about us to my other sister. I know its normal to feel that way at her age but it hurts all of our feelings because of what she says. What can i do to teach her that its wrong that she feels that way???

Answer 1

look honestly there's not much you can do. she's a teenager and teens just do that kind of stuff... she is being wrong though because it's not yawls fault that this happened it's just the way it is... but really i can't help unless you tell more about the one she talks s h i t  to. if she isn't upset about yawl and it's just the neice then talk to her and see if she can find out why the neice feels this way... or maybe she can take her somewhere and show her that life doesn't always turn out perfect for everyone and when she grows older she'll understand that

Answer 2

its not wrong that she feels that way its the way she feels. its wrong that she hasn't been taught to understand that these disability do not make a person bad it makes them different . teach her take her to help at a camp or school

Answer 3

I don't know - I think sometime people mutter some really hurtful things about their siblings. I think I have a lot. Not that I'm meaning it to be mean, unless I'm mad then i said that meant that (working on that ugly side of me) lol... But just go to her and let her know she's hurting people feelings - cause it's really not right, and I'm sure if she knew that she hurts you and your family she would stop.

Answer 4

She doesn't know what her relatives are going through with their physical problems because she has no personal experience to draw from, nothing physical she has had to struggle with and adapt to. Neither have the kids she is around. This deprives her and them of any empathy, and so they respond with ridicule born of their ignorance. It won't change until she can somehow relate. You could talk to her to see if you can find some incident in her life with which to draw  some empathy from her, but that's about it. Even if you can make her somehow understand, then you will still have the matter of the other kids, and unless they change their tune then they may be instrumental in your niece backslipping into her old ways.

Answer 5

I understand what she's going thru. When I was younger I was very ashamed of my mom. I grew out of it but all you can do is stress the fact that it hurts you when she speaks this way. Tell her no one is perfect.

Answer 6

Does she know she is hurting your feelings if she does then hurt her feelings and explain that it is wrong to do. You could shun her. Or if she doesn't know she is hurting your feelings let her know. maybe she doesn't think it effects you the way it does.

Answer 7

Sit her down and talk to her about it all.  She might now appreciate it now, but she needs to understand that this is hurtful, and how would she feel if she were in any of your shoes.  She needs to learn this now before she develops more into a teenager.