What can i do about my self-esteem???

Question

its like, really,really low! and so is my self confidence! how can i improve it or something???

Answer 1

Depending on your age you can have either really low self esteem or really high self esteem. The point of which the lowest self esteem happens is around 12-13. So if your around that age and you lose confidence then it is normal and self esteem is more common in girls. As you get older your self esteem will improve so just try not to think too negatively and you will have a more higher self esteem. Low self esteem can really happen in any age group though.

Answer 2

For some reason I have no problem thinking of the times when I messed up,no matter how trivial or how long ago they were. Oddly, the virtues and little triumphs seem to evaporate.

It can be fun (good for your inner glow too) to make a list of good things about you, add all the big & little wins you've had. See if you can hunt out or recreate all the certificates you've been awarded preferably the ones from 1st grade, plus award yourself some (e.g. I know three Greek words, I can float for ages, I had a cold and I still passed my geography test, I can put on eyeliner with a really neat line, I taught my dog to sit, I can tie my shoe laces, I can sing in tune most of the time, I found a sweater that exactly matches my favorite skirt, I wrap presents beautifully, I remember to floss most nights, I don't say rude words in front of little children ....) Honestly, you're wonderful you've just forgotten.

It is silly and it's meant to be, but it must be good to refute your real or imagined faults under an pile of positives. Ask your favorite people to tell you three great things about you. If you don't have any favorite people go and sit with an old dog or play with a puppy. Ask someone safe to give you a hug every day.

Just don't do what I really do when I feel low - get out my credit card and charge.

Answer 3

Smiling. People like friendly people – it’s that simple. Plus, even a forced smile will lighten up a teen’s own bad mood.

Good posture. Standing tall not only helps improves how a teenager looks, but it helps a teen feel more secure and puts less stress on the back and shoulders.

Making eye contact. Sometimes a teenager feels painfully shy, but their look says “Back off!” Meeting another person’s gaze -- whether it’s a cute guy or an interviewer - lets them know a teen is approachable and confident.

Being bold. Teens have to be willing to put themselves out there – whether in front of the class or at a party. It will get a little easier each time until the teen starts wondering why being in public was ever a big deal.

Going easy on themselves. Nobody’s perfect, but when teenagers obsess about what’s “wrong” with themselves, they don’t give anyone else a chance to notice all the things that are great. Teens need to remember that almost everyone feels insecure at some point (though not everyone lets on). Self-confidence comes from being able to put a break on that nay-saying voice and and moving on.

Doing what they love. Parents and teens do not always agree on what the priorities should be. But as long as what a teen is doing is not dangerous, a parent should find ways to support what a teen feels passionate about… or at least to get out of the way and let the teen explore. What better boost to self-esteem than being able to do something one cares about well?

Preparing for things. Procrastination is a teen’s favorite friend. But life is stressful enough without teens tripping themselves up. It’s hard to feel self-confident when things feel out of control. When teens give themselves enough time to prepare for that big date, study for that test, write that paper, etc., they find that things tend to go much better and more simply. Time management tips can help.

Being able to walk away, part 1. Sometimes teens who lack self-esteem or have low self-confidence are willing to put themselves in situations that they know aren’t good, just to gain another person’s approval. Teenagers need to learn to stop and trust their cautious side. Teens need to know they can always try things like s*x and drinking later, when it’s more appropriate, but if they do something they regret, it can’t be done.

Being able to walk away, part 2. Some people only give someone the time of day if that person is doing something for them. No teen should be willing to be a doormat. Sure, it might lose them some friends, but those “friends” are not worth the trouble.

Answer 4

Self-esteem IS a mental sickness.  Get rid of it.  Read "The Myth of Self-esteem" by Dr. Albert Ellis Ph.D.  "Confronting The Myth of Self-esteem  Twelve Keys to Finding Peace" by Ester Rasband, Overcoming the Rating Game" by Dr. Paul Hauck Ph.D.

Self-esteem IS a delusion and cause people to become mentally sick.

Another good book is "Help Yourself to Happiness" by Dr. Maxie Maultsby Jr. M.D.

You can find these books at Amazon.com or the Albert Ellis Institute website.

$.05 please

Good Luck,

Lucy P