What can i do for our relationship?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little more than a year and a half, i am 21 and 8 months pregnant and we just moved in together 3 weeks ago and i am very much in love and couldn't be happier. But I can feel myself becoming controlling, nagging (like i want things done MY way) and repeatititive particularly about money and i dont like it! I am not working as i was studying before we fell pregnant, therefor he brings home the money - and i am very concious that we need to be tight with money (especially with a bub on the way)- but he is not so.

I dont know if this is just the prengnancy making me this way, if there is something i can do tone this down or iff it might be him. Please help i dont want to turn into a nagging annoying housewife and want our relationship and family to last the distance!

What can i do?

Answer 1

As a young mother of two, I understand your problem. Pregnancy can be stressful, and the extra hormones and emotions can make women a bit moody. It is natural to worry about providing for your baby. I suggest sitting down with your boyfriend and having a calm discussion about your worries. Getting it all out in the open makes it less likely that you'll feel the need to bring it up daily. Good luck and congrats  

Answer 2

Well a problem acknowledged is a problem solved. You know you are nagging talk to him about it. I think you will be fine you seem smart and in touch with yourself so just talk about the issue and accept each others right to feel differently and compromise that is the key to all problems.

Answer 3

Oh god! Communication is the key!!!

Answer 4

Money can destroy a relationship- especially if there is one person bringing it into the home-- you 2 are young & trying to do the right thing is stressful- especially when you throw in the array of hormonal changes you are going through.

The fact that you are not currently able to do those things that you used to do (work/school) may not seem like it matters but it does- everything about your body is telling you that it's time to save money, be responsible, get ready for the baby... he is not experiencing this in the same way-- those feelings won't really hit him hard until the baby is in his hands-- perfectly normal.  The conflict is more within yourself- I was SOOO bitchy when I was near the end of my pregnancy- i do know now that i look back that most of bitchiness was fueled hormones and the fact that at the time when my body was telling me to get ready I was relying on someone else to pretty much take of me & the fact that I had nothing to do all day except think & think some more!  I suggest talking to him when you are not upset- just a simple 'hey, i wanted to tell you that I know I've been super bitchy but i'm just feeling...' let him know that you are bringing it up because you don't want to nag at him and cause him stress- after all he is trying to be a man- he has alot going on in his mind too & you need to support him and let him know how appreciated he is.

Another thing that actually worked for me is something my OB told me- he was SO awesome, had 13 kids- could you imagine?? anyway he said l should practice letting 3 things that you normally ***** about go everyday--as you go through your day, when you get that feeling and you're ready to launch an attack, think about 'do i want to use my ammo now or wait for a better one'- it sounds so crazy but it actually helped-- i wasn't bitching at him nearly as much and we were both happier.

Relationships are WORK- you are going have to bite your tongue at times, stand behind him when you don't agree with him, support him even when you think he couldn't be any less deserving & he should do the same for you. You are going to need to make a conscious effort to keep yourself happy especially until your bundle of joy is here... try to avoid asking questions that you already know the answer to- if you know he dropped $300 at the bar don't ask how much he spent, try to use the "I feel" rather than the "You did" approach-- if you need to talk about something that's fine but try to put yourself in his shoes and try to word your questions to sound concerned and not interrogational, demanding, accusing, hurtful or disrespectful... congrats & good luck- i'm sure you 2 will be fine just make sure he knows that this whole thing is bothering you too! & I'm sorry for turning my answer into a short book!  

Answer 5

as you are a pregnant girl and my master advses the prospective mothers to speak to the child[soul] by inviting to join us with love. speak to the child when ever you are free; so that they will be brought up with love and affection. they are future generation of the universe. they must be affectionately brought up. it is our minimum duty. pray god to help you. best of luck.