What can i do in this situation?!?

Question

I have been married to a soldier for 2 yrs. we have a 6y.o daughter and I am 8 mos. pregnant with our 2nd child.

Well we've been separated for 7mos. we both live in diff. states and of course I have our daughter. This whole time that we've been separated he has only sent money once! I'm stuck trying to support our daughter by myself and on top of that getting everything ready for the baby. Isn't there some kind of military law that says even though we are separated he still has to support us?! or atleast his kids?!

FYI: I decided to leave him bc he was abusive and unfaithful!!! Me and my daughter were stuck up there not knowing anybody w/o no car and w/o any money!! He would constantly kick me out of "his apartment" and not let me drive "his car". And I think me & my daughter deserve more than that!!!

Answer 1

I think your best solution after reading your additional details is to have formal seperation/divorce papers filled with a request for a child support as part of the seperation/divorce.  They can give a temporary child support order until the divorce process is completed.  I do not believe the military is going to make him do anything without a legal document saying he has to.  I know that is probably not what you want to hear.  It is a tough situation you are in and I really hope it gets better soon.  Oh and yes you and your daughter definitely deserve more.

Answer 2

Actually...if you have proof of the date of separation, you can get his 1SG and Commander involved.  If he is still receiving full BAH for claiming you and your daughter as dependents and you're not living with him...that is BAH fraud...especially if you are legally separated and he has not paid you any of that BAH.

If you have PROOF that he has a girlfriend, which if he talks about it with his friends at work and she shows up around the unit, then he can get charged with adultery.  He will also be issued a no-contact order so he cannot see this girl anymore.  If it is found that he is in violation, he could be charged with UCMJ.

In any case, he owes you the BAH.  If push comes to shove, take him to court because you can request child and spousal support even though you're separated.

If you know anyone in your Family Readiness Group or any of the other Army spouses in his unit, contact them as well.

Answer 3

go through his chain of command. Don't expect to go strait to his commander.  They are way to busy and you'll be blown off.  First Shirts are the guys your looking for.  You are entitled to a housing allowance, and support for the children.  You still have all your benefits for medical if needed. Before you go accusing him of charges, think of it as a chess game.  Get what you need to supplement.  If you want to make accusations, make sure you have positive evidence.  And while adultry is a crime in the military, you actually have to get evidence of it. Pretty much pictures of them having intercourse.  Kissing doesn't count.  I'm just telling you this to help you out.  As soon as you go on there and start yelling, screaming, and making accusations with no proof, they are going to write you off as a nut case and side with their troop... definitely continue to pursue this in a civilian court....  

Answer 4

once you go through with a divorce you can state all this.  you can also threaten to tell his superiors if he doesn't pay you now.  the court may rule that he has to pay child support and back pay you for these past 7 months.  they can garnish his wages and as long as he stays in the military you will always get paid child support.  go to a legal office on a nearby base and they will be able to help you.  you may also call his commanding officer and he will help you as well.  you are entitled to a lot, so get what you deserve.  

Answer 5

Call Jag (the military laywer ppl) and tell them whats going on..they can give you advice on what to do and how to do it...Or if you have his commanding officers number call IT!!!!  You can even call your FRG (family readiness group) and ask them for help. If you get ahold of any of these ppl they will help you!!! Trust me the military will not let this fly once they find out about it!!!! Good Luck

Answer 6

Contact his chain of command or talk to someone at a local Army post.  

Answer 7

it is illegal

because my parents are divorced and he needs to send whatever the amount the court makes him send for child support once a month

and if he's not he can get arrested

if your not divorced yet, i would take him to court and get the money you deserve

you deserve better than that

Answer 8

File for divorce and then file for child support. Once you do that you get a court order and you bring it to the financial department and they take it out of his paychecks and there is nothing he can do about it. Until then, he can do whatever he wants.

Answer 9

Legally youre entitled to his BAH. He gets that for his family so they have housing. Call up JAG. Dont let him do that to you or your kids.

Answer 10

You must start a complaint going through his chain of command or go to the nearest Family Readiness Group in your area. These are usually located at a local Army National guard Amory.

Answer 11

File for divorce and all this will be taken care of, also when my husbands dad was in Germany and my husband ( he was a baby) and his mother were here in the states he did the same thing. He didn't send money or support them. So my husbands grandmother ( who was supporting them) sent his commanding officer a letter telling him what was going on. With that being done the commanding officer made him file the paper work for allotments to be sent to his wife and son. So if you aren't divorced yet that could be something you could do. Also if you filed any type of spousal abuse charges he should be kicked out of the military. With abuse charges they are not allowed to carry weapons making them useless to the Army. My prayers are with you and your daughter.  

Answer 12

This is a civil matter.

You need to file for divorce and get a child/spouse support ruling in place that can be enforced by local law enforcement.

You can contact his command.  Explain that you are separated and that he has refused to provide any support for you and his child.

They will make him provide some support because he is collecting BAH and he is required to support his child.  It probably will not be as much as you would like and probably not as much as a court will give you. This can also be temporary (until you go to court), so you have to file for divorce.  If his command issues a temporary order then it runs out before you file for divorce - it will be your fault for not filing and they may not issue another order.

Don't expect the command to go blazing into action to give you everything and bring him up on charges.

Like I said at the beginning, this is a civil matter. The rumors that a soon-to-be ex-wife can call a command and get everything are not true.

A few too many angry soon-to-be ex-wives have called commands with wild stories and the military no longer listens to them.