What can i do so my 4 years old son go to school without all the crying?

Question

my son started pre school 2 weeks ago and he just cries everytime granddad pick him up and take him.what kind of dicipline or what words can i use for him to understand that im getting frustrated and he needs to stop with all that,that he needs to go to school and stay and not cry?

Answer 1

This is a common problem. Just relax . You are 1 among the parents who is facing the same problem.

Initially don't force him to go to school.

go along with him stay there for some time and come back home.

Let him know that school is a safe place for him just like home and teacher is just like his mother.

Talk to him about school, friends, Your childhood experiences, how much fun you had in your schooldays, fun in learning, playing with friends etc etc........

Assure him that school is a safe place for him.

Please don't be harsh to him when cries to go to school.

Talk to his teacher and take her help.

Invite his teacher for tea in his presence and let him feel that she is not a stranger.

Give a positive reinforcement when he goes to school without crying and stay there.

Praise him for his work in his school, like if he has drawn or colored or scribbled or sung a rhyme.

Show his work to his father or grand parents or somebody else and let them appreciate him for his work which make him confident.

Be patient , take his teachers help its not that big problem.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I think there may be 2 reasons this may be happening, but first let me say that discipline is not the answer, as a pre k teacher myself, I have realized that the child will not stop just because you are frustrated, he wants you to understand why his is frustrated. I think it may be one of 2 reasons, 1 ....... He may feel he is being treated unfairly at this school, and if that is the case he may need to go to a different school and the school should be warned that he needs a little extra TLC to get him over the hump of being the "New Kid" ........... the second may be that if he is ahead in his academics he may need a different kind of program to not be bored, he may want to be challenged in that instance I recommend a more school like program, such as a head start type program where it is more like a school day but less intense. I currently teach in a head start program and we test the children for placement both socially and academically and we feel that this helps the child adapt easier by being with children more at their level...... I hope this helped a bit!

Answer 3

When he is crying he is telling you he wants you to stay, which you cant.  Just act like nothing is wrong.  Give him hugs and kisses and say "Have a good day. I love you. Good-Bye."  He probably stops crying within 5 minutes of you leaving.  Talk to his teacher about ways the center helps new children cope.  Make sure you are giving him POSITIVE attention when you are with him and have a positive attitude toward preschool.

His intelligence and his emotions are two different things.  He's only four, its okay for him to cry because he will miss his mom.  He's not doing anything wrong.

I agree with the blanket and picture.  If its a small school you may even beable to call him.

Answer 4

well i am in high school but i went through a class called early childhood care and what the best thing to do is just drop him of in school and just walk away. Another thing I heard was that the child some times doesnt want to go to school so they can stay home and watch tv in which most cases they all want to do that, but a good way to test this problem is to have a teacher watch him and see how he does without you or who brought your child there and see if it just was for attention or some other need.

Answer 5

Ok...so my son is about to start pre-school and I hope this can help. Do you know why he is crying? Have you asked him? Does he cry IN school, or just when grandpa shows up? Why? My son is very intelligent too. He knows his letters, numbers, how to write his name and tell time. But also...I talk to him...A LOT! Usually when he cries I talk to him about why before anything else unless I know he's crying cause he didn't get what he wanted (like a toy from his sister). But if you haven't spoke to him you need to. And reassure him about why he has to go to school and how it's a good thing. And don't make it negative...like "I gotta work sop OH WELL!" Really talk to him. My son has become very open with me and he can share his feelings. Even though we shou;dn't be governed by them...we can't help but know they are there. And it could be dangerous that you don't talk to him in detail. A friend of mine just found out her 1st grade son is being sexually harassed by another boy in his class...and that's why he's been crying about school (both coming and going). Children need to be talked to and loved on and only disciplined when it's ridiculous (like crying because someone has something you wanted to have...repeatedly crying about it). So see what's going on and talk to his teacher. They probably have some idea as to how he's behaving IN school at least. And talk to him and see if grandpa knows anything too. It could be something more serious than what you think. All problems can be fixed with a simple acknowledgment to the problem.

    I know it's tough as a parent to have to work and do things so the child HAS to go to school or daycare...especially if you're a single parent. But do not neglect the child...find out what is bothering them asap. Hope all goes well.

Answer 6

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but . . . Your son is experiencing some pretty strong feelings about going to school.  For a little kid, the feelings don't make sense to him, and it's too much for him to understand and control.  Crying is a very appropriate way for a four year old boy to express those overwhelming feelings.  

The fact that you are frustrated is something you need to deal with, not him.  He probably senses your frustration too, which adds to the confusing emotional energy he's experiencing.  

You would do best to comfort him by being consistent, loving, and by not reacting to his crying as if it were such a big deal.  Assure him, by not getting upset, that going to school is nothing to be upset about, and that his crying is okay.  If you make it a big deal, so will he.  Just tell him you love him, smile for him, kiss and hug him and let him go.  He'll eventually figure out for himself that he can handle the experience after all, that mom wasn't worried about it.  

Remember that there is nothing you can say to a child to make him understand things the way you want him to, or to make him feel comfortable.  

No one can make you feel comfortable about a situation when you're clearly not comfortable about it.  You have to discover for yourself.

Answer 7

Please keep in mind that he's only a child.  Yes, they do cry to manipulate at times, but mostly that type of crying is out of frustration.  Professionals will tell you to keep the same exact routine every morning.  Make saying goodbye brief, but filled with love.  Never show your emotions if you feel bad when he leaves.  Sound slightly perky, but not happy that he's going to school.  There's also alot of children's books you can check out at the library to read together...just make an example of all of the brave little characters taking the "big kid" journey to school.  All of the talk in the world isn't going to change the fact that he'd rather be home with you.  And if you think about it, that's the biggest compliment that he could ever give you!

Answer 8

He does not need to be disciplined, or told he is wrong or bad to cry.  No matter how intelligent a child is, they still experience separation anxiety, especially if this is the first time he has been away from you!

When I get new students, especially ones who have not been in school previously, I ask the parent to send in a family photo, and sometimes something special to the child (like a special blanket).  Also, I recommend to the parent that the read the book The Kissing Hand to their child.  Also, give him a set guideline as to when he will see you again, i.e. I will pick you up after snack, after nap, after playtime, etc.

Answer 9

Don't discipline him!

That is not what he needs.. he is four years old.

He is probably just scared to leave you. Just letting him know that you will always come back to get him and stuff should help. IT is hard for him.. he doesn't need punished.

Answer 10

Stay with him for 10 minutes and with a teacher, then quietly leave and wait out side for another 10 mins, if he cries come back and if he doesn't then you can go.

Answer 11

well you could give him a soft animale dog or what ever toy and (i would get two) and give it to him so that now he has a little firend to go with

Answer 12

this.is.common.for.the

first-timers..coz.things.are.

new

.to.him.but.until.a.month.or.

so.u'll.find.changes.coz.he'll.

start.

to.have.a.new.friends

and.also.it's.necessary.to

.talk.with

.his.teacher.and.u.can.

work.this.thing.out.together

i'm.a.preshool.teacher

and.seen.lots.of.kids

with.this.situation

also.participate.in.every.

activities.in.school.to.improve

.his

socialization.and.confidence

Answer 13

We are going through this at our day care right now.

We have a family with two children.  Both boys.  They have stayed with grandparents.  They finally pulled the three year old because he cried so much. (he also was not potty trained so he had to stay in the toddler room.)

The other boy stayed all summer and is now in kindergarten.  He is still very upset alot.  If the time changes that they pick him up for instance. He is close to several teachers and that helps.  He is doing better each week and I have confidence that he will be fine everyday soon.  

He is a little boy.  He loves you and misses you.  No discipline.  Rewards like storys and special mom time when he get home.  

I hope that he is only crying close to the time he knows he is being picked up. (yes they do know.  I have been involved in day care for 20+ years.  They are so smart.  I have had kids who are fine all day and as soon as 4 or 5:30 comes around the tears start.

Talk to the teacher.  See what she thinks.  

What ever you do DO NOT GIVE UP.  That will be the worst thing you could do.  Give it time.  If he has never been away from you before than please give it a few months.  I know its frustrating but just keep reassuring him.  No matter how long it takes.  It's worth it in the long run.

They grow up fast.  My son is five and is so independant sometimes and I'm thankful for the times I still am needed.

You don't say how many days he goes and for how long. Why his granddad is picking him up/taking him.  Is there a new baby? That could make a difference.  This is a big change in his life.  Preschool is scary with all different rules, people, kinds of kids and routines.  Some kids just take to it and others need time.

Good Luck.  He sounds like a great kid.

Think of it this way.  He will not be wanting to be with you on prom night or even in the 6th grade and many other times.  He will be fine.  Just give him so time to adjust.

Answer 14

I know this is going to sound stupid coming from a 16 year old but I'll say it anyway. I know it's frustrating, but just deal with it. When I was little, I did the same thing in daycare and preschool, it stopped when I was in kindergarten though. When I got to the first grade, I cried again, it was because I didn't like the teacher and she was mean and I missed my mom. What my mom did was give me something of hers that I could carry with me everyday. It really helped, it was weird how something so small gave me that much comfort. After that I was fine, to this day, I'm fine. Oh, and no, I don't carry that little pin she gave around. Maybe you should try it with your son. Just a thought though. Hope this helps!

Answer 15

Everyone is telling you what to do. I am going to tell you what not to do.

1. No discipline

2. Do not linger around. If his crying is making you stay, he knows this.

3. Do not have a look of sympathy on your face.

4. Do not have a look or feeling of anger or embarrassment.

5. Do not turn around when you drop him off.

6. Do not come back!

Ok here is one thing to do~do know he is in a safe environment. And maybe you should have waited until he is 5 years old...maybe.