Such A Foolish Girl
I grab out to hold you, to steady my life, but your movements are swift and i lie face down in the dry, cracked dirt. Tears swell up in the corner of my eyes and roll helplessly down my cheecks like a never ending river of pain and sadness. I reach up to touch you again but you jump back, almost like you think of me as a killer disease. You walk away and turn your back on me for the last time
My heart wants to burst into a million, sharp fragments but i try to keep myself sane as i pull myself together. My whole body feels numb with pain and i bite down on my lips to keep myself from screaming your name. Blood drips down from my lips from bitting too hard but i am oblivious to it. People stare at me with pity in their eyes yet i can tell they think i am a freak
I close my eyes and allow myself to drown in my misery. All the times you've said you've loved me appear in my head and i grab my hair tightly to keep from screaming. The words in that e-mail saying it was over replay in my head over and over again. I can't take anymore of my self-torture and i let myself go
I sob out your name but you're already miles away to hear. The numbness in my body goes away and is replaced by a burning fire that starts in my heart. It slowly snakes its way through my entire body, enjoing my pain every second. I do not do anything to stop the demonic snake because i have already given up. I close my eyes, letting my body be consumed with hate for myself
When i open my eyes again, i can feel the softness of my pillow. I look around franticly around the room to see where i am. It takes me a few minutes to realize that i am in my room and i sigh softly as i lay myself back down on my bed. After a few minutes of complete silence, something is eating me alive. That terrible nightmare i had was true. The most important person in my life doesn't love me anymore
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