What can i do?please help me :(?

Question

ok..long story

i just move to another city and i feel so F***n down

right here theres nothing to do. i thought it was going to be fun cause my cousins told me that we were going to go to partys and u know.

and still it hasn't happen they never have time for me but their boyfriends and i feel really sad when i see them with their bfs and i feel so down right here cause i left my friends my bff and the boy i love in my old town and im trying to convince my mom to let me come back with my grandpa and my mom doesnt wants to because she thinks that i want to go back where i used to live only because of the my ex and friends and i get really sad cause i really want to go back and she tells me that she needs help cause i have to take care of my brother and sister when shes not home but i dont think its fair that she only thinks of her and not me cause i really need my friends and more at my age(16) i have been crying everyday since we move and i dont only want to go back because of my friends and love but because i wanted to graduate from the high school that was over there because the on in here is of very low education and they will give me all kinds of classeess and i used to only take the basics in my old school and i dont know what to tell my mom so i can convince her that i really want to finish school in my old town.. :( can u ppl give me some advices?

Answer 1

You poor thing.  At your age, the most important thing is to have a good social life and feel that you fit in.  I remember when I was 16 my family had completely broken down and I moved in with my boyfriend, lost all of my friends and my family.  And I was only 5 kilometres from where I used to live!  

It was the biggest learning experience of my life, I had to work on my self-esteem a lot because I had no-one to rely on but myself for emotional support (my boyfriend was a drop-kick useless drug addict and so were all of his friends).  It is so important that you keep in contact with your old friends - I didn't really do that because I thought no-one would really care to talk to me now that I was leading such a different life, and wasn't always in contact with them (feeling you can't call an old friend to talk is a possible sign of depression, actually) when actually, people are usually over the moon when they hear from an old friend!  It's like the old saying, it's nice when strangers become friends, but it's awful when friends become strangers.  

I think it is important that you talk to your mother as much as you can, try to find a counsellor to talk to on a regular basis (maybe one at your school if you can't go to a private therapist) and keep a diary of how you are feeling.  Try to make the most of any new opportunities you have in your new town, do the best you can at school, even though you don't like it there.  I'm not entirely sure why your mother has an issue with you wanting to be back around your friends.  It's also a bit much for her to expect you to stay simply to help her out.  Sit down and talk about the possibility of return visits if you can stay with your grandfather in your old town.  That can make the transition easier for you and your mother.  If you have no choice but to stay, your best and only real option is making the most of what you have, rather than think about the past and how things could have been.  If you get through this experience it will make you a much stronger, happier and self-sufficient person, and you will have learned a very valuable life skill.  It's a matter of learning now, or learning later when the damage (social, family, psychological, health) is already done.  I don't mean to scare you, but I don't want you to go down the same road as I did, and you don't have to do that if you take action now.

At your age, you are still very impressionable and learning about yourself and the world, and you are at the age where you are expected to behave like an adult while still being treated like a child (i.e. you have been told you must live in a certain town and have no say in the matter, like a child, but you are being expected to deal with it like an adult).  And any sort of crisis at your age must be addressed straight away before you get worse.

Please see a counsellor or psychologist if you can, because moving could have triggered depression in you.  And even when the opportunities come up, please try not to get too involved in your friend's party culture.  That's a really hard habit to break, because you forget how to entertain yourself and socialise any other way.

Do some research on the internet on stress and depression in people in your age group.  

A good website for your mother to read would be:

http://www.webackload.com.au/backloading...

I'm sure there are so many things I just haven't thought of, but I will get back to you when something comes to me.

Answer 2

transitions are never easy....speaking from several such transitions exp, i'd say, hang in there girl...you'll soon become comfy...all the best.

Answer 3

so come to me to israel we will have fun and you will not be bored

Answer 4

Aww sweetie. Well if you think about it,it is whatever you mom does say! Stop crying because you will make new friends and a new boyfriend and then you'll think 'why was i even crying i wasted alot of time'.Maybe you could convice your mom if you could have a few vacations down to live with your grandpa.Then you could meet with your old friends.

Hope this helps

Christie

x

Answer 5

OK, so what you are saying is that you are disappointed that your cousins don't pay as much attention to you as you expected. You have to work harder at school because you have to meet higher standards than the ones at home, & your life in this new place didn't turn out to be the great big fun party you thought it was going to be.

What you are learning here is that there are consequences for your actions, & decisions whether they be good or bad.

Given the chance the consequences of your decision to stay there might be that you will get a better education, (your grammar & spelling is a testament to that), you will meet new friends, & maybe you will learn to think & do a little research before you make your next life changing decision.

The sadness you are feeling is normal. People resist change, & your depression & sadness is a temporary reaction to the unforeseen changes that have come about in your life as a result of your decision to move. Stay focused, & move ahead with your new life determined to make a go of it, & you will soon find that things will work out for the best.

Answer 6

Pray first and keep talking to your mom

Answer 7

just learn to adapt the environment in your new town and everything will be fine. trust me. i've been down in that road once. --im still 14. lol.