What can i say?

Question

I thought my partner wanted to try again for a child after my miscarriage, but last night he told me he was concerned about trying while he is moving jobs just now.i was heartbroken.

I explained that we won't have a child here for 9 months or more, and it did kind of sway him. Thing is, we have actually don't have any financial worries. Our house is bought completley outright, no mortgage, we have no outstanding loans and we have been saving.

We haven't had much of a chat, but we will tonight. What can i say to reassure him. He really wants a child but i think he fears we won't be able to give it everything it wants, even although he has no reason to think that, apart from the job transition. However i must say i respect him being so sensible about it all.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

Your partner is probably just scared (terrified?) that it will happen again.  He must feel helpless and sometimes people forget that it's not just the woman that loses a baby.

He may need time to heal and recover from this.  Pushing him won't help and will create distance between you.

Reassure him by sharing your worries and showing that together you are strong and can overcome.  Tell him that sometimes miscarriages do happen but you can both help the smooth running of the pregnancy by eating well, regular check ups etc.

I really hope this helps and you can both resolve the issue.

good luck!

(p.s. don't forget to give him a cuddle!)

Answer 2

well i have an 18 month old daughter we rent our home, my partner works 6s days a week, we have a loan to pay off and hardly any savings, which is why we wont have another baby for a while.

but we have managed perfectly fine my daughter wants for nothing as me and my partner work hard, we dont have holidays or nice cars but we are happy.

if i was in your position rent and morgage free no debt and savings i would have another tommorow.

its not all about the money, but children are expensive.

do what ever makes you both happy but remember there will never be a right time to have a baby.

my advice is go for it. i promise you will NOT regret it children are a precious gift and a joy your life will never be the same but you will have so much more to look forward too good luck hope it works out for you x*x

Answer 3

Yeah yeah. I respect his views there too.

If I were you, Id tell him exactly what you just wrote there.

Youve convinced me to have kids! (:P)

But yeah. Given what I know of ur situation, I think you are easily able to have kids together. I say go for it.

Answer 4

well turn him on! buy massage cream and go t victoria secret! and talk to him and ask him. mabe take him to the therapist. i dont know. watch movies to turn you on. do anything you can! good luck!

Answer 5

I am going through the exact same thing, except my OH really doesn't want more since my MC back in March. I am now facing the prospect of ending my childbearing on a death :(

Just tell him what's in your heart. Reassure him that you love him for him and not his money. I rather suspect that he is grieving for the lost baby and this could be his way of telling you that he's not ready to try again. Give him some space but tell him you love him- I know that this is the hardest thing in the world when you are feeling these emotions, but you really shouldn't crowd him.

Best of luck x*x

Answer 6

maybe is just afraid of the loss again. i am sure it was pretty hard for both of you. Maybe he is just havng a hard time dealing with it

Answer 7

I think that it is wonderful that he is cautious and wants to make sure that he can provide for you guys. Sounds like you guys are financially set. Maybe you can adopt me (just kidding...I come with a husband and four kids).