What can i say to my friend?

Question

I have a friend who is younger than me(I am 32 she is 24). She looks to me for advice. She just found out she is pregnant. Problem is she is ery promiscuous and isn't sure who the father is. 2nd problem, one of the possibilities is that the baby may be fathered by a 15 year old boy. I know it was wrong, so does she. regret doesn't change the situation. Problem 3, she is considering an abortion. I am dead set against that and she knows how I feel. I need help on advice to give her, she is afraid of legal issues if the father turns out to be the 15 yr old. I need to know how she can turn this into a positive experience, one that can hopefully get her to straighten up. She has a son already, he is 7 and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know who his father is either, though she claims she does. Please help, any advice is welcome

Answer 1

Sounds like she needs to learn how to keep her legs closed! And a 15 year old? that is child rape and she can go to prison. I'm not sure anything you say to her will help or change the situation.  

Answer 2

Oh my.

I don't like abortion either, but since it sounds like she is very immature and has no business having another baby, maybe you could talk to her about putting the baby up for adoption. There are attorneys who do private adoptions and they have waiting lists of infertile couples anxious to adopt. All expenses are paid for the birth mom in many of these cases, too.

Frankly, she is going to be in a heap of trouble if the 15-year-old is the father. The age of consent for s*x in all US states is 16, 17, or 18, but in no state is it 15. If the kid's parents, or the authorities, want to pursue the matter, she could end up as a registered s*x offender for the rest of her life - which leads to a whole host of other things, like being treated like a leper, having trouble finding a job, not being able to live within a certain range of schools and daycares, etc. That's all after getting out of jail, of course.

She really needs to get her act together.  

Answer 3

Ok so i was reading your question and here is some advice. We all know that the 15 yr old thing was way wrong but getting the abortion is not the way to go bc it wasn't the baby's fault the way it came into this world but what she should do is just keep it to herself just to be on the safe side bc if she gets a dna test done for the 15 yr old and it comes back not the father then she is still gonna get in some trouble so why take the risk. I am sure that other ppl that respond might not like my advice but this is my best seeing that i've never been in this position. You said that she has a 7 yr old and you don't think she knows who the father is but she claims she does well why doesn't she just do it with this baby just claims she knows and go on raising the baby on her own cause there is nothing wrong with that and also if the 15 yr old is the father he is way to young not only that but she would be raising the baby on her own bc he can't even get a job yet. But that is all i can give you and her hope something i said helps.

Answer 4

sorry ur friend is sooo fueked up...im against abortion ..BUT....

Answer 5

first off, you need to set your opinions on abortion aside.  its not your place to push your agenda on her.

second, you need to contact the police. i dont care if its your friend, but she still raped a child.  do you have children?  at your age, its possible that you could have a child of that age, how would you feel if your child was sleeping with someone her age?  its sick and it needs to be brought to the authorities attention.

other than that, you just have to be there for her whatever she decides to do.  you might not agree with her lifestyle, but its her life and if she's made the mistake before and is now repeating herself, then she probably needs help professionally and you might need to try to lead her down that path, otherwise, she's not going to change.

Answer 6

i mean if you're against abortion just tell her since she already has children that a child is a gift and also doesn't asked to be brought into this world she is going to have to face the consequences and that she is going to need paternity tests to find out the baby's father in all do respect if doing the paternity test alone doesn't make her change her lifestyle nothing will that's embarrassing enough to me anyways tell her hopefully its a girl since she already has a son

Answer 7

the best thing for her to do would be to test the other possible fathers first, because if she even tests the 15yo it would be admitting that he is a possible father. If she tests all the other possible fathers (if it is possible) and it isn't theirs, then she knows that it is the 15yo's baby and she can either have an abortion, which I agree with you is wrong,  or pretend to not know who the baby's daddy is until he gets a little more age under his belt.

Be frank with her in this her time of need. I'm sure thats what she looks to you for.  and after you guys get through with this crisis, you should talk to her about why she is so promiscuous in the first time. that may be something she needs to get some counseling for.

GL to you both!

Answer 8

She ever heard of birth control? She should get an abortion and deal with that issue. She sounds like a very irresponsible person.