What can she do????

Question

My sister has been called to school many times about my 9 year old nephew, He has started fighting in the playground.

Yesterday a child punched him in the face and busted his lip then my nephew kicked this child.

School have sent him home for lunch last week and doing the same this week, also they have stopped him going on a school trip tomorrow an a school holiday in september.

What our problem is they have taken everything away an when my sister grounds him he dosnt seem to want to be good as he is always being punished.

School say next step is being suspended.

The other child has not been punished.

Also he got kept in the week before because a child passed wind in the class and my nephew laughed there seems to be the same punishment no matter how big the crime.

Answer 1

You either are looking at this through some rose colored glasses or you have elected to not give us the entire story.   From the snippits you give us, it appears to me that this boy needs some intensive intervention rather than punishment.  If he is simply defending himself, which I highly doubt, I would get him evaluated by the school's IEP team to see if he has some problems that effect his ability to grow socially.  He is certainly taking whatever bate the other boys are using to get him fired up.  This would likely end if he'd stop taking the bate.

If you are giving us the entire story, then this boy has likely pissed off some teacher or administrator at the school.  Do you know who it is?  Is someone in authority angry at you or this boy's parent for something?

Your story is incomplete and thus a proper answer can't be found here.  Have your sister get the answer from the school first.

Answer 2

if you think the school is not handling it the right way then you need to go to the school board.  teacher kid or not that child needs to be punished.  i am a teacher and i am harder on my own children then others.

Answer 3

Has your sister thought about switching his classrooms/teacher?

Some teachers are just not equiped to handle these situations & they already feel overwhelmed with a large class.

Some teachers are more experienced in handling this sort of situation..

If I were your sister I'd definetly talk to the principal about switching teachers..

Yes, it may be this other kid who's starting the fights OR it may not be..

Whatever the reason.... it's happening.

Your nephew needs to learn how else to handle bullies or instigators.

And he may need a different teacher who has the time and patience to help him.

The same thing happened to my friends son.  He's 10 yrs old & he'd get to school and just start fighting.  Kids would look at him and poke fun cause he has a lazy eye & he'd just get angry.

Now he gets off the bus with a buddy & they avoid that kid & he's also in another classroom, smaller class, better teacher!  And he's gone 4 months w/no fighting.. no suspensions and no calls home... one day at a time!

Answer 4

There is more than one issue at hand here.  First if it is only on the playground that it happens then the teachers need to make sure the kids are kept seperated.  Your sister could go to the school and sit on a bench out of sight and just watch but chances are it wouldn't matter because it would still be her word against the other mom who happens to be a teacher.  since the principle is unwilling to do anything except punish your nephew it is time to address the superintendant and the school board with the issue at hand and make a request in writing that the children be monitored and seperated during recess.  Let it be known that the other child punched your nephew and busted his lip and recieved no punishment for it and that you are contacting an attorney to set the record straight on that.  Second just because the other child is a teachers kid does not mean he above the rules all the other kids have to follow.  Go to his mother and explain it the same way you do to the school board and let her know you will file charges if it continues that it is your nephews right to get an education and to be free of harrassment while at school and unfair for her to use her position to protect her son from the same consequences.  

your nephew seems to have already been labeled a trouble maker and once a teacher puts this label on a kid then it sticks with them and anytime something happens he will be the one blamed for it even if he is innocent.  No child is going to care if they are punished in a severe way for a minor thing just the same as if it was a big thing instead they will start to feel it doesnt matter what they do they will loose everything anyway.  It should be equal for both boys but one has a mom who teaches and the other has a mom who doesnt so her son is the one who is the bad seed even though he is an A student.  Go to the super and school board then call an atorney, better yet call the attorney first.  When they see they have a mom that is not going to roll over and play dead and let them do what they want their attitude will change.

As far as punishing him at home.  When he isnt at fault and goes to defend himself it is hard to punish because after all he is defending himself, instead of the punishment being for kicking the kid it needs to be stressed that although defending yourself is good do it with words and not violence.  Explain to him that he lost lunch at school and the trips because he retaliated with violence and if he would have just walked away from it he wouldnt have been in trouble so next time walk away and go to the teacher show her the lip and tell them he wants to call his mom.  Let him know it takes a stronger person to walk away than to hit back and then when he doesnt take away a tv program he likes for a week or something that will get his attention.  Taking everything away will only make him resent it all even more.

Answer 5

if it is only on the playground then maybe she could go and watch one day from a distance.. or have the recess aids keep a closer eye on what is really going on.. well i think if everything is being taken away at school and then the same at home he is going to rebel.. its said because school its tough and kids are mean so we never know what exactly is going on.. i would try suggesting to your sister that maybe she should have a talk with him and maybe see if he can see the school councilor! good luck.. i hope everything turns out good for him!

Answer 6

ok first you have to check if you have the whole story. sorry i dont think you do. but your right the teachers kid will always be better looked after. there sounds like there is something between these two kids it would be a good idea to find out what it is.if the school is discriminating between the 2 kids defiantly have a go at the school for that. as for being punished, punishment is not a good way to teach behaviors. look up psychological learning theories

Answer 7

poor kid!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Our school has an SEU unit (for kids with special needs). We also have a special needs unit which coaches kids who need help  with a subject.  They have great results.