What can you do?

Question

I have been pretty snarley today but I have heard the same things over and over again. Can we come up with a list of things where people can plug in to make a change, however large or small. What can a person do to make a difference? How do they go about finding a place to jump in?

Answer 1

I try not to rant and have found that if you just close your eyes and jump....the water is warm, the sun is shineing, and you land right on a great big float.

Answer 2

I am new to this website, really to cyrberspace altogether!  I have enjoyed reading all of the questions.

I guess I am jsut a little naive.  I didn't realize that there was so much out there to get involved with.  

I really appreciate all of you, and I am willing to do whatever I can to help wherever I can!

I am and adult adoptee as well, I joined this website to find possible information about my birthfamily, but I feel that I have found much more in all of you!

Thanks again for everyone's opinions!

Answer 3

I'm really confused myself.  I don't know if you can ever totally strip down the foster care system and start over.  (but if you can i'd love to hear some ideas how)

I like to break huge problems into little bites.  As a mom of 5 i don't have much free time but my thought was I could offer free babysitting to struggling, single mothers.  Where to find these mothers, IDK?

I have went down the list and emailed everyone at my state capital in regards to open records for adoptees and foster/adoption reform.

They are such tiny steps idk if they really count at all.  I would love to hear ideas if these tiny steps are helpful or should we rally to do one big thing.  And what would that one really big thing be??

Gershom thanks for the great ideas of how a person can make a difference.  

Laurie thanks for the awesome question.  These are the kinds of things i would love to learn more about.

Answer 4

Lori,

It is telling that in 28 minutes you have had only one answer to your constructive question while Dwight has had 12 to his question.  Things are out of control. I'm not sure who is who as there seem to be multiple people changing avatars/names and they are attacking with reckless abandon.

But I digress.  I'd like to hear how we can improve foster care,  how can we help women in crisis make the best decisions possilbe, how we can educate a parents to be the best parents they can, how to help bio parents heal, and how we can assist adoptees who are experiencing pain and alienation.  I'd also like to be heard and respected as an adoptee who struggles with some things but is quite happy with my life as an adoptee.

BUT, I guess the extreme,  shocking, and rude is more entertaining.

ETA-Thanks Gershom.  More good info in that answer than in all answers combined this week.  Would have answered but didn't know how and wanted to support a good question.

Answer 5

Volunteer.  Here are a few ideas for places who always need volunteers:

Domestic violence organizations

Residential Treatment facilities

I would assume crisis pregnancy centers

Rape crisis centers (can be found, usually, through the DV organization)

DHS

And, here are some things you can do as a volunteer:

Take battered women and their children to appointments

Put together care packages for rape victims

Answer phones

Answer the hotline

Donate old clothes (rape kits usually include sweats, because the woman's clothes can be taken for evidence)

Read to kids

Babysit so that mom's can breathe for a few minutes

Donate food

Donate blood

Do facials for women in the DV shelter (I spent some of my volunteer time doing this, and it was AWESOME!  A little pampering goes a long way.)

Those are a very, very few places to go and things to do.  The list could be a million miles long.  Here are some other things you can do:

Keep reading and educating yourself.  The more you learn, the more you need to know.

Smile at people.  It's infectious.

Give lots and lots of random hugs.

Talk to people you disagree with - and find out WHY you disagree.  You might just be missing something important, which could take you in a whole new direction.

Talk to people you agree with - great things can happen when people get together.

Whatever you care about, start a group with other people who care about the same things.  And do something.  ANYTHING.

Answer 6

"Can we come up with a list of things where people can plug in to make a change, however large or small. What can a person do to make a difference? How do they go about finding a place to jump in?"

I assumed your question was about adoption? Interesting that nobody is answering, they're telling everyone to answer the question asked, although...they're not answering the question thats being asked themselves... what the?

What can you do to change the system?:

    *   Talk to everyone you know

    * Write a letter to the editor of your newspaper

    * Write a letter to the editor of another newspaper or magazine

    * Call your local radio talk show

    * Call your local TV station

    * Call or write your state legislative representative

    * Find a group that shares your beliefs and get involved with them

     * if you can't find one, make one, you're never alone in this world.

Do you know who your local state legislator is? Did you vote in the last statewide election? For example, In California, everyone has two legislative representatives who represent them in the state legislature:

    * the State Assembly member for your local Assembly District

    * the State Senator for your local Senatorial District.

Don't know who these people are? Find out!

To learn what to say for open records, how to say it and more visit: http://www.b******s.org/activism/influen...

The American Adoption Congress also has a wonderful reform section all wanting to make serious changes in the industry should read and utilize on their own mission.

http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/...

For foster care some groups I'm getting involved in are http://www.fostercarealumni.org and http://www.nationalcasa.org (thanks robin )

I was also passed this link on today which is a state based site, for California if anyone is in california this looks like a good site so far. It does have social workers which leaves me skeptical and I'll have to research more...

http://www.fostercarecentral.org

If you have clothing to donate to foster youth / kids you can list it for free on their site. Some people only get a pile of clothing dumped in their living room and they have to literally fight for it. What they got is what they got. Imagine if every single one of us listed a couple brand new things with price tags, or gift certificates, something as simple as a clothing store certificate. I just got a new job, and this is a small goal of mine.

If you are an adoptive parent and don't like the flow of me and my world of reform you'd probably fit in at http://informedadoptions.com they are pretty active in reform, and really active in international adoption awareness...check them out!

If you're an adoptee, a grip of adoptees involved in reform frequent http://www.adultadoptees.org

http://www.adoptionthreads.com used to have some good discussions, its kinda dead lately though...

Parents who've lost their children to adoption may like Origins, or...http://www.origins-usa.org

http://www.motherswithoutborders.org

http://www.orphancommunities.org/Home.as...

http://www.fao.org/Food/english/index.ht...

Answer 7

I think the essence of your question is:  How do we go about finding a place to jump in?

That is the quandary.  I know I’m willing to mentor a child.  I don’t do well with smaller children so I would like to ‘jump in’ with older kids (high school or junior high).  It would be awesome to be able to mentor a foster child from junior high and take him/her through their leaving the nest period & beyond.  In a way it would be like becoming an extended family for them.  

Obviously, I can’t jump in, in the middle of a program that doesn’t exist (or so I think – but I could be wrong).  I copied Gershom’s links and hope to find my way into discovering how to create a program that would make a difference in children’s lives, and be sanctioned by the proper authorities.  Ugghhhhh lot’s of work to be done…

But this raises another question for me.  Do only foster kids need a mentor that would help them learn the basics they need to succeed?  I’ve worked with kids in special education (living with their birth family) and regular ed. students that need that same attention.  Unfortunately, in our society not only do foster kid’s age out but some birth family kids age out and are thrown out as well.  

I agree totally that the U.S. needs some severe revamping of its foster program and adoption process.  Thanks to people like Bizzi and Gershom I’m getting educated and asking questions about these two systems.  Now I’m looking to ‘jump in’.  

Kudo’s to all who take the time and effort to educate us outsiders on what is happening to some of our children through foster care and adoption.

Answer 8

I will make a post once Shyning finishes translating everyones ideas on how to bring change we got tons of ideas but we could use peoples input.

I will agree to change my tone if other will do the same.

Deep down guys I am not an ********.

To be honest I am tired of being mean. It takes alot of effort.

It's easier for a civilized person to act uncivilized. Then it is for a uncivilized person to act civilized.

I do not like making you mad.  I do not like to cause discomfort but at times it's necessary.

If your not uncomfortable then you not learning.

I came here to challenge your beliefs and stir the pot.

I will post it tomorrow and give everyone a chance to cool down. And get your hearts in the right place.

We have tons of solutions. But I was not gonna waste them on people who didn't want to hear them.

But I can see that is no longer the case. In fact it's only a few people now that are an issue.

So what do you say?

Wanna help some kids?

Answer 9

.......

Answer 10

GREAT question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first ideas may not seem totally relevant, but I think all small ways we can positively affect any child's life, benefits all children.

1.  Join Big Brothers/Big Sisters and commit to spending time with a child who may be at risk for foster care or adoption.

2.  Volunteer at pediatric hospitals who have nurture programs for rocking and feeding newborns exposed to drugs/alcohol.  They will be soothed, begin to feel a connection to others, and then when parented (by whoever), will be more inclined to bond.

3.  Do respite foster care.  Give those who foster 24/7 a break for a few days or during illness or vacation so they can then return to their parenting.

4.  Volunteer at local homeless shelters by caring for children while mothers seek employment or training to become more self sufficient.

5.  Help to facilitate a Parents Anonymous group to support and educate parents at risk for abusing their children.  This may prevent a child from entering the system.

6.  Join CASA, Madres y Madres,  Baby Buddies, Moms Supporting Moms or other grass roots organizations which work toward family preservation.

7.  Lead Diversity Workshops in elementary schools to promote acceptance of ALL kinds of people and families, including step, foster, adoptive, single, g*y, L*****n, grandparents, transracial, mutiracial, international, and other kinds of parents/families.  

8.  Start a parenting class at the elementary/middle or high school level to teach and educate kids about responsible, active parenting.