What can you tell me about private infant adoption?

Question

We may consider adoption as a way to complete our family, but it would be imperative to us that the infant be caucasian, and less than 3 months old.

What would be the likelihood of this, and what costs are associated?

Answer 1

The usual process of applying with a private adoption agency in the US usually involves the agency's favoring people who don't have children already.  Many thousands of dollars are involved.

People do arrange private adoptions where the expectant birthmother selects the adoptive parents for her baby.  Sometimes these mothers change their mind.  They usually expect some kind of help with expenses.  There are attorney's fees.   Thousands of dollars, as far as I know, are involved.

There are people who take, as a foster child, very young infants into their home.  They tell the foster placement people they are looking for an infant to adopt and only take infants who MAY be placed for adoption.  There's essentially no cost to adopt this way, but it can take a while for a young enough infant to get placed.  Also, if it turns out the infant is not placed for adoption the family may be attached to him/her and be faced with either continuing to care for him/her as a foster child (only to be separated later) or else quitting as a foster mother and letting an attached, older, baby be placed somewhere else.  Its very emotionally risky.

Social workers, though, usually have a good idea of which babies will be adopted.

Answer 2

You're stuck in the dark ages, lady.  I have read your other questions and answers.  Your views of society in regards to mixed races and foster children and women's roles are warped.  I hope your daughters realize that your household is unhealthy and your views are dangerous.  Makes me wish CPS would intervene, because the way you are raising them should be considered child abuse.  I hope no agency or lawyer ever considers you as an adoptive parent.  It's the people like YOU ("I want a white baby, not some screwed up foster kid") that we rant and rally against.  You're not fit to be a parent to your own children let alone some poor scared woman's child.

Answer 3

Very possible, contact a home for unwed Mothers

Answer 4

Contact Mercy Ministries of America.  They are in Nashville Tennessee and some other states as well.  There are girls there who give there babies up for adoption right after birth.  I lived there when I was pregnant but chose to keep my daughter.  I wittnessed a few girls give up there babies and be sent home with the new parents.  You will find out everything you need to know from them.

Answer 5

likelihood:  based on your answers and philosophies regarding race-mingling, child rearing, discipline and your gendered approaches to raising children..

not an ice-cube's chance in h**l...

Answer 6

Imparative? May I ask why?

EDIT:

Forget it, I just came back and saw all your answers.

Please keep a copy of all your answers, 20 years from now, if not sooner, you're going to be kicking yourself silly. I am going to bet your husband will go through a mid-life crises and dump you for some woman he works with. He very well could be having an affair now and knows he can get away with it because you submit to him. One day you're going to wake up broke and homeless because you didn't take care of yourself. I really hope you'll wise up. I once thought like you, but thank goodness I found myself.

You might want to take some college classes on childhood development. Judging from your answers, you'll learn alot. You need to. What you are thinking, saying, and teaching your children is wrong on so many different levels.

Best wishes to you and your children.

Answer 7

From my research, unless you have stellar characteristics (your hubby's an M.D., you're a genius stay at home mom who sclupts, who lives on a farm raising ponies, with tons of $$$), you're gonna wait a few years and probably pay out the nose. Expect at least $30,000. Why so narrow parameters?

Answer 8

Are you a Christian? Based on your previous questions, I assume you are. I just want to tell you that I am too, but I totally disagree with your ideas on race. My husband is Middle Eastern (like Jesus) and my son is Mexican/African American. We have a wonderful family and it saddens me that you look down on people who aren't like you. That is exactly the opposite of what the Bible teaches. Here are some Biblical principles that don't back up what you believe:

Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him. Acts 10:34-35

1Jo 3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

Jesus was not a Christian. He was a Jew; he was born a Jew, he lived as a practising Jew, and he died a Jew.

Jesus was asked once, "Who is my neighbor?" and Jesus replied by telling the story of the good Samaritan? Did you know that in Jewish culture Samaritans were a hated race? Saying "Good Samaritan" in Jesus day was like saying in Mississippi in the 1930's a story about the Good black person. That's exactly how Jews felt about Samaritans. Jesus didn't care. That's why he always upheld the Samaritans in the Bible.

Paul, the first father of the Christian Church, prayed with the Ethiopians [Acts 8:29-35], the Greeks, the eunuchs, the gentiles, and the Europeans

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." [Galatians 3:28]

Moses wanted to marry a dark skinned woman. Miriam and Aaron didn't approve. God made them deaf and have leprosy until Moses begged God for their forgiveness.

Jesus himself wasn't white. He was Middle Eastern with dark skin and dark hair. What will you say to him when you get to heaven? That you're better than him because you're white?He'll make sure you don't intermingle races for eternity if that's what you believe!

Answer 9

If you want an white infant you can expect to pay quite a deal of money I’m talking thousands. When my aunt and uncle adopted they spent in total about 65 thousands dollars, some of that money was them taking care of the birthmother and her medical bills, providing monthly food for her, and they even put in a phone line and paid for that during her pregnancy.  From your posts I’m not sure many people would want you to adopt their baby, unless they have the same old fashioned  beliefs as you. Its quite clear from your past posts that your children are not truly free to be themselves.

Answer 10

You're pro-life, yes?  Then check with a crisis pregnancy center about offering to adopt a baby whose mother may otherwise choose abortion.  You'd still have to go through proper channels, but I'm sure they would be able to direct you as to the steps to take -- and you would also be walking the talk.

Answer 11

Do the potential adoptive child a favor, Don't!!! For the love of God please do not adopt an innocent child!!! You'll scar them for life!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

You replied like this!!!

"Well, this is why there's a very good reason for not intermingling races."

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

"You don't sound equipped to handle children, and you must be careful of foster children anyway, as they are very often trouble."

I recommend that you tell any agency that agrees to work with you those two views that you hold.

Answer 12

i dont really think ur chances are good .... because there is like a 3 yr wait on most newborns in america ...ive been told the cost is between 20,000- 40,000

Answer 13

There many children available for adoption.  Check out www.lifetimeadoptions.com.  They have a max fee of $20,000 but can work with any budget. Also you should be able to get a new born within the year.

Answer 14

Hi OldFashionedMom,

After browsing through some of your previous questions & answers, along with this one, I see some aspects that may be troubling to any agency or expectant mother considering approving you as an adoptive home.  

For example, your philosophy on corporal punishment.  It is generally accepted that there are more appropriate methods to discipline children than to spank them.  One of your answers stated you would still spank your children even if it were illegal.

Another example, your daughter who is a bit of a tomboy.  If children have interests or talents in sports, most professionals would agree they should be free to pursue that, and you have expressed that girls should not be allowed to play sports or do outdoor activities.  Your views on raising girls in general seems to be out of the modern mainstream  (i.e. girls should stay home and sew and clean and cook and take care of the males.)  Adoptive parents should be willing to encourage their children's talents & interests, even if those are different from their own.

Homeschooled children, while they often get an excellent academic education, are often lacking in socialization opportunities with other children.  Combine that with some of your religious views like being opposed to many popular, harmless children's literature such as Harry Potter, and you might not be selected unless the relinquishing parents also hold the same strict, stereotypical views that you do on raising children.

If you tried to go through foster care, you would probably face obstacles too, in light of the fact that you disapprove of biracial children and you stated that foster children are mostly trouble.

You might also want to address why you feel it is so important for the child to be an infant and also Caucasian.  Adoption is about finding homes for children so that you can meet THEIR needs, not about filling orders for families.  You should know that children who fit the description you are requiring & are also available for adoption, are extremely rare.  They are not necessarily better than any other children.  Children are children.  They all deserve to be loved and cared for in the best possible homes available.  It's not always measured in how much money you have.  In all reality, I do not feel you are ready to be an adoptive parent at this time.  Sorry.

julie j

reunited adoptee