What causes a woman to be sexually submissive?

Question

Is it just a personality some people have? Or does it tend to stem from childhood abuse or something? Or a combination of certain types of experiences? I've googled it but I haven't had luck finding much.

What causes some women to enjoy dominated... pushed against walls, having rough s*x, being bitten, etc.? ...as opposed to other women who would be turned off by the very suggestion of being dominated?

Answer 1

well sometimes I like it soft and conservative or when he slaps me on the behind and pulls my hair. and I like it other times when I have him chained and beating him with my belt. so I think it depends on personality and the will you have. some things are not for some people.

Answer 2

Hi There Bad Seed,

Indeed what does cause women to be sexually submissive...?

I guess others might ask in response what causes a man to become sexually submissive.. ? A powerful sexually aggressive woman perhaps...?

s*x is always a power struggle... and men have had the tendancy to be "on top" for pretty much ever... I mean the idea of an aggressive woman in bed leads to words like s**t w***e and other demeaning terms being used about her anyway... so really why would a woman want to be dominant in the bedroom.. this may be the reason many women are more likely to be submissive... guys tend to like to be the boss and many women like to be liked!

About Rough s*x and being bitten etc. I'm not sure whether that's being dominated or just having good passionate s*x and being in the moment!!

I hope this helps a bit!

V.

http://BestVibes.ca

Answer 3

I am definitely on the submissive side.  I'm not "broken" in any way.  I have good self-esteem and can relate well with people.  I depend on myself only to take care of myself, meet all my financial needs and basically take care of things in my life.  I'm in charge of my life.  Through exploration of my sexuality, I found that it excites me to be dominated in the bedroom.  I love it when my partner is in charge.  I love it when my partner tells me what to do.  I love being my partner's living s*x toy.  But the thing is, even though I'm the submissive one, I'm also really the one in charge because none of these things would happen without my consent.  Also, just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I just lie there and take it.  I'm equally, if not more, active than my partner during the act.

I simply accept it as a natual part of my sexuality and as long as it gets me off, why should I question it?

Answer 4

I'm sure it's different for everyone, so I can only speak for myself. I think I was born with an inclination towards sexual submission - in childhood games, I was always the one who liked to be caught and tied up etc. - and that developed with the help of quite a conservative upbringing, where sexual expression was discouraged. I've never been abused in any way.

For me, sexual submission goes along with having a very submissive personality, but that's not the case for everyone. A person's sexual style can be very different to their usual character.

If you'd like to know more, have a look on some BDSM forums - this is quite a common topic of interest. :)

Answer 5

it pleasures me to do something he wants to do. and there is nothing rong with doing things fr your gf/bf

Answer 6

Good question...but I don't think it has anything to do with self esteem issues or former abuse.  Women like these come from all walks.

Answer 7

Usually it comes from TRUST & RESPECT of their sexual partner.

Those who manipulate it through violence (verbal, or physical) usually end up getting pay-backs.  Example ... Attila the Hun was executed by an Irish Phillie who he was mean to ... Lorania Bobbit ... Need I say more?

Answer 8

Self esteem issues, yes you can make an argument that it is a preference, but it started with self esteem

Answer 9

Some women like it because they enjoy relinquishing all control in a safe environment, which is completely impossible in the 'normal', outside world.

Answer 10

Many women have a great desire to be desired and find it arousing, but apparently don't have the reciprical or balanced desire desire straight to men without the desire coming because their loved one wants it and liking it because he likes it and not genuinely because of the desire and appreciation of men's bodies itself. It seems like many women's sexuality is self-oriented, which does not mean selfish as in not giving oral s*x or what not and enjoying it, but regarding the arousal coming from within and then towards her man. Yes, as essence showed, men like to be desired as well or it shown a decent amount of times from their desire towards their woman or some balance to it.

Answer 11

I have no idea, I'm not like this...................... I have a dominant personality I geuss.

Answer 12

I think someone women are very strong spirted and they have to be in control all the time so the thought of being sexually submissive makes them freak out (whether that has to do with trust issues i dont know)

Then there are other women who are very independent but sometimes they just want to relax and not have the pressure of making all the decisions in the bedroom

Answer 13

don't know, depends on the mood for me. I guess I'm a pretty strong woman so that doesn't  threaten me & I can enjoy...less strong personalities probably don't need that kind of stress? maybe , don't know. I could say the same about men ,too...never met one that doesn't like to be dominated...don't know from personal experience, but I'm guessing the more 'easy going' guys wouldn't like it so much.

Answer 14

Depends on the mood.

Answer 15

It is just the way some people are.  I was certainly never abused, but I always had submissive sexual feelings, even before I knew what submissive feelings were.  however, I don't care for anything rough, I like my husband to be forceful, but not violent.

I would suggest that the you try looking at the Taken In Hand website, at www.takeninhand.com, which is about people who are in, or interested in, male-led relationships.  There are articles on there about rough s*x and similar subjects, among others.

Answer 16

It's different with each one, but it's safe to say that the healthiest submissives are so because it is either in their nature, or because that is how they "let their hair down."

But that's just a theory. All I really have is personal experience. My partner is naturally submissive. I've known her ever since we were kids, and even back then I was the "senior partner." If anything, the growing trust and love between us brought out more of our dominant and submissive tendencies.

The more we knew each other, the more comfortable I became with exercising authority, and the easier it was for her to submit. Now that we know each other's needs and limits as well as the backs of our own hands, we have established a kind of symbiosis. We're so transparent to each other that I don't often need to tell her what to do, and she doesn't usually have to ask for what she wants.

Some of the 'plain vanilla' couples I know tell me that, though put off by the property context of our relationship, they envy the level of trust that we share. And, frankly, I am more than a bit jealous of how readily society accepts *their* brand of relationship. Every time my partner and I are out in public, we have to pretend we're something we aren't, and it's draining.

Answer 17

I like it because it is nice to feel desired. It makes me feel s**y without words being spoken.

Answer 18

Its all about living on the edge, when the one your with gets very aggressive during s*x its a major turn on because they are saying they want/need you so bad they cant control themselves. it may seem that one is submissive but in reality its the submissive who has the power because the dominant has lost control. Both parties are able to indulge their lust from polar opposites. what could be better!

Answer 19

The very feisty and strong ones usually like it and the more timid ones usually don't.

Idk why.

The games that people play.

Answer 20

I get my pleasure from doing what pleases him. Knowing that I stir desire and passion in him and can give him so much pleasure, simply by meeting his needs, gives me immense pleasure.

Answer 21

Women are naturally submissive. I don't mean that they want to be molested or beaten but they are genetically the most submissive while men are genetically the most dominant. It is in a woman's nature to want a man who is better than them to protect them. Protection also means guarding so it is not weird that women want to be "dominated" by men. To tell you the truth: most women do have s*x to please their men. Why do more men than women initiate s*x if women are just as keen as the men???

Answer 22

It's just a kink, the same could be asked of males who enjoy being sexually submissive (yes they do exist!), so just enjoy the feeling of helplessness, some enjoy and get off on pain, it's really just a kink some people have, no real reason behind it sometimes, it's just there.