What could the affect of not having good parents have on a kid?

Question

im woundering cuz i dont really have parents.. My father is a selfish,Work aholic,Yelling kinda parent and my mother is a .. Well nothing like a parent more like a friend..

when i was in grade 3 i had to ask my mom to teach my to tie my shoes and i had to wait like a month for my mother to take the time to show me And when i was 10 to 11 i learnd to was my hands when you go to the bathroom when it came up in a conviction..(Ohh and i remeber when i was smaller when i would cry my dad would flip out and get really mad..)

So.. my parents dont teach my anything,What affect could this have on me?? (im already in counslling for depression and suicdal thoughts.. )

Thanks

Answer 1

sounds like you already know the effects this has on you.

but your parents are not responsible for all of your problems.  you have a life at school etc which is independent of them, and you have the chance there to make more of yourself than they enable you to do.

you can find role models anywhere you want; most people have their parents as their primary role models, but if you don't want to be like them, then look to other adults in your world to find better ways of dealing with other people and with your life.

just remember that however you might feel about it, as an adult you will be judged on your own behaviour and responses, not the influences that have caused you to behave like this.  nobody will excuse you for being badly behaved as an adult on account of your parents - that privilege expires with childhood.

also don't be too hard on your folks - think how you'd feel: your father managing a stressful job he can't quit because his family needs food clothing and shelter, perhaps poor discipline in the home as your mother wants to be popular rather than a disciplinarian... and kids don't come with instructions attached - it can be hard to know where to start in parenting.  imagine yourself dealing with the things they face daily.  when they started, they had no more experience of real life than you do now.  just be glad that you can see this and perhaps prepare yourself better than they did for the challenges that come your way.

this is probably something you can raise with your counsellor, who should be able to point you in the direction of something along the lines of a life-skills course, where you can learn coping techniques as well as life skills like cooking, self care and social skills.  you might also want to ask about some form of family therapy - again your counsellor will advise you as to whether this is appropriate to your situation, and if it is, will be able to promote the idea with your parents as a means of helping you adjust your family circumstances to make you happier.

Answer 2

My parents did'nt teach me alot either, same as you more or less! we'd watch them fight violently, i went thur depression like u, i got depressed 4 being depressed lol,  but i had to snap myself out of it, i got to know when that dark cloud was coming and i would make myself  think about other things it's  like self hypnosies,

i think i'm a better person for it, cos i can handle what things life throws at me and i am more independent i dont need any one for nothing! and i am better parent because i no how my child should be brought up, and he is bloody happy. You do have parents they where just selfish didnt think about the impact what they did would have on you! when i ask to my mum about my upbringing she will make me feel guilty for even thinking she did anything wrong & make out i imagined it all!!

You really must be positive about things,  

let the past go, there is Nothing u can do about now, if u dont it will effect the way u are with kids u have or will have , like it has my sister she a good mum but a selfish one...

Its time to move on, Dont let the past destory your future!! hopefully the effect on you is going to be a good one, look at it this way at least you know when you achive things in your life you have done it on your own,  Trust me that is one of the greatest feeling you can ever have.

Soooo.... get out there do something with your life & have as much fun as poss whilst your doing it. Good luck

Answer 3

If ur parents dont teach u anything bcoz they have much office work ,so pls read the religious books and understand them, u will feel better and it will take u to a world that u cant beleive

Understanding mean,I mean to say understand the meaning and do it consistently and u can feel the difference in u

Its a Promise

Answer 4

I would say that since you know what good parenting should be I think you are on the right track. We cannot pick who are parents are going to be. It really is sad that we cannot since in some cases, like yours, it would be a good thing. I say you should take a negative and turn it into a positive. Since you know what a kid goes through living in a bad home, maybe you should think of becoming a child counselor when you get older. Concentrate on school, go to college, and get away from your parents. You can make something of yourself! It is not the journey we take through life, it is all about our destination. Walk towards a better life and you will get there. I wish all the best for you. Keep me on your friend's list and keep in touch. I am rooting for you!