What defines beauty?

Question

A lot of the time (mostly all the time) I don't feel pretty. I was a cute little kid in elementary school and had lots of boys bringing me teddy bears on valentine's day when I was like 10, lol :D But now I'm 17 and have been through a lot and I feel bad about myself a lot. I have keratosis pilaris on my arms, which makes me have little bumps all over and after my dad died I got really low confidence and started scratching them, and now I have scars that my mom says will never go away. I have acne scars too, and I'm worried those will always be there. And that makes me feel like I've already screwed up past the point of no repair. I don't really wear makeup except for concealer and what not, and I wear my hair up like every day because it's thick and long and its like 110 degrees out. I put on weight too, so I went from like a size 1 to 7-8 in the past three years. I don't have any college money, so I stress about school and get little sleep, because I need to get a scholarship to a good school to make these past 8 years of agony worth it and prove to everyone I'm not a failure.

I'm really worried about my scars though, and I want to be a doctor so I hope they will go away. I'm worried people will think I have a contagious skin disorder or something, which it's not. Just genetic. I'm also on meds for anxiety and depression, which makes me feel like a failure sometimes. But my dad died of depression, so I think that's genetic too. And I have allergies to pretty much everything, which is tied to my skin issue and makes my voice really scratchy so I tend to keep my mouth shut when I know the answer. My teachers must think I'm mute or something, or constantly sick. Everyone thinks I'm sick all the time.

My eyes are really bad too and my vision gets blurry throughout the day despite my contacts. I have no money, so I haven't been shopping in the last year or so, and my clothes don't really fit. I have like one pair of jeans and one pair of shorts that I recycle throughout the week. I wish I at least had long sleeve shirts to cover up my arms.

Am I just screwed up beyond repair? All I've got right now is brains, but there are people WAY prettier and with way less problems than me who are even smarter than me, so there you go.

Sorry for dumping all my insecurities on you.

Answer 1

beauty comes from within, don't be so hard on yourself

I wish you all the best and would be proud of you if I were your mother

Answer 2

My friend look for the positive attitude about people and

hope for life. You sound like a career girl and this is positive

but open your heart to all those people around you.

Answer 3

i know exactly what you mean. I'm 13 and ive never thought i was pretty. I also have bumps all over my arms and i don't know how to get rid of them but i have been using dove body soap in stead of like scented stuff and i put lotion on them a lot during the day. They have been getting better so don't worry and just try it. I never where my hair down either because i don't like my hair. I only where it down when i straighten it. I don't like my body either and i only have a few clothes that i like. I used to where cutie clothes but then i stopped and now i where t sirts a lot. I have a ton of friends but its not because of my appearance. Just be out going and not as reserved. I rely on my friends for a lot and i love them. i am very loud and i love to have fun. go talk to some one who you don't know and  just believe in your self. if they don't like you then just ignore them and find some one else.

i hope that my advice helps!

Answer 4

AW, i'm sorry you feel so bad. But you have to realize that everyone has problems. EVERYONE. Even people who you think are prettier and smarter, they have their own issues.

The key is to not dwell on the. The more sorry you feel for yourself, the deeper you'll dig your own hole. You have to get out of it by systematically dealing with the issues you can. And accepting the ones you can't.

Your scares and marks are just a part of you, and even though you are self conscious now, it really won't be a big deal when you are older and around more mature people. My bf insists its my imperfections that make me special, and i am choosing to believe it. Or else i can cry everyday about my moles and scares and just be sad all the time, but where would that get me?

I really have been through what you have, but for different reasons, and also am in a family with a LOT of depression. And although i have already been through a few set backs, i am not going to let my family history keep me from living a fulfilling life. You have to be strong and know that your mind can help you overcome a lot of issues. And to not get caught up in the sadness that can eat you up inside.

As for clothing, do you have any family members who can give you some 'hand me downs'? Taking better care of yourself can let you feel batter about yourself. Try to put your hair up in cute clips or sleek headbands.

Hope you feel better. You are in more control than you think :)  

Answer 5

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  If you think all this negative stuff about yourself.. others will start to point it out too.  Just free yourself from all of this drama.  Youll be fine you just need a break.  Love and Light.

Answer 6

Build up from what you have.

You are young, be whatever you want to be! you have brains! brains focussed in the rightn direction can earn good money and that will buy you new clothes and status.

You can buy good clothes if you have a keen eye from charity shops, I do all of the time and I earn allot. It is fun!.

Get an eye test and up to date contacts, go to the gp and get a skin treatment and antihistamines. Get some confidence by treating yourself well. What meds are you on? youy sound a little low and even though your dad died of his illness, it does not mean that you will. I know as I am a nurse. My family has had anxiety and depression in it too. Get some excersice, take a good multivitamin and good diet. This reduces low feelings along with sleep, water, relaxation and not fixating on negative people or things. Do you have a family? ask for help. My partner has psoriasis all over his face and hands and I know it can be hard but soldier on!