What did you do for a Lunch Quake? Or Lunch Break?

Question

Quake shakes

things start to

swing rock N roll

Mirrors vibrating

forced to hang

Frail hand sits unoticed

Framed door calls

Hand in hand

We made our stand

Beneath the 2 by 4's

What do you poets think of this? Critique please?

Answer 1

FABULOUS  made me thankful for New England all over again..

Answer 2

I was in Los Angeles' "Birthday Quake" on its 200th Anniversary. Now, I understand what "paralyzed" means. This poems describes what one is supposed to do, but I literally could not move.

Answer 3

This is perfect. In all my time in California, I only felt one earthquake, though I'm certain there were more that I didn't feel. I never had the joy of running under the two by fours, however.

But still, I love the deeper message under this poem. It carries the essence of family, of a lovely relationships. Especially the imagery of the mirrors vibrating, losing sense of self in the onslaught of something new and dangerous and difficult. We made our stand, this is not a passive line, this is emotive and evocative, there is no cowardice in this line. I love your juxtapositioning of fear and pride in this poem. Great Job, Maltese...lovely.

Answer 4

I'm glad you're OK.  The last  4 lines say it all!

Answer 5

Nice write. Good imagery and newsworthy. I heard the quake was 8.5 ... I didn't feel anything so I was wondering. We live in Lancaster, Ca ... others felt it but I didn't. Thanks for the write.

Answer 6

A steel frame door is better! lol  Can only imagine.  My son lives in Long Beach.  Here is another take on yours:

Quake shaking

things...

rock n rolling

mirror moving

or am I moving