What did you learn from having children?

Question

That in the case of a 6 year old dryer sheets make perfect TP

6 year olds can unlock cell-phones and make international calls to people waking them up at 1am to tell them she's not in school for the summer

An 11 year old girl pms'ing is worse than being in labor

No more gum in my house because it is finding it's way into my dogs fur

Dogs and children can get the flu and the SAME time

It takes 2 weeks to wash all the fabrics in my house from the flu

The Xbox can randomly break twice while my 8 year old is playing it and dunno how it broke

Braces cause severe bruising and just enough swelling to make it impossible for an 11 year girl to talk on the phone for 3 hrs.

It costs me $24 to import Velveeeta from the US to make Mac & Cheese

Answer 1

LMAO!!

You cannot leave a 4 and 2 y/o alone for even 5 minutes without the room becoming a mess.

Kool-aid DOES NOT come out of carpet.

Cereal can be an "anytime" meal, so can peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

2 y/o little girls can cause deafness with their squeals.

Grandma smells funny (at least my son thinks so).

My children will never play with the legos as much as their father does.

Pop-Up books don't last very long.

Play-doh is non-toxic....thank GOD.

I now know the number to the poison control center by heart.

Answer 2

I have learned that 3 year old little boys love kitty litter but the bath tub and toilet do not.

Fingernail polish is not easily removed from puppy's fur, pillow, table tops or freshly painted white walls.

When you let a cat out of the fridge after it has been in there for about an hour they are not very happy.

That kids do say the worst things at the worst time. My daughter had been exposed to head lice at daycare so when picked her up early that day to go to the doctors office, after we got home and changed our close to leave again. I checked her head. She asked me what I was doing and I said checking for bugs becuase someone in her class had had them and they make your head very itchy. Well luckliy I did not see anything and we left for the doctors appt. When we got there of course it was packed and there were people standing around the walls. Kylea went off to play and in a second come running up to me and stated that her head was feeling a little itch, that she thinks I might want to see if I missed a bug in her hair. I wanted to die, or crawl under a chair oir something. However I would do nothing but stand there red faced and try to explain that she didnt have any bugs in her hair!!!

I have learned that no matter what they do or how many times I might have to clean up the major mess they leave behind  I love them dearly and would not change a moment of it!!

Answer 3

Boogers taste good (said by a 3 year old).

The bathtub drain will get clogged, the more hairbos the better!

Daddy always says I can, even when Kae Kae hears him say I can't.

Stain resestant carpets are a life saver!!

A 3 year old can work the DVD player better than her father.

Toliet paper is the cheapest toy ever.

A 3 year old can hold an entire phone conversation for 10 minuets, while daddy is in the shower.

NEVER buy white clothes!!!

Daycare workers know EVERYTHING!!!

The greatest one of all, the love they give you even when they are not biologically your own can make you feel like you're on top of the world!!! I love those kisses and hugs when we are trying to put her to bed and she keeps saying "I love you" and "give me more kisses and hugs" just to be able to stay awake a little bit longer.

Answer 4

When markers are involved there is no better canvas then the human body.

When you say hold your plate with both hands, that means hold it with one hand while the rest falls on the floor.

There's never enough bubbles in the bathtub.

When your 3 year old says "Go get me some milk, fool" and sees nothing wrong with that.

Locking the bedroom door and hiding is my own little getaway.

Answer 5

Donuts can fit in the VCR.  So can toys.

Toilet Paper is for Decorating the Bathroom with.

A baby can take their own diaper off.

Everything is disposable.

Whatever says it's durable hasn't met my kids.

Carpets are too much work.

I like Erma Bombeck's quote "Cleaning house while you have children is like shoveling the driveway while it's a blizzard out" or something like that..

If you build it, it will break.

People who live in houses that have glass and kids, will have broken glass.

Pots and pans are made for music, not cooking.

Dumping flour is the favorite activity of 2 year olds.

Toothpaste makes great fingerpainting material on the bathroom mirror and sink.

A teenager who "can't concentrate" because her little sister is bugging her is perfectly capable of sitting on the computer while changing the html on her myspace page, uploading pictures from her digital camera, and instant messaging on three different IM programs while texting and talking on her cell phone with her ipod on all at the same time, all with her math homework in her lap - probably on yahoo answers looking for someone to figure it out for her...

Answer 6

HAHAHAHA!

When asked if she wanted a brother or sister.. my almost 2 year old said, " I'd rather have a CAT!"

Sippy cups can be hidden in strange places.. and not found for a month

Bugs are only ok if they are allowed to stomp on them

According to my child.. if you pick your nose your brain will fall out..

Any "orange" colored food will stain clothes.. and will refuse to wash out

There IS a such thing as a child being "too quite"...

One roll of toilet paper can make a trail through my house about 3 times before finally running out..

When a child walks up to you with a disgusted look on their face and their little hand covered in "chocolate".. do not even attempt a sniff test. Just throw them in the tub and start scrubbing.....

Answer 7

What a magic eraser is.  I don't do well with less than five hours' sleep.  What an Epipen is.  Peanuts and nuts can be in practically every type of food.  What to do for a major asthma attack.  If you start really emphasizing hand-washing when one kid is already sick, it's way too late already and you'd better be prepared for them all to go down like dominos.  Stain remover is just as important to stock up on as milk.  Kids only get really sick in the middle of the night.  Stepping on plastic toys hurts.  Never buy a toy that emits noise.  You can lead a kid to the potty but you can't make him pee.  

what love is.

Answer 8

I know that crayons can make p**p look like Art

I AM MY MOM

that saying "don't make a mess" (after spending all morning cleaning) really means " go ahead MAKE A BIG MESS"

i learned id make a great MAID/HOUSEKEEPER and actually get paid. Instead i do it for free

i learned from my hubby that hes teaching the kids to have good sportsmanship by not letting the kids win when he plays them at video games.

that when the play station breaks all you have to do is buy a new one!!

not to complain about gas prices cause it ONLY cost $4( i had to explain the per gallon part)

List could go on and on

thanks for asking it though. Reminds me of how interesting the kids have made my life. Thank for the laugh. I needed it.