What do I call my absent father dad or by his name?

Question

I am 30 yrs old I was adopted @ 8 months of age it was an open adoption So my Bio father was allowed to come and go as he pleased Ive only met him 3 other times @ ages 5, 13, and 16 just briefly. Now he is back and wants to be apart of my life. Which I am ok with I have forgave him for whatever reason he never came around. But I dont know do I call him dad. I dont want to because The man who raised me my adopted father is my father and in my eyes the best father. I wont feel right calling some one else dad. I dont want to hurt my bio=fathers feelings if I call him by his name and I dont want to hurt my adopted father if he found out I was calling my bio - dad

Answer 1

I understand you not wanting to call him Dad.  He didn't raise you.  I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings.  Call him by his name.  It is what everyone else calls him.  He is lucky to have you in his life and should be glad you are willing to speak with him.  He probably wouldn't care what you called him as long as you are in his life now.  Do what makes you comfortable.

Answer 2

Already I can tell that you wouldn't feel comfortable calling your bio dad father. If it doesn't feel right to you then you shouldn't just because you think it may be the right thing. Your adopted father was the one who raised you and supported you since you where small and I'm sure he was always there for you and probably will always be, now that is someone who should be deserved to be called father. Even though your bio dad is tech your "real" father it doesn't mean you should feel that you have to call him father/dad just because of that. He really wasn't a part of your life and you didn't have him has you were growing up really. I think its fine to call him by his first name for now and see how things go.  

Answer 3

Don't worry about this, just call him by his first name....you owe him nothing.  If he wants you to call him Dad say no!

Answer 4

just talk to him about it

your old enough that you two could have a understanding conversation

he shouldnt expect you to call him dad tho

but everyone should respect you and your feelings because your the one in the middle of it

and if by some chance you called him dad your adopt-dad should respect it, and if you dont then your bio-dad should still respect it.

Answer 5

call him by his name. Its the only right thing to do. If he doesnt like it its his problem not yours. # times in your life of seeing him doesnt give him the right to be called dad. He is lucky to even see you at all/