What do I do? How do I do it?

Question

Ok I need some help here. I don't want to mess it up. There's this guy in my life and he's 28 and single. I'm 23 and single. Anyway I'm in love with him and I'm going to tell him that he's very special to me. But I don't know what to do after that.

He's the first guy I've ever had a healthy relationship with. So I don't want to do or say anything that'll damage or ruin our friendship.

Would telling him he's special to me be perfect if he decides he wants to be more than my special friend in the future? Take that 'special' to the next level? He's extremely intelligent.

Answer 1

tell him, let him figure it out from there

Answer 2

Well thats tough, it could go either way, I think you would know if he liked you as more then a friend - just think about that - and if you think he does then why not tell him, if your not sure then maybe you shouldnt -

There are some things that are worth knowing and worth trying for - you have to pick which things are and arent worth it - a person can talk themselfs into what they want to believe like if you think that you are great friends and you for sure dont want to lose it then maybe re-train yourself to only see him as a friend - but if you have to know, because you feel like you two could have something great and its worth losing a little bit of a friendship over( because you'll could forget it happened over time) if he doesnt feel the same, then do it - otherwise you'll never know - which is easier for you?

Answer 3

Just tell him he means a lot to you and you would like to move the relationship to the next level.

See what his reaction is and take it from there. If he smiles right away, you're in

Answer 4

He should be able to catch on if he's smart. That is a perfect way of putting it, which will probably not scare him away or make it feel awkward. Just make sure you pick the right moment to say it, like on a romantic date.

Answer 5

You appear to have a very good approach.  If he feels the same about you, then things will progress well.  If he doesn't feel the same about you, then just explain that you understand, but wanted him to know how you feel, and that you value your friendship.

Even if you did begin dating, you would not do away with the friendship.  You would keep the friendship and add the dating.  You'd still be friends, infact you'd be better friends.  At the core of any successful romantic relationship is a strong friendship.  Many successful romantic relationships even stem from platonic relationships (friendships).

I don't see any reason that things have to get strange even if he doesn't share your feelings.  You still like one another, and you've known each other for 4 years.   You probably have regular social things you do together and those things don't have to change.  Actually knowing he isn't interested may even allow you to move-on, and no longer wonder if he is.  Part of the reason you haven't moved-on yet, is because you hope he may be as well.  If he is, then that's great, you can begin a new chapter in your relationship and take things to the next level, but still retain that friendship.

If he's intelligent, then he should be able to comprehend all of this.  He may even be able to process this new information.  That should only help the situation.

It sounds like you have a good plan.

Best of luck in life and love.  :-)

Answer 6

Please let him make the first move and wait for him to tell you that you are special to him, then tell him how special he is to you.Don't rush things if you want a true friend and Lover for a lifetime.

Answer 7

In my experience, the best thing to do is sit down and talk it out.  Tell him what's on your mind, and be totally honest.

Don't worry, it will work out fine!

Answer 8

After knowing you 4 years, I'll bet he already knows that you think he is special.  I'd ask "Do you ever think about us being more than friends?"  If he asks, why, do you, you just say "sometimes".  Play it cool, and make it "safe" for him to tell you either way (and you don't end up looking/feeling stoopid).  

Answer 9

it depends how you think he feels about you.  probably just tell him though, special isn't like asking for committment, it's just telling him you care.

Answer 10

i always thought that if you relly think you know you love him, then go for it. and if he lets you down, then hes not the man you thought he was. but most likely, h**l feel the same way. and after that? well, i would just go with the flow ya no? let things fall into place :)

good luck!

Answer 11

TELL HIM!

Answer 12

i like RAWS answer. ( :

but anyways, i think that you should tell him. subtle not right away

kind of give him clues

and if he says no, dont make things awkward. just be like 'oh. ok no problem' and dont be hurt. because you guys will always be good friends.

oh and good luck girl! :D i hope he agrees with you. you guys sound like you would be a good match

Answer 13

Ok you have been friends for 4 years, does this mean you are in a relationship with him? Also, if nothing has happened in the 4 years you have been friends I wouldn't ruin the friendship by telling him you are in love with him.  If he felt that way you would know it.

Answer 14

ask him out to dinner on the way home or at dinner, tell him youve liked him for a really long time, or something. if he feels the same way he wont just be silent or be shocked.

Answer 15

why yes said the spider to the fly

Answer 16

casually mention that u were thinking that how come we havent dated since we both like each other so much....

just dont go into details....lets see what he says next...if hes into u, he'll inquire more, otherwise he'll give u some kinna excuse....so thats how ur friendship will remain intact and u'll know if hes the one

Answer 17

WHEN U SHARE YOUR FEELINGS WITH HIM...IT'S NOTHING TO DO AFTER THAT BUT WAIT ON HIS RESPONSE

Answer 18

well basically telling him like you just told us is probably your best bet. just let him know how you feel about him. im sure you have nothing to lose. you already have a great friend in him so he should be easy to talk to!! i hope i helped best of luck!!! let us know how you made out!

Answer 19

I know EXACTLY what you should do.

Take off all your clothes and scream

TAKE ME NOW!!!

lol JOKING! Well do you two flirt? Or is there any hints that he is attracted to you or you know...anything of that sort?

Usually you have a pretty good sense if the other person is thinking of you as more than just friends.

If your pretty sure, I would sit down and talk to him about your relationship, nothing too long or anything, just make it short and sweet.

Sort of playful or flirtatious. Don't tell him your in love with him right off the bat Lol. That might be a little bit too much to handle.

My boyfriend is an engineer and can be a bit oblivious sometimes because he is so smart, so I had to be careful in the beginning too. :)

Cheers!

Answer 20

defff telll him

Answer 21

i would tell him (in a sincere tone when it falls into conversation correctly) that he means a whole lot to you.

and maybe with a gentle hand on his leg or something

if he reacts well, you can tell him you're in love with him another time.